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Inflation26
May 2nd, 2017, 07:19 AM
Last week was springbreak where I live. It was also my birthday and a national holiday. The result: I've been partying for a week straight without stopping.

On wednesday my friends and I went to a party at out local bar. It was very busy and basically every person that I know and am friends with was there.
Most of my friends left early, but a few of us stayed untill close. There was also a girl that hangs out with us from time to time. I was talking to her and dancing with her and one thing lead to another and we made out. Not a big deal, that happens more often.

The next day was a national holiday and my friends and I went to a music festival. The night before we found out that another group of friends was also going so went together. This included the girl I kissed the night before. I kind of stayed away from her a little bit because if I am honest I was pretty drunk when I kissed her and I was a little embarrased.

But as the day went on I got more tipsy and a little drunk again. After the festival finished my friend, his girlfriend and me and the girl decided to go into the city to get some drinks and as you can see coming I kissed the girl again.

And again the next night...

The thing is, eventhough I kissed her on three occasions, I am not that much into her. I mean I like her and all, but she is not really my type, for a relationship. My friend just texted me asking if I am into her, because she is really into me according to his girlfriend who is best friends with the girl I kissed.

There is one detail I left out. There is another girl that I have been talking to for a few weeks that I actually am into and she is into me as well. She came over to my house yesterday and we had dinner and stuff.

I feel like a total ass hole right now because I am not the kind of person to lead a girl on or to be seeing two girls at the same time, it just kind of happened this way and I am not sure how to deal with it. I am pretty sure I am going to be dating the second girl fairly soon, but I really really don't want to hurt the girl I kissed because I do care for her and we are close friends, I just don't want to be in a relationship with her.

Friday is another national holiday and I am going to another music festival with the same group of friends. Except this time both girls are coming...
Should I talk to the girl I kissed about everything or should I just steer cleer of both girls this friday? I don't know what to do, never been in this situation before...

SethfromMI
May 2nd, 2017, 08:52 AM
Last week was springbreak where I live. It was also my birthday and a national holiday. The result: I've been partying for a week straight without stopping.

On wednesday my friends and I went to a party at out local bar. It was very busy and basically every person that I know and am friends with was there.
Most of my friends left early, but a few of us stayed untill close. There was also a girl that hangs out with us from time to time. I was talking to her and dancing with her and one thing lead to another and we made out. Not a big deal, that happens more often.

The next day was a national holiday and my friends and I went to a music festival. The night before we found out that another group of friends was also going so went together. This included the girl I kissed the night before. I kind of stayed away from her a little bit because if I am honest I was pretty drunk when I kissed her and I was a little embarrased.

But as the day went on I got more tipsy and a little drunk again. After the festival finished my friend, his girlfriend and me and the girl decided to go into the city to get some drinks and as you can see coming I kissed the girl again.

And again the next night...

The thing is, eventhough I kissed her on three occasions, I am not that much into her. I mean I like her and all, but she is not really my type, for a relationship. My friend just texted me asking if I am into her, because she is really into me according to his girlfriend who is best friends with the girl I kissed.

There is one detail I left out. There is another girl that I have been talking to for a few weeks that I actually am into and she is into me as well. She came over to my house yesterday and we had dinner and stuff.

I feel like a total ass hole right now because I am not the kind of person to lead a girl on or to be seeing two girls at the same time, it just kind of happened this way and I am not sure how to deal with it. I am pretty sure I am going to be dating the second girl fairly soon, but I really really don't want to hurt the girl I kissed because I do care for her and we are close friends, I just don't want to be in a relationship with her.

Friday is another national holiday and I am going to another music festival with the same group of friends. Except this time both girls are coming...
Should I talk to the girl I kissed about everything or should I just steer cleer of both girls this friday? I don't know what to do, never been in this situation before...

Well my friend, if she is interested in you and you're not interested in her it is only fair to be honest with her. I would explain it to her as gently as possible, apologize if she felt you led her to believe you were interested in her and try to make her feel as good as possible. but it is not fair for her to think your into her. I am not saying you should feel bad, I know people sometimes do things they normally wouldn't do when they're drunk. but I would def clear things up, particularly if you want to pursue the other girl. I am not sure if I would say I only made out with you because I was drunk, but then again, maybe that would help her to understand. It is a delicate situation. it is going to be awkward. but it will have to be addressed at some point, considering she seems to be often in a group you hang out with.

there is no way to know how she will respond. but it is one of those things you just have to do and then deal with what happens after. so just remember try to be gentle, understanding, and honest in all of this.

Inflation26
May 2nd, 2017, 10:45 AM
Thanks Seth, I kinda knew what the answer was gonna be but I needed someone to tell me.

btw I didn't just kiss her because I was drunk. I was feeling pretty lonely the past weeks and I guess her attention made me feel comfortable

SethfromMI
May 2nd, 2017, 12:28 PM
Thanks Seth, I kinda knew what the answer was gonna be but I needed someone to tell me.

btw I didn't just kiss her because I was drunk. I was feeling pretty lonely the past weeks and I guess her attention made me feel comfortable

no problem my friend, I am always here to help. and what you said can most certainly be part of your explanation. In fact, I hope it is part of the explanation of what you tell her. Not only is it the truth, but it is something most people can understand. we all get lonely and we all like to be paid attention to. again, I cannot guarantee how she is going to respond, but I think that will go a long way in helping her to understand what happened. all you can do is try. at the end of the day, even if she does not take it the best, it is not like you can stick with someone your not into just to make her feel better. or if you try, it is going to end up with disastrous results.

Best of luck my friend!

Remora
May 2nd, 2017, 02:52 PM
with all these national holidays i'm beginning to think you're Dutch

as much as whatever you're going to do at this point is going to come across as a dick move to someone, i think it'd be best to be honest with the girl that you're not into before you lead her on any further and then try to get together with the girl you're into.

It's not pretty, but it's only going to get worse if you don't do something now.

jamie_n5
May 2nd, 2017, 06:13 PM
The best thing that you can do is talk to the girl you kissed and tell her the truth. Tell her that you like her as a friend and that you were drinking a lot those times and made a mistake and apologize to her and tell her you never intended to hurt her and of course you find her attractive and nice but want be friends and not in a relationship.

Inflation26
May 3rd, 2017, 10:31 AM
with all these national holidays i'm beginning to think you're Dutch

as much as whatever you're going to do at this point is going to come across as a dick move to someone, i think it'd be best to be honest with the girl that you're not into before you lead her on any further and then try to get together with the girl you're into.

It's not pretty, but it's only going to get worse if you don't do something now.

You're right. I am Dutch. How was your Koningsdag? ;)

So last night I spoke to the girl I kissed. She wanted to know "what we are at this point" and I told her that I did like her in some way but that I did not want to pursue anything with her.

I thought I was pretty clear but somehow she completely ignored my rejection and said "we'll just take it slow and see where things lead to and if it works out between us".

I guess I am gonna need to have another conversation with her, face to face this time

Remora
May 3rd, 2017, 10:45 AM
You're right. I am Dutch. How was your Koningsdag? ;)
I guess I am gonna need to have another conversation with her, face to face this time

I didn't celebrate it- there's no days off in nursing :(

You told her you didn't want to pursue a relationship - if she chooses to ignore that then that's her mistake. As much as i doubt she'll realize that, you've said what you had to say and she chose to ignore it. If she throws a "leading me on" tantrum when you see her again and try to make it clearer, remind her of what you said before and how she chose not to listen.