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View Full Version : Her dad won't let her date?


Bampto
June 2nd, 2017, 12:57 AM
hey everyone, i've just found out something about the girl i want to ask out, her dad isn't letting her date. i haven't asked her out yet and i can be patient. her best-friend knows that i like her and will let me know everything about the whole situation, just wanted to see what people with experience would say. before you even think it, no, i don't think she would want to have a relationship and not tell her parents, she tells her parents everything and doesn't like hiding things from them. And also i do not know if she likes me back

Uniquemind
June 2nd, 2017, 02:45 AM
A bold approach works best and usually catches the parentals off guard.

But you have to approach the father and mother in a mature way, and you save this card for an event like "Prom".

It may not work, but the boldness along with the timing may shift leverage in your favor.

Eric Rom
June 2nd, 2017, 04:14 AM
All excuses. If girls really want to do something, they work their way around. So if a girl gives family excuses, she's not interested, but also does not want to lose you as a friend.

ShineintheDark
June 2nd, 2017, 05:57 AM
Make sure to be respectful of both sides. If you want, approach her parents and discuss your intentions. If not, I'd suggest holding back because hiding it from her parents isn;'t a long-term solution.

mick01
June 2nd, 2017, 12:16 PM
How old are you both?

Uniquemind
June 3rd, 2017, 02:07 PM
Make sure to be respectful of both sides. If you want, approach her parents and discuss your intentions. If not, I'd suggest holding back because hiding it from her parents isn;'t a long-term solution.

But given that sometimes relationships are shortlasting anyway that might be all the time they need, parents nonethewiser.


All excuses. If girls really want to do something, they work their way around. So if a girl gives family excuses, she's not interested, but also does not want to lose you as a friend.

There's truth to this, but it depends on the base personality of the person. Some will be rebellious, others cannot and do harbor immense guilt which affects the relationship. Other households have super strict parents where all the doors of the house are locked down security wise and parents get mobile phone alerts if you try to sneak out.

Rebellious dating and flings are much harder now given the advances in technology which is why sexting and flirting on social media is on the rise.

Bampto
June 3rd, 2017, 06:19 PM
How old are you both?

We are both 15 and she will be 16 in august

But given that sometimes relationships are shortlasting anyway that might be all the time they need, parents nonethewiser.




There's truth to this, but it depends on the base personality of the person. Some will be rebellious, others cannot and do harbor immense guilt which affects the relationship. Other households have super strict parents where all the doors of the house are locked down security wise and parents get mobile phone alerts if you try to sneak out.

Rebellious dating and flings are much harder now given the advances in technology which is why sexting and flirting on social media is on the rise.


I wouldn't say she's rebellious, no. And she's so nice she called someone a dick and felt guilty about it all day. So, yeah.

A bold approach works best and usually catches the parentals off guard.

But you have to approach the father and mother in a mature way, and you save this card for an event like "Prom".

It may not work, but the boldness along with the timing may shift leverage in your favor.

I live in Australia, so there is no prom, but it is possible we might
get a year 10 dance at the end of the year.

Posts merged - please edit or use multi quote next time. ~Endeavour

Uniquemind
June 4th, 2017, 01:09 AM
We are both 15 and she will be 16 in august




I wouldn't say she's rebellious, no. And she's so nice she called someone a dick and felt guilty about it all day. So, yeah.



I live in Australia, so there is no prom, but it is possible we might
get a year 10 dance at the end of the year.

Posts merged - please edit or use multi quote next time. ~Endeavour

Aussies's might call a formal dance a different name, but a dance is a dance.


Til then id trade Facebook's with each other and just bide your time, that's my advice to you. You can still send her little sweet notes in her locker and flirt her up a ton. Just don't get stalkerish that creeps us girls out.

Bampto
June 4th, 2017, 07:35 AM
Aussies's might call a formal dance a different name, but a dance is a dance.


Til then id trade Facebook's with each other and just bide your time, that's my advice to you. You can still send her little sweet notes in her locker and flirt her up a ton. Just don't get stalkerish that creeps us girls out.

What if it takes too long for the right time and I end up in the friendzone? I don't know how to stay out of it. At the moment I'm using a sort of "feel sorry for me I've never had a girlfriend" strategy.

Uniquemind
June 4th, 2017, 05:51 PM
What if it takes too long for the right time and I end up in the friendzone? I don't know how to stay out of it. At the moment I'm using a sort of "feel sorry for me I've never had a girlfriend" strategy.

The friendzone does not exist in the traditional sense of it being an absolute doomsday to a relationships potential or only friendship with that person.

The end of the day the only thing is if she figures out if you have the variables that she finds attractive. A lot of that will be guys who are observant, and will listen but also are strong in character. There are physical looks that matter in some respect with girls but that's not something you can control.


Confidence is key whether it's how you handle the pain of rejection or acceptance, display confidence in both situations and that's how you need to approach us.

Don't do the pity card. Appeal to pity is not very effective.


Instead you should use a "I really like you, let's hang out" casual mental state when flirting it takes some pressure off and it doesn't feel like intimidating. Sometimes boys come on too strongly and it feels like their trying to get us to some kind of exclusive business contract.

Don't come on too strongly, but flirt passionately and in a fun humorous way if you can.

Aldee
June 10th, 2017, 01:48 AM
A lot of great advice on this thread. I look forward to hearing how things go.

Bampto
June 21st, 2017, 01:00 AM
well, i uh, i asked her out. looking back it wasn't the greatest of ideas. i dont really remember what happened. all i remember is asking her if she wanted to go out with me, and she sorta said "oh" and i zoned out, i remember her saying something about being scared to be in a relationship, even though she has dated before, and something about her dad. i just kept saying "I understand, I understand" and afterwards as we were walking back to her friends i said "Sorry if that was awkward" and she didnt reply. i still have feelings for her, and i still talk to her. i did this 2 weeks ago. don't know if i should keep going after her or not, and if i should go after her, how would i do so? she won't go behind her dad's back and i have no clue if she actually likes me back.

zac2004
June 24th, 2017, 01:56 AM
if she is close with her parents as you say, you need to start as friends with this girl and gain her parents trust, sneaking around is not a good idea esp since when she is close.

Uniquemind
June 24th, 2017, 03:21 AM
well, i uh, i asked her out. looking back it wasn't the greatest of ideas. i dont really remember what happened. all i remember is asking her if she wanted to go out with me, and she sorta said "oh" and i zoned out, i remember her saying something about being scared to be in a relationship, even though she has dated before, and something about her dad. i just kept saying "I understand, I understand" and afterwards as we were walking back to her friends i said "Sorry if that was awkward" and she didnt reply. i still have feelings for her, and i still talk to her. i did this 2 weeks ago. don't know if i should keep going after her or not, and if i should go after her, how would i do so? she won't go behind her dad's back and i have no clue if she actually likes me back.

I think the subject of your crush on her caught her off guard and because it's a complex situation (both your feelings towards her, her feelings toward you, her dad's dating rules, and her own comfortableness in the romance world, she defused tension). If she's not attracted to you then she also was probably wanting to reject you but not directly so as to not be cruel about it, in case she hurts your feelings.