View Full Version : Can attraction just puff, instantly dissapear?

June 10th, 2017, 03:03 PM
Soo, i was talking with a girl on snapchat, she is pretty and she seemed interested(searched and followed me on instagram/went out with me o a date) and I tought she likes me. But when we went out I didn t felt to kiss her, even tho we got along very nice, danced on some slow songs, laughed alot held hands. I just didn t went for it bcs i didnt felt it.
Then on next 3 days we couldn t see each other but our chat was very lovely.
And then in the 4th day she just completly changed and seemed very very very uninterested. And I asked '' why you give me answers like that''and she didn t want to explain alot but she lost a friend(didn t die, just' 'broke up' ') and now she s in depression. And since then we taked fewer and fewer and she refused me when I asked out again.
I know I don t have chances anymore but what do you think, can attraction just disappear and she forgot about me bcs of hers problems or it s a problem of mine?
Ty for your answers

June 10th, 2017, 03:09 PM
It could be a lot of things. It may not be you. It may be something completely outside of you. Sometimes people need time. The conversation isn't going to be rich and interesting forever.

But to answer your question. Yes I think feelings can go away very instantly. Not saying that is the case here, but it is possible that one day they feel it and the next day they don't. I really hope she is honest with you and does not just try to fade away. But for all you know the fire might be back tomorrow

Good luck with it!!!

June 10th, 2017, 03:14 PM
It's entirely possible that it just disappeared. It's happened to me before. It's a hard thing to understand or control. Either way, I don't think it's a problem of yours or anything you should change or correct unless she tells you. Sometimes it just doesn't work for people and you have to move on. You could of course give her a little time, but don't bank on her coming around again.

June 10th, 2017, 03:23 PM
Ok, that s exactly what I thought. I even read our last conversations again(not all on snap they auto delete) and didn t understood anything.
Anyway, I kinda moved on already bcs it a been already 4 or 3 days. I will move on completly soon I m sure :D
Thank you for your quick replaying.

June 10th, 2017, 03:59 PM
I've personally been in her shoes before. There's some times where I thought I liked people or was even in a fantastic relationship with someone and then one day I just lost all feelings for that person. It's not really something I can describe and definitely out of the person's control. In some cases it's not really anyone's fault. Hopefully she can try and explain what's going on, and if she can't don't pester her for it. It may irritate her a little more. I guess that's just fate, huh?

June 10th, 2017, 05:50 PM
Simple answer is yes, they can, I think it is especially easy if it is over social media cause u don't have to see that person everyday and be reminded of them, like I liked a girl, and I thought I would never get over her, but once she left my school I, think, I got over her, and that didn't happen in a day, but it was the lack of human contact which took away the feelings. On the other hand that can make them stronger tho

June 12th, 2017, 01:06 AM
If she is suffering from depression, that's a wildcard scenario.

A mental illness type of situation is always gonna hold potential to throw any relationship out of whack, whether it's a parent to child, friend to friend, and lovers.

It's not a linear scenario, attraction is not A, leads to B, leads to C, it's a network of cause and effect.

June 12th, 2017, 07:44 AM
It can indeed just disappear, feelings are real weird like that

June 12th, 2017, 03:34 PM
Yep, it's not fun, but it can happen. Speaking from experience here.

June 13th, 2017, 12:39 PM
I think it can, depending on what a person does to turn someone off or what they look like

June 13th, 2017, 02:55 PM
Well of course it can disappear, attraction isn't permanent and it differs from one person to another in many aspects. Maybe she is not into you anymore and that whole depression stuff is full of crap if you ask me. You could of course give her all that time she needs, but i wouldn't rely on her to come around again. In my humble opinion i don't think it's all your problem or anything, but sometimes things in our lives don't always go the way we want them no matter how much planning we do. You just have to move on...Once you'll master that skill, it's going to save you from plenty of hard time and overthinking in your life.

Good Luck!

June 14th, 2017, 12:43 PM
I think it can, I had a similar experience actually.
I had a very good girl friend in middle school who I was pretty sure liked me, so we kept in touch even though we went to different High Schools. We'd text each other every now and then and visit each other in the Summer. Then last year we began texting more often and she began putting stuff on social media about a guy she liked (me). Finally she invited me to a special dance at her school and I went with her and we had a fun night, we danced and talked and then watched a movie at her house. I thought everything was fine, but I hadn't kissed her because I wasn't really ready for it. Later though on social media she expressed disappointment in having not had her first kiss that night and began talking to me a lot less. Then when Junior Prom rolled around, she didn't even invite me to it, she asked some other guy instead. Needless to say, it seems as if she almost instantaneously lost interest in me just because I didn't try to kiss her, and now she rarely ever talks to me. So yes, I do think attraction can just go "puff" all of a sudden lol

June 14th, 2017, 06:46 PM
Yep...i had this happen too but i was the one who lost interest
me and her messed around (no sex) but after a little while i just stopped being interested...no clue why but i kinda also felt that her heart wasnt really in it, so maybe thats why i lost interest

its good to hear you moved on!! :-D thats exactly what you needed to do