PDA

View Full Version : Advice for those without "labels" and those who maybe don't even want them.


Deleted User
April 26th, 2017, 12:42 PM
Okay, so it's been awhile since I've posted around here or (gasp) made an actual thread but I made a post on most of my social media surrounding sexuality and labels after there was a bit of controversy going around. I wanted to share it here too just in case it helps anyone.

For some reason this has become relevant in a few communities I'm a part of lately:

You don't have to know your sexuality. You don't have to have a name for it if you're not sure. You could be a lesbian or an aromantic pansexual for all you know but you don't HAVE to put any name on it if you don't feel like you're sure or even if labels feel right to you. You are still LGBT+ or queer, or whatever you feel comfortable using.

Do not assume that because someone chooses to keep their sexuality private or still feel unsure or have only just started experimenting that they are any less LBGT+/queer. DO NOT assume that they are straight by default.

Not everyone knows. Frankly, I don't know and I'm in my 20s. I went through a number of names and labels in high school just trying to fit in. I may still not know in my 30s and it's okay to just go with how you feel rather than the wording you choose to describe it.

Straight is not the default. Human is.

I feel this is important and especially for young teens to know that IT IS OKAY if you don't know what your sexuality is. IT IS OKAY if you're posting here asking "am I _____?" and feeling unsure.

If you are curious or experimenting, that is okay too. If you think you might somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum but don't have the words for it, it's really not that important to know the exact terminology. The only time you should feel like labels are important is if it's right for you, not anyone else.

And on the flip side, if you're straight after all, that's cool too. Take pride in the fact you were open to the idea that "maybe I'm not". You don't have to know right away... or ever. I know labels make people feel comfortable but if you haven't found yours yet or think that you never will, THAT IS OKAY.

Same goes for gender as well as sexuality, I just didn't cover that. Same sentiment, just replace "sexuality" with "gender" instead.

Hope this might help someone or at least give someone a little faith that you're still normal even if you haven't figured it out just yet.

jamie_n5
April 26th, 2017, 08:43 PM
Thanks for your thread. I think it will help out a lot of people.

Jordanchill
May 6th, 2017, 08:19 PM
Well said, sometimes it is best to just go with the flow of what feels right and if that means putting labels to the side, so be it.

Beltane1001
May 14th, 2017, 10:21 PM
People get way too hung up about what little box they fit into.

I say, just like what you like and don't worry about being part of a group or subset or clique.