View Full Version : Complex Situation

April 20th, 2017, 09:18 PM
There's a girl I used to talk to about 9 month ago. First real love ever.

To me she's the most beautiful girl in the world. She's Korean, has the biggest cheeks, goes to one of the top 10 high schools in the nation, is smart, kind, etc, etc. I can spend hours talking about her.

We were probably about three days away from me asking her out as in prior, we have been talking for about 2 months at this point. Been on a few dates, talked from 6 AM to 2 AM everynight; it was basically a "perfect situation". I've actually been searching for her for 2 years because I came across her at the library in my school, but was too much of a pussy as I was a fat and ugly freshman lol, and I thought I could never get with her. When I finally found her, we hit off amazingly and both of our schools were shocked as 1) her school is the "nerd school" and nobody dates there because of schoolwork. 2) everyone at my school just thought I was straight up gay due to me dressing well and having only girl friends.

Long story short, 3 days away from asking her out. The conversation of gender and sexuality came up. I said pansexuality wasn't valid (I was very ignorant at the time, and I apologize for any offense I may of given any of you. It is legitimate and I recognize that now.) Well..she was pan sexual but never told me so I gave her the ultimate offense and I told her to calm down and come to me when you're okay (I even told her it's okay if she doesn't come back because I COMPLETELY understand her perspective.) In reality, I never told her I was bi and that she was pan so were both hiding something. I came out to her to show her I understand what she means and I was truly sorry. No response; expected.

She started drama on social media and my friends told me to subtweet her back and I did (biggest mistake I've made, trust me) and later that night, I had 10 of her friends personally attack me on my religion, looks, relationship, sexuality etc. I calmly replied back saying it's a personal thing between me and her, and an hour later, she wrote a 3 page essay on why I was a terrible person, exposing me to hundreds of people, and therefore, ending our relationship.

I was never mad. I'm still in love with her. She despises me (or at least I think). If I didn't say that one thing, it would've been 9 months now we've been dating. I personally believe to treat other's with respect no matter what the situation is so I sent her a Christmas present and birthday note. There was no intention of me trying to convince her to come back to me, it was just meant to be a nice gesture. I still love her, she's the only girl I will ever love in high school (I tried to date other girls to get her out of my head, failed.)

Should I keep trying? Should I talk to her? (There's some hope because she's no longer angry at me and her friends like and talk to me now.) Anything would be great and highly appreciated.

Thank you for your time. :-)

April 25th, 2017, 04:00 PM
Go for it man. Try apologizing to her. But don't bring up relationships when you do. Let that happen naturally.

April 25th, 2017, 07:57 PM
I don't know at this point is the real right thing. I definitely think you have learned your lesson on not speaking about controversial subjects until you know someone fairly well.
You could try sending her a nice long letter telling her how ignorant you feel and how you have definitely learn from that big stupid mistake. Tell her you really care so much for her and want to make up for your mistake and try things over. Hope you can find her again.