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ItsJustSomeone
May 26th, 2017, 04:03 PM
My friend keeps asking me out... I say no every time, but somehow they always manage to pull up the question. We've been friends for a long time, but since they've started to become so persistent with this, things have gone downhill. I'm always afraid they'll try again because if I say no, they make me feel like shit. They'll give me the cold shoulder for months, and then come back. They know exactly what to say to make me feel bad. And if I ever said yes, I would feel even more anxious than ever. I know it's my fault for letting this happen so many times. But I just wanted my best friend back. And they're not even there anymore. I don't know what to do. What can I do so that they just get the message already and move on? I'm just so tired of this. :(

jackspeaks
May 26th, 2017, 04:33 PM
I have a friend who has had the exact same scenario. Just confront them about it quietly and privately, tell them how bad it makes you feel to say no and that you do love them as a friend, but that if they keep asking you wont be able to stay friends.

NerdSquared
May 26th, 2017, 05:59 PM
I have a friend in a similar scenario, just remind them of how much you appreciate them as a friend in private like the above post said.

IStayOnVT
May 27th, 2017, 06:57 PM
Just be strong and say NO

SethfromMI
May 27th, 2017, 07:13 PM
I have a friend who has had the exact same scenario. Just confront them about it quietly and privately, tell them how bad it makes you feel to say no and that you do love them as a friend, but that if they keep asking you wont be able to stay friends.

pretty much along the lines of what I would say. do it gently. do it out of love. but they have to understand, while you may love them as a friend, it is not in a romantic way. now it is possible they just can't handle that. and if that is the case, the two of you might not be able to be friends. so hopefully it works out and they can finally understand. it would suck to end a friendship over that but it does happen. you are not doing anything wrong by not feeling the same way, it is your feeling. while they are not reacting the best way, they are not technically doing anything wrong by being attracted to you. they can't help attraction. but hopefully they can come to grips with it and the two of you can continue to be friends

Chaosphere
May 28th, 2017, 12:55 AM
My friend keeps asking me out... I say no every time, but somehow they always manage to pull up the question. We've been friends for a long time, but since they've started to become so persistent with this, things have gone downhill. I'm always afraid they'll try again because if I say no, they make me feel like shit. They'll give me the cold shoulder for months, and then come back. They know exactly what to say to make me feel bad. And if I ever said yes, I would feel even more anxious than ever. I know it's my fault for letting this happen so many times. But I just wanted my best friend back. And they're not even there anymore. I don't know what to do. What can I do so that they just get the message already and move on? I'm just so tired of this. :(
This person doesn't sound like a best friend to me. I would say that you cut ties with them. There a are others out there that will be better friends and lovers. The aforementioned friend doesn't sound like someone you'd want in your life. If they're holding you back, then it's time to take the plunge and find other people to be around.