View Full Version : Sexual abuse from father

May 17th, 2017, 09:56 PM
I'm not really sure where to start, so I will begin when I was 5.( I'm Russian, apologies if I misspell). I recall being sexually abused by my father when we live in Russia. It started out with him touching me inappropriately, further escalating to more sexual contact and intercourse when I was around 7. I was always scared and confused. He would threaten me but then say this was normal. I did not understand why I could not tell anyone if it was fine. When I was around 9 years old, still being abused by him, I told my mom. I don't know if she believed me, or if she did not. She just told me that I was being stupid and to stop telling her things that were none of her concern. It was not only sexual abuse, but I eventually started getting physically abused. I haven't told anyone this, because I am scared. I was 12 years old when we move to Washington, my aunt and uncle came as well. My father left my mother and I and went back to Russia when I was 14. My mother always blamed this on me, and she went back to Russia too. I was never treated right by them, so in a way, I am glad they left. I live with my aunt and uncle now. They aren't the nicest, but I appreciate them taking care of me. I always think about the abuse I went through. It is very painful, and I sometimes think it is my fault. I feel guilty, and feel like I should have been a better daughter,

May 18th, 2017, 07:38 AM
This is NOT your fault. You should NOT feel guilty. You did nothing wrong.

Please find professional help. This kind of stuff is impossible to deal with on your own.
You may also consider reporting your father to the police. That being said, this will mean a legal battle that may last for years. I really think he should not be able to get away with what he did, but I could very well understand if you don't want to go through that ordeal.

It always pains me to hear/read these kind of stories. :(
Parents should protect and help their children, not abuse them.

I hope you will be able to live a good life, despite what happened to you. *hug*

May 18th, 2017, 04:51 PM
I understand how you feel. Sometimes, I still find myself wondering if there was something that I did or didn't do, or could have done differently. But the fact is that our parents are adults and we aren't. Its THEIR responsibility to act correctly and to protect us, not hurt us or neglect us or use us like sex toys. We're just kids. We don't have any real choices.
I'm glad that you're away from that person. At the very least, the abuse has stopped. That's a very powerful thought. Hold on to it, and try to make each day just a little bit better than the last. Its not your fault. Things will get better. Its not too late.

May 28th, 2017, 04:13 PM
This is heartbreaking! Ugh I'm sooo sorry you went through that. That's horrible. When you say things aren't great even with your aunt and uncle what do you mean? Are you still being physically abused by them? Please please don't think this is your fault. Nothing they did is normal nor is it your fault. I wish I knew why some parents thought it was okay to abuse their children in any way

June 11th, 2017, 08:51 PM
You have been through a hell. It's quite admirable seeing you being able to talk about it here.

Seven Wonders
June 14th, 2017, 12:00 PM
you are not guilty in anyway...at least now you live with peace of mind.Try to forget the nightmare..be happy

June 17th, 2017, 07:26 PM
I'm so sorry for hearing that. Now that you are in a better place you should go to a psychologist or someone that could help you get over those bad memories. I had a friend that was abused just like you by his dad but the only difference is that he was a boy. I was always next to him trying to help him. Don't let your childhood be destroyed. At least you're safe now.

August 1st, 2017, 02:27 AM
You did not deserve to be abused like that. The way your father acted was very WRONG. The way your mother acted when you told her was also WRONG. You have done everything RIGHT. I'm sure that it took a lot of courage to tell your mom. I'm sure that her reaction hurt you.

You need help dealing with what happened so that you can move on and live a happy life. Maybe at school you could ask about counselling.

There are nice guys out there.

August 4th, 2017, 07:14 PM
You are not guilty of anything.

August 4th, 2017, 09:35 PM
Wow! You experienced a lot of disgusting abuse by someone that is supposed to love & protect you. You father was not treating you as a daughter, & nothing you could have done justifies his behavior. Even worse, your mother knew & refused to intervene on your behalf. You were NOT a bad daughter. You had abusive parents.

Even if life with your aunt & uncle is not ideal, I'm glad you are finally in a safe place.

September 20th, 2017, 10:05 AM
Our thoughts are with you, Svetlana. I hope you are doing well. Feel free to PM me at any time if you want a chat.