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Desdemona
May 12th, 2017, 10:35 AM
I so want a boyfriend. I am good looking and have good grades and it still is like they never look at me. I get nervous when I talk to people, boys included, so I can never take the initiative. My dad says I'm only 14 and there is plenty of time yet, but if boys never talk to me it doesn't matter. I am jealous of my best friend who has been in a relationship for six months now and she tells me everything from what they do together to her having great sex. I could kill her out of envy when I hear that. I don't want to hear it. I want someone to be with and I want to have sex too and I'm so damn lonely living in a small shitsplat town in Arizona. I would be a good girlfriend. I am smart. I look good. And I am confident with my body. Why can't I find someone?

Sorry. I'm having a bad day today.

Desdemona
May 12th, 2017, 10:49 AM
I so want a boyfriend. I am good looking and have good grades and it still is like they never look at me. I get nervous when I talk to people, boys included, so I can never take the initiative. My dad says I'm only 14 and there is plenty of time yet, but if boys never talk to me it doesn't matter. I am jealous of my best friend who has been in a relationship for six months now and she tells me everything from what they do together to her having great sex. I could kill her out of envy when I hear that. I don't want to hear it. I want someone to be with and I want to have sex too and I'm so damn lonely living in a small shitsplat town in Arizona. I would be a good girlfriend. I am smart. I look good. And I am confident with my body. Why can't I find someone?

Sorry. I'm having a bad day today.

Also I have my period and our AC is broken and it's 100 degrees in here and I stink and feel gross.

Desynchronized
May 12th, 2017, 10:56 AM
First things first, tell your best friend you don't like her talking bout her relationship with her boyfriend.
And if guys aren't talking you might want to start the conversation. And as for being shy and nervous idk how i can help.
Great to know your confident about your body. Thats a big plus. And +1 to your dad. He seems like a very nice person. You've got plenty of life left n when the right guy will come you'll know. Take it slow.

Desdemona
May 12th, 2017, 11:48 AM
And boys stare at my boobs. But they never see ME. And never talk to me.

Sword of the morning
May 13th, 2017, 06:19 PM
From my own experience, living in Arizona myself. Small towns are not the best for dating ,you'll find a guy for you one day.

KatieCO2003
May 13th, 2017, 10:18 PM
Zero guys up here under the age of 50. But yeah, I get it. IRL, I don't really speak either.

Chaosphere
May 13th, 2017, 10:56 PM
I so want a boyfriend. I am good looking and have good grades and it still is like they never look at me. I get nervous when I talk to people, boys included, so I can never take the initiative. My dad says I'm only 14 and there is plenty of time yet, but if boys never talk to me it doesn't matter. I am jealous of my best friend who has been in a relationship for six months now and she tells me everything from what they do together to her having great sex. I could kill her out of envy when I hear that. I don't want to hear it. I want someone to be with and I want to have sex too and I'm so damn lonely living in a small shitsplat town in Arizona. I would be a good girlfriend. I am smart. I look good. And I am confident with my body. Why can't I find someone?

Sorry. I'm having a bad day today.
Confidence in yourself is a majorly attractive thing for guys. So is stability, which you also say you have. Personally, I like girls who are shy, but that trait can make it difficult to start conversations and therefore relationships if someone isn't capable of giving and taking. My suggestions are thus: First, try to leverage your confidence in yourself (Not just your body, but your smarts and your personality also) into confidence with chatting with boys. Realize that you are valuable with or without a boyfriend, and also that the worst thing that can happen is that you will be turned down, and that doesn't mean that you are worth any less. It just means that a given guy doesn't see that you are worth it. That's on him. There are other guys who will see the value in you as a partner. Also, try to find places to meet boys other than school. Maybe go to a gym, a class, or join an after-school club. Hope that helps.

Bontigo Papi .
May 14th, 2017, 01:28 AM
Well , just because you look good , have a great body and good grades doesn't necessarily mean you're destined to have a boyfriend , not now and not even in a few years time . Just stay patient and it will come to you . You could approach guys if you want to , maybe show them you're interested , and maybe things might start becoming better .

