View Full Version : Need help coming out to stepdad and grandparents

April 11th, 2017, 09:46 PM
As the title states, I need help with coming out to my "stepdad" and my grandparents. I identify as Female when everyone else sees me as Male because that's what I was assigned at birth. However, my "stepdad" and my grandparents are christian and the main thing I fear is that upon coming out, my mom and I might get kicked out with no place to go (my mom knows already). The reason I put stepdad in quotations is because he isn't married to my mom but they are in such a strong relationship that he might as well be my stepdad. I'm just getting tired of my mom being forced to use the incorrect terms out of fear of being heard by the members who don't know. (That and my little sis is so young she wouldn't understand.). Can anyone please offer any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

Just JT
April 14th, 2017, 06:16 AM
Do step dad and grandpa do/say things that would make you believe they'd kick all 3 of you out like that?
With no place to go?
And a younger sister at what age?
That might be illegal itself.

Even if that's what they would do, what I'd say I'd don't tell them. And live your life as you see fit. You don't need to come out to anyone for any reason. If they just assume your straight and not keeping an open mind enough that you may not be straight that only proves their own ignorance. You have no responsibility to anyone to come out and profess your sexual orientation. That's private for you and who you choose to share with

Mom keeping it it under hat? Well that might be tricky yeah, but not impossible if she wants to. I think I'd maybe probe the topic first a bit and see how they feel about it

Plenty of Christians are very open and accepting of all sexual orientations. What denomination church do you attend?

April 14th, 2017, 03:20 PM
They don't outright say they would remove us from the household, but it's a strong possibility as they have threatened to once before for an unrelated reason (disrespect/talking back, but that was years ago), and as for a little more clarification about my little sister, I meant she might be confused about her brother becoming her sister; that's all. I really do care about her. She's 12 right now but mentally, she's 7; hence my fear that she'd be so confused. She doesn't even know what "transgender" means, nor does she know something like that exists. All she knows is that there are boys and there are girls. Something like a boy becoming a girl might confuse the hell out of her. As for churches, we don't go to any churches truthfully; they praise god on their own time (personally, I'm not religious, but that's irrelevant).

The main reasoning for my fear of being kicked out is because my grandparents are VERY old fashioned. The way they grew up, kids were to be seen and not heard, and their parents were very strict with religion (or so I've heard). I myself once read a portion of the bible. One thing I remember was god destroying a city (or was it the world in the genesis portion, I have no idea) and one of the main reasons was to eliminate lesbians and homosexuals; unless I was reading a really fucked up version of the bible. Of course, I could be just a little too paranoid, but I have no idea how to approach them with something like this.

April 16th, 2017, 08:44 PM
Well if you are sure about things you need to start hormone therapy soon so you won't grow a beard and it will stop your male puberty. If your mom intends to stay in the relationship they have to find out some way. If they are super strict Christians then he and your mom shouldn't be living together either.

Just JT
April 16th, 2017, 09:12 PM
A lot of the Bible can be interpreted, so don't hang on that.
As for your sister, then hey just don't intentionally expose her to shit. But questions will come up. So just answer those questions Ina way that satisfy her questions, and she'll think about that.

As for your living situation, I'd talk to mom more. At some point in your life you'll need to make a decision on something. It's a matter of when and how that all impact shit

I'd try dropping subtle hints for topics of discussion that don't bring attention to you. Watch for their responce. Go from there

April 24th, 2017, 03:19 PM
Thanks, I might just try that. Also, in response to Jamie n, do you happen to know if hormones would help make my voice more high pitched, or will I need to do that myself?