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Kooy
April 4th, 2017, 01:45 PM
I don't know if this is where i post this or not

Okay as I mentioned before, i been in pro suicide, pro self harm and pro ana sites, as well as cutting buddy chats. Sparing you guys the sadististic manner of those places i will say it's because of them I still have self worth issues and find it vary hard to trust help sites. i still find myself trying log back on now and then. If my friend hadn't chaned my passwords I probably be on a different site being told how uslessles i am. I don't understand why I want to go back. They get to know you on nearly an intimate level but thats only to make there words hurt so they can get results. Its not a real friendship and I didn't see that untill last week. They would tell me that people who don't want me to cut are just trying to manipulate me. Thats the only thing i can get away with saying here. Everything they said made me tariffed to use a crisis number in fear of cops getting called. They convinced me any help site is just there to brainwash people. Ironic isn't it.

There the reason i feel I always feel I deserve someone yelling at me. I deserve every insult i get. I'm not good enough and I can't make my self better because im to far broken. I my life waiting for the day i just didn't wake up. They told me to how deep and how many and i seen it as the punishment indeserved for existing..

It's confusing not being on there and being told not to do anything anymore.

Amethyst Rose
April 4th, 2017, 06:23 PM
Kooy I assure you nothing like that will ever go on here, and if it does, it will be taken care of. You matter just as much as anyone else, and you should never feel otherwise. Don't listen to people who only want to fuel your sadness and make your problems woose. At the same time remember that if you don't want to get a hold on your problems and refuse to do anything to help yourself, that can make others reluctant to help you. I genuinely want you to feel safe here ok? There's nothing and no one to be afraid of.

Kooy
April 5th, 2017, 02:02 PM
Kooy I assure you nothing like that will ever go on here, and if it does, it will be taken care of. You matter just as much as anyone else, and you should never feel otherwise. Don't listen to people who only want to fuel your sadness and make your problems woose. At the same time remember that if you don't want to get a hold on your problems and refuse to do anything to help yourself, that can make others reluctant to help you. I genuinely want you to feel safe here ok? There's nothing and no one to be afraid of.

Alright, and thank you. I just don't want to be seen as looking for attention.

And i have pushed everyone I knew from the sites away. I'm in s wired situation because everything feels different.

Amethyst Rose
April 5th, 2017, 06:00 PM
Alright, and thank you. I just don't want to be seen as looking for attention.

And i have pushed everyone I knew from the sites away. I'm in s wired situation because everything feels different.

You're welcome :) focusing on if you look like you just want attention will stop you from getting the support you need, so don't worry about that. Everyone wants and needs attention. There's no reason to be ashamed of that.

Kooy
April 5th, 2017, 10:03 PM
You're welcome :) focusing on if you look like you just want attention will stop you from getting the support you need, so don't worry about that. Everyone wants and needs attention. There's no reason to be ashamed of that.

I guess that's true. I suppose im just use to a different type of attention and not getting. I don't know, I don't know what to say now but i feel like inhave more. I guess I'll leave off with im starting ease down a bit.

BlackParadePixie
April 6th, 2017, 02:29 PM
The people here are much more constructive and supportive, as far as I have seen. We don't want you feeling those bad, negative feelings. I think everyone has worth, and good qualities...even if you don't know it, maybe people here can help you find them :)

Kooy
April 7th, 2017, 09:49 PM
The people here are much more constructive and supportive, as far as I have seen. We don't want you feeling those bad, negative feelings. I think everyone has worth, and good qualities...even if you don't know it, maybe people here can help you find them :)

Cant make messages till 100 post

BlackParadePixie
April 7th, 2017, 10:42 PM
Cant make messages till 100 post
oh, did you mean the "feel free to message me" post? That's just part of my sig. It shows up in every post I make.

Kooy
April 12th, 2017, 05:58 PM
oh, did you mean the "feel free to message me" post? That's just part of my sig. It shows up in every post I make.

Now i see that, heh. I have no idea how tired i was then

BlackParadePixie
April 12th, 2017, 06:40 PM
Now i see that, heh. I have no idea how tired i was then

it's ok. no worries :)