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View Full Version : Couldn't do it.


Phosphene
April 24th, 2017, 08:52 PM
I can't count how many opportunities I've had recently to come out as bisexual and couldn't do it. Many have been with people I'd consider friends but not close friends, more like casual friends. I just can't get up the nerve and I don't really trust them to know that about me. I feel like one of them in particular would try to use this to her own advantage as she confessed having a crush on me in the past before I realized I was bisexual. I also have a major crush on this girl who I spent the whole weekend with on a trip... she and I had some somewhat alone time at one point with some physical contact involved (nothing sexual). I just about exploded not having the nerve to tell her how I feel about her, but I don't want anyone else to know at this point in time.

It's just so frustrating having all these chances and not using them you know. I have no one that knows who I can talk with about this so yeah I thought I may as well put it out in the open here.

SethfromMI
April 24th, 2017, 09:30 PM
it is hard for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. for me, I was able to start with a couple and then the more comfortable it became the easier it was for me to just say it (not that I was personally shy about it really to begin with). for a lot of people, it is incredibly difficult.

I think you said though you just don't want anyone else to know at this time? well that might be your answer for you right now. if it is not the right time in your life to tell people, it is simply not the right time in your life to tell people. there is nothing set in stone you have to do it by a certain age. if you feel your ready, try telling your closest friend one day. until the day your ready though, do not rush for anyone. I realize it is a struggle for you, but once you put it out there, it is out there, so try not to beat yourself up about not being ready to tell yet

Phosphene
April 25th, 2017, 06:59 PM
it is hard for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. for me, I was able to start with a couple and then the more comfortable it became the easier it was for me to just say it (not that I was personally shy about it really to begin with). for a lot of people, it is incredibly difficult.

I think you said though you just don't want anyone else to know at this time? well that might be your answer for you right now. if it is not the right time in your life to tell people, it is simply not the right time in your life to tell people. there is nothing set in stone you have to do it by a certain age. if you feel your ready, try telling your closest friend one day. until the day your ready though, do not rush for anyone. I realize it is a struggle for you, but once you put it out there, it is out there, so try not to beat yourself up about not being ready to tell yet

Thanks, I think you're right. So many of my classmates are open about the sexuality and gender they identify as, but I just can't. It makes me wish I could be more open tbh. For example, I'll hear other people talking freely about their crushes and I think, Why am I not comfortable doing that, too?

Oh and I forgot to mention my best friend does know. I told her a few weeks ago but I don't feel like I can be open with her about it. She said she won't think of me differently because we're so close, but nonetheless she doesn't support it.

Brightwolf
April 25th, 2017, 11:13 PM
I'm sorry Amethyst. The only reason that people know about me is that they found out from my former crush, that or they looked at my phone or something...I honestly wish people didn't know...it was a lot easier when I could just keep my feelings to myself, less bullying...ha, and people wonder why I don't talk much.

SethfromMI
April 26th, 2017, 06:39 AM
Thanks, I think you're right. So many of my classmates are open about the sexuality and gender they identify as, but I just can't. It makes me wish I could be more open tbh. For example, I'll hear other people talking freely about their crushes and I think, Why am I not comfortable doing that, too?

Oh and I forgot to mention my best friend does know. I told her a few weeks ago but I don't feel like I can be open with her about it. She said she won't think of me differently because we're so close, but nonetheless she doesn't support it.

that is a bummer situation :(. I have some friends who won't support it on religious reasons (which I totally understand) but that makes it tough if you can't talk to her about it.

I hope I am not sounding too cliche about this but try to hang in there. Hopefully when you transition into college or where ever life is going to take you, you will be in an environment where you will fell more comfortable about being yourself and won't feel you have to hide it as much. not that it can't happen where you are now, but I know it is going to be more of a struggle and battle

jamie_n5
April 26th, 2017, 08:52 PM
Don't worry about coming out. You will know and feel when the time is right. Anyway no one says that you have to come out at all. Just enjoy your life and sexuality.