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View Full Version : My heart and brain are tearing each other apart.


Nathan32
May 12th, 2017, 01:30 AM
Alright, so I am 19, I have a 18 year old girlfriend that I started a long distance with last year, so we have been together for a year and a few months and she managed to move from the country she was in, to my country where I am for uni.

The problem is she is still 5 hours away, and we have only been able to meet twice, the first time for a day, then she came and stayed with me for 8 days, and we had the best time, I was truly happy (I havnt felt that in years) but now she has gone back to uni.

Since she has left I have been having these weird feelings, like she is going behind my back, and if she isnt she wants to, and I know she isnt that type of girls, but when she is there and I am here and I know she is actively with other girls/guys it is hard to imagine, she is having a good time without me, and I have never been controlling or jealous or anything like this, I feel like she is making me into a cliche, and I dont think I can deal with this anxiety.

My brain is telling me to leave her to protect myself, but my heart truly feels for this girl, it keeps telling me shes the one. What do I do? Why do I feel like this?

Chaosphere
May 12th, 2017, 02:18 AM
It's just fear of the unknown, from what I can surmise. You don't know what she's up to so far away, and because you care about her, you get nervous that she might feel the way you do, but for someone else. I wouldn't leave her just yet, as you haven't elaborated on any solid evidence that you should. Maybe find a way to visit her at Uni so you can see a sort of, "cross section," of her life, see how she interacts with people, and if anyone's trying to make a move towards her. Until you have a concrete reason to leave her, I would push through the uncertainty. The best way to alleviate your anxiety would be to see her again, and to see what it is that she's dealing with in her daily life. Usually I recommend that people follow their heads and not their hearts, but in this case I'll make an exception.

MysticMarine
May 16th, 2017, 04:34 AM
Alright, so I am 19, I have a 18 year old girlfriend that I started a long distance with last year, so we have been together for a year and a few months and she managed to move from the country she was in, to my country where I am for uni.

The problem is she is still 5 hours away, and we have only been able to meet twice, the first time for a day, then she came and stayed with me for 8 days, and we had the best time, I was truly happy (I havnt felt that in years) but now she has gone back to uni.

Since she has left I have been having these weird feelings, like she is going behind my back, and if she isnt she wants to, and I know she isnt that type of girls, but when she is there and I am here and I know she is actively with other girls/guys it is hard to imagine, she is having a good time without me, and I have never been controlling or jealous or anything like this, I feel like she is making me into a cliche, and I dont think I can deal with this anxiety.

My brain is telling me to leave her to protect myself, but my heart truly feels for this girl, it keeps telling me shes the one. What do I do? Why do I feel like this?

I haven't ever had an internet relationship so really I should not be giving you advice but I'd like to rebel and give you some anyways haha! I think a healthy relationship means talking a lot and giving each other the same amount of love and attention you both have to give equal amount of affection. What I mean is that she might even feel the same way about you it's going to be caught up in your mind until you do something about it, try and talk with her you can even be vague with the matter just try and reach out to her about your feelings if she cares for you as much as you do for her surely she'll understand.

Hope this helps,

Marine

jamie_n5
May 16th, 2017, 07:52 PM
I think that the distance is what's bothering you. It is making you think things that most likely aren't true. If she is still texting and talking to you you must know she still cares. Imagine the people in the service that get shipped over seas for months on end. People in those relationships make it through most of the time. You just need to deal with your feelings. If you have big doubts then break it off and start looking for someone else. There is no sense in being miserable.