Just don't let your best friend and the thoughts of guys not being interested in you bring you down . You're still young and I'm sure you'll find the perfect guy one day . Also, just another word of advice , since you want to have sex with , which I assume a loyal boyfriend , make sure you trust the other person first .

Desdemona
May 14th, 2017, 03:16 AM
From my own experience, living in Arizona myself. Small towns are not the best for dating ,you'll find a guy for you one day.

You can say that again about small towns. From the looks of things now, I might go to high school in Phoenix. But that also kind of scares me. Huge place. But at least I should make a lot of new friends.

Sword of the morning
May 14th, 2017, 09:48 AM
You can say that again about small towns. From the looks of things now, I might go to high school in Phoenix. But that also kind of scares me. Huge place. But at least I should make a lot of new friends. Pheonix is a good place to be. I was scared at first when I went to my high school, but you'll like it. Many more people.

ShineintheDark
May 14th, 2017, 12:00 PM
You just gotta have confidence and self belief and the guys will come eventually. You got a whole life to live and love is only one part of that. You'll find someone in time.

Uniquemind
May 14th, 2017, 12:49 PM
Upperclassmen guys also tend to be much more forward and flirty than when I was in junior high too.

However I'm not in as small a town as you are, I'm sure that impacting your scenario and partly because guys are probably intimidated by your good looks.

If you are as attractive as you say, then most likely if you could read minds, tons of boys probably want you, but they don't know how to approach.


Another way to look at it is that during this time you can focus on yourself, your talents, and hobbies and other skills.

When you do date seriously it's nice to be able to utilize those skills with your partner. Suddenly talents like being able to make origami paper figures enriches note passing, or enriches a dinner date conversation.

Also being single right now at your age really take the emotional drama pressure off of being able to focus on school work for straight A's.

Also keep in mind many people meet their spouse during their college years too, so please don't feel too bad.

Desdemona
May 14th, 2017, 01:43 PM
Upperclassmen guys also tend to be much more forward and flirty than when I was in junior high too.

However I'm not in as small a town as you are, I'm sure that impacting your scenario and partly because guys are probably intimidated by your good looks.

If you are as attractive as you say, then most likely if you could read minds, tons of boys probably want you, but they don't know how to approach.


Another way to look at it is that during this time you can focus on yourself, your talents, and hobbies and other skills.

When you do date seriously it's nice to be able to utilize those skills with your partner. Suddenly talents like being able to make origami paper figures enriches note passing, or enriches a dinner date conversation.

Also being single right now at your age really take the emotional drama pressure off of being able to focus on school work for straight A's.

Also keep in mind many people meet their spouse during their college years too, so please don't feel too bad.

Thank you for writing this. It made me feel better! <3

Desdemona
May 14th, 2017, 01:53 PM
Pheonix is a good place to be. I was scared at first when I went to my high school, but you'll like it. Many more people.

Thanks for telling me. How old are you? Can I ask where in AZ you are from?

Sword of the morning
May 14th, 2017, 03:25 PM
Thanks for telling me. How old are you? Can I ask where in AZ you are from?
Sure, I'm 15 and I'm from San Manuel. May I ask the same from you.

Desdemona
May 14th, 2017, 03:54 PM
Sure, I'm 15 and I'm from San Manuel. May I ask the same from you.

I am 14 and I live in Yuma county. I don't want to be more specific because I really want to be anonymous. I hope you understand.

Do you live in Phoenix now?

/Desi

Uniquemind
May 14th, 2017, 04:06 PM
Might I add that it might be wise to ask yourself what you gain out of experiencing the dating experience?

Are you mature enough to not lose control to anger and irrational behavior if say you meet a boyfriend and then he cheats or some drama starts up?

These are all pre-prep things I advise people do before jumping into the arena of dating. The emotional power swings both ways and to manage that along with academics is hard. Even more hard is managing a job in high school, but that also opens up some social pathways to meet new people and possible love interests.

At the very least it allows you your own money for when you do date, so that way you have money for a ride home if you ever experience getting stood up or abandoned in a public place.


