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colorfulights
April 18th, 2017, 10:42 PM
Hi. Thanks to anyone reading this and and replies.
So my antidepressants aren't helping much anymore. I contemplate my reasons to live fairly often now. Of course I know I would never commit suicide and leave my mom, but there isn't really anything else holding me back so it's a reacurring thought. So what I'm trying to say is, I'm going to keep trudging through life for a long time and I guess I should probably care about things to make it a little better, but I don't anymore. I don't care about my weight (I eat too often and too much junk), my appearance, having good grades, having friends, etc. I don't care about anything but isolating myself further from everyone and everything. The only thing I participante in I want to quit. All I want to do is finish high school in an online school. But what would I do after that? I can't hide forever.
I also feel like I don't deserve friends anymore. I don't have many so I can't tell if it's me or them that's being a bad friend. I either expect too much from them or they're not that great. Even if I figured it out I'd still feel like shit all the time.
What do i do? Do I tell my counselor this even if I won't kill myself? How do I care again?

NathanFloGrown
April 18th, 2017, 10:52 PM
Alright. So you say that...you don't care about anything...But Think REALLY HARD about who you love. You said you wouldn't leave your mom. You're mom...Your mamma is the 2nd most important person in your life. The 1st most important person is YOU my friend.

You.

I helped someone a little bit with this earlier. I gave them this example. Its about perseverance. this is the example I gave.


Think of a Soldier.

A soldier who is the last man standing in his/her battalion. The soldier has no one, no ammo, no water, no comrades, not anything except a rock and their own self. There are 2 ways to go. You can give up...and do nothing about it and be weak, or you can overcome an obstacle that you are facing. So, with no water or any other soldiers, this soldier is shot in the leg and cannot walk. The soldier has a rock in his/her hand. What the soldier then does is throw their arm as far as they can and draw a line in the dirt and say to themselves, "If I can make it to that point. I have succeeded." So, the soldier crawls over the line. Then the soldier throws his/her arm again and draws another line and says the same thing. This goes on for quite sometime and soon after the soldier is saved.

The point of this is to set a small goal for yourself. Once you reach that goal. Make a new one that is going to be easy. then keep doing it. cause in the end it leads to something greater.

You don't have to kill yourself? What good is that gonna bring you my friend? Heres how you care.

You live for your mom!

And I'm sure that you are a smart person. You will make the right decision but...Ask yourself. Is you not caring about yourself a good enough excuse to destroy your mom's world? Your mom and MANY others love you...It's not worth it.

Hope I helped a tiny bit. <3

colorfulights
April 18th, 2017, 10:58 PM
Thanks that actually helped a lot and I'm not sure why. I'll make sure to remember this

NathanFloGrown
April 18th, 2017, 11:02 PM
Thanks that actually helped a lot and I'm not sure why. I'll make sure to remember this

That makes me glad. I am so honored to help you in any way! Perseverance leads to greatness! My friend, you have just crossed your first line! Now, set another goal for yourself. :yummy:

Amethyst Rose
April 19th, 2017, 06:27 PM
Having no motivation really sucks, I have been there before. Think about the bigger picture and maybe you will realize how significant these things you don't care about are. Your grades can impact your future; put aside your lack of motivation and tell me, if you could pursue anything you wanted after high school, what would it be? And your weight - you will feel so much better eating healthier and being more active and will avoid potential health problems that can come with being overweight.

By all means, talk to your counselor. He/she needs to know what you're thinking and feeling. And if you feel comfortable, talk to your mom. It's clear you care about her a lot and I'm sure she'd appreciate you opening up to her.

Getting more motivation won't happen overnight. Just take it step by step, set small goals and when you reach those, use that satisfaction to strive for larger goals. I wish you the best.