View Full Version : How To Tell Parents?

June 2nd, 2017, 01:31 AM
Hey Y'all. So over the years I've always felt an attraction to the opposite sex, and that much hasn't wavered at all ever since i began puberty and romantic thinking. However, I was always trying to block out and shun the feelings I had for the same sex. And after years of soul searching and discovery, I have accepted myself as bisexual; now I'm gonna tell my parents.

So my question is basically what did y'all do to prepare for it? What did you say, how did you tell them? How long did you wait to tell them? Etc. I am just trying to see how other people brought themselves to tell them, what helped them get mentally prepared, and how they actually told them.

Thanks! :)

June 2nd, 2017, 04:16 AM
I've haven't told anyone just yet... just remember that they don't have to know if you're not completely comfortable in them knowing.

June 3rd, 2017, 09:08 PM
To be honest, I personally don't think you need to tell your parents. If you fall for a guy, bring him home like you would with a girl and introduce him as your partner. At that time, if you feel the need, you could tell them of your sexuality. As for myself, I came out during a bad situation. I was 17 at the time in my senior year of high school. It was when I was having an argument with my dad right before I left for school. After school, I cleared my mind and sat them both down and explained how I felt at the time. I think they were slightly dissapointed (think my mom cried) but nothing had really changed. I think my dad is in denial and does not recognize (can't think of a better word) what I had told him. My mom sent me an email explaining how she felt (if you would like, I can email this for you to read). In all honesty though, if they accept me or not, I refuse to change who I am and what I feel because they are unhappy. This is my life and I want to live for myself and be happy. If they can only hold me back, I guess I would just have to leave them behind. Whether I fall in love with a man or woman, my happiness comes first.

June 4th, 2017, 03:45 AM
now I gotta tell my parents.

I mean, it's something personal. You don't HAVE to tell anyone.
Also, chances are they already know, or have an faint idea.

Don't worry about it. Sooner or later they'll figure it out. Latest when you introduce a guy to them as being your boyfriend.
Don't put pressure on yourself!

June 14th, 2017, 12:35 AM
I told my mother within a couple of weeks of getting a girlfriend (due to blackmail from her mother...) and she said "oh, we've all known for years!" so she technically worked it out before I did :P

I've come to the conclusion that I'm never going to tell my dad because he's very homophobic and I don't want to ruin the father-daughter relationship over one thing that he'll never accept.

That being said, it's not compulsory that you tell your parents... or you could introduce them to your boyfriend and tell them that you're bisexual? You're starting to reach an age where you begin to branch out from your parents so I really wouldn't overthink it too much :) good luck!

June 24th, 2017, 05:33 PM
Here's something to remember: don't rush it. I actually came out to them completely by accident, and not by even telling them in person, but when I did, it led to a 4 hour (not an exaggeration) talk about things that went way beyond sexual preference. My parents have pretty much brushed it off as something that I was pressured into saying, but I know deep down how I feel personally. I know who I am, and that's what matters. You don't HAVE to tell them. Tell them if you want to, but only do it when you really know you're safe and will be accepted.

Just JT
June 24th, 2017, 05:40 PM
Why do you feel a need to tell them, or anyone? Society always assumes we're straight till we come out. We shouldn't need to explain anything. Just go about your life as you want, they'll figure it out. And if they can't they'll ask

June 25th, 2017, 02:15 AM
Why do you feel a need to tell them, or anyone? Society always assumes we're straight till we come out. We shouldn't need to explain anything. Just go about your life as you want, they'll figure it out. And if they can't they'll ask

This is what I was trying to say - and you worded it a whole lot better than I did :lol:

Don't feel the need to justify yourself to people! You never, ever should feel forced to explain your choices and decisions if you don't want to!

Orange Kenny
June 26th, 2017, 01:38 PM
I'm with the guys above, too. I don't really get the whole "I figured out I'm not straight so I have to tell everybody" thing. If you were straight, would you do the same? Then why do you feel like you have to now?

I mean, it's a personal freaking issue. It should only matter to you. You wouldn't go telling everybody you prefer pizza over burgers, would you. I'm not saying it has the same significance.
I'm just saying: this coming out thing, sounds a lot like confessing. Confessing is for sinners. If you consider yourself one, then go ahead let everyone know, so that you'll be cleansed and accepted by the society that's got it all right and figured out (all right my ass).

Letting a friend know is one thing. But that stressful situation where you have to think and think until you find the right words and circumstances to reveal to everybody such a personal matter of yours, is just plain ridiculous.
And I think it all starts when you see your sexuality as a huge well kept secret that ought to be revealed sometime so that you won't have that burden on your consciousness.

Well, don't see it like that!

- An imperative anti-psychologist :)