I'm glad you like my advice and took solace in it, I try to give as holistic advice as possible based on experiences of friends, myself, and in even some cases wisdom passed down by my parents from their generations. My takeaway is that humanity hasn't changed too much, only the technology.

JakeTaylor
May 14th, 2017, 04:13 PM
These are all pre-prep things I advise people do before jumping into the arena of dating. The emotional power swings both ways and to manage that along with academics is hard. Even more hard is managing a job in high school, but that also opens up some social pathways to meet new people and possible love interests.


That's some great advice.

All I can say is, just try to focus on yourself. Try to improve your confidence, and work hard at school. You're confident about your appearance, and that's great. Theres a whole lot of people who don't have that, so you're better off.

Secondly, I know this sounds really cliched but you're only 14. There's a lot of time. Any guy who's attracted to you just for your looks is not worth dating anyway.

You could pick up a sport or a hobby, maybe join classes. That'll help you meet people, build up your confidence and maybe find someone!

Sword of the morning
May 14th, 2017, 05:48 PM
I am 14 and I live in Yuma county. I don't want to be more specific because I really want to be anonymous. I hope you understand.

Do you live in Phoenix now?

/Desi
For a little while, I lived with my aunt during that time but I move back to my town.

ShilaFit
May 15th, 2017, 10:37 AM
That's some great advice.

All I can say is, just try to focus on yourself. Try to improve your confidence, and work hard at school. You're confident about your appearance, and that's great. Theres a whole lot of people who don't have that, so you're better off.

Secondly, I know this sounds really cliched but you're only 14. There's a lot of time. Any guy who's attracted to you just for your looks is not worth dating anyway.

You could pick up a sport or a hobby, maybe join classes. That'll help you meet people, build up your confidence and maybe find someone!

True, and first of all, the more you are searching for it, the less you find it..

Just relax and see you''l find it very soon :)

Beltane1001
May 15th, 2017, 10:45 AM
Focus on you. Find out what you enjoy. People have a way for sneaking up on us when we least expect it. If you are constantly looking and trying to be what the other person wants then no one will come.

MysticMarine
May 16th, 2017, 04:28 AM
I so want a boyfriend. I am good looking and have good grades and it still is like they never look at me. I get nervous when I talk to people, boys included, so I can never take the initiative. My dad says I'm only 14 and there is plenty of time yet, but if boys never talk to me it doesn't matter. I am jealous of my best friend who has been in a relationship for six months now and she tells me everything from what they do together to her having great sex. I could kill her out of envy when I hear that. I don't want to hear it. I want someone to be with and I want to have sex too and I'm so damn lonely living in a small shitsplat town in Arizona. I would be a good girlfriend. I am smart. I look good. And I am confident with my body. Why can't I find someone?

Sorry. I'm having a bad day today.
If your anxious to talk to them I suggest texting them and having a mutal relationship, get to know there personality online that's how I started to like people getting to know them first it doesn't have to be face to face! As things progress you'll start to notice a change in the relationship and go on from there... hope this helped good luck with finding someone :)

TheLivingLie
May 16th, 2017, 02:10 PM
You will get a boyfriend one day, I have been waiting for a relationship for 16 years (well maybe not since i was born but whatever). I too find myself awkward and bad at engaging in conversations with acquaintances, but sometimes you need to throw yourself outside your comfort zone, I did that with someone at the beginning of the year and it didn't end up in anything, but I guess it was an experience i will learn from

NerdSquared
May 16th, 2017, 05:58 PM
Not for lack of trying, I've never had a relationship, I've gotten close three times though. All I can suggest is don't despair when stuff goes badly for you on the dating front. New people always have a way of sneaking up on you. It doesn't seem possible, but it happens.

Emilyyy
May 18th, 2017, 05:50 PM
I often think the same to be honest, I seem to get overlooked a lot in favor of other girls but I'm sure our time will come, just keep the faith and the right boy will come round eventually. Though I do agree that seeing other girls happy with boys and you;re single is pretty lame!