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View Full Version : Is it normal for a parent to say this?


Brightwolf
April 1st, 2017, 01:12 PM
When my mother gets angry at me she tells me that she wants to hurt me in some way (like slap usually). Is that normal? She never does anything, except maybe a few times, but It really makes me feel bad about myself and worthless. It's really the words that hurt more than any physical pain that could be inflicted on me...any advice?

Bmble_B
April 1st, 2017, 01:14 PM
Well it depends on who you ask. But if she never acts on the threats I guess it's okay.

ClaraWho
April 1st, 2017, 02:09 PM
Sounds rather juvenile a thing to say. I guess the older you get the more flawed you realise your parents are as people. You can't pick who gave birth to you...

~ Clara

Babs
April 1st, 2017, 08:15 PM
No, absolutely not.

clobo
April 2nd, 2017, 02:17 AM
My mum doesn't say anything like that even when I am being a complete pain and getting on her nerves.

Just JT
April 2nd, 2017, 12:38 PM
My guess is you mighta done something to piss her off. And she's trying to let you know that. It I also agree with the other posters to. My mom never said she was going to or wanted to hit me, she just did it without warning. Think I'd like a warning tbh

But also, think about it. Abuse comes in many forms. Emotional/psychological abuse I think is the worst. Those wounds never heal. And threatening someone with bodily harm or pain or something I'd say is a kinda abuse.

You might wana tell mom how that makes you feel. And she'll probably tell you to not do that thing that pisses her off again. If that happens then I guess that'll be a good thing cause you be takin' and not pissing each other off

I wouldn't say it's normal, but probably pretty common. Making your kid feel like that is just shitty

Brightwolf
April 2nd, 2017, 04:15 PM
My guess is you mighta done something to piss her off. And she's trying to let you know that. It I also agree with the other posters to. My mom never said she was going to or wanted to hit me, she just did it without warning. Think I'd like a warning tbh

But also, think about it. Abuse comes in many forms. Emotional/psychological abuse I think is the worst. Those wounds never heal. And threatening someone with bodily harm or pain or something I'd say is a kinda abuse.

You might wana tell mom how that makes you feel. And she'll probably tell you to not do that thing that pisses her off again. If that happens then I guess that'll be a good thing cause you be takin' and not pissing each other off

I wouldn't say it's normal, but probably pretty common. Making your kid feel like that is just shitty

Yeah, I haven't told her how it makes me feel. I'll try that next time. Thanks JT.

messid
April 2nd, 2017, 11:57 PM
If you wanna talk to her about it it might be better if you do it when shes not angry in the moment...when i visited my aunt last summer she used to say things like that when she got angry, but when i tried to talk to her about it and how it made me and my cousin feel, she got even more angry. i decided to wait till the next day when she was feeling better and everyone was in a good mood and she was way more open and said that she'd work on it :-) so it can get better

Just JT
April 3rd, 2017, 03:10 AM
If you wanna talk to her about it it might be better if you do it when shes not angry in the moment...when i visited my aunt last summer she used to say things like that when she got angry, but when i tried to talk to her about it and how it made me and my cousin feel, she got even more angry. i decided to wait till the next day when she was feeling better and everyone was in a good mood and she was way more open and said that she'd work on it :-) so it can get better

Good point man....

Harrier
April 4th, 2017, 08:14 PM
She shouldn't say that. Ideally everything a parent says to their kids should be positive. On the other hand you can learn to respect her honesty if you can get past it hurting your feelings. Try to take the emotion out of it and tell her you're sorry you make her feel that way. I know that's hard and doing that eould actually make you more mature than her. OR yoy could be honest and tell her how that makes you feel and tell her you're trying to be the best child you can be.

Brightwolf
April 4th, 2017, 08:16 PM
She shouldn't say that. Ideally everything a parent says to their kids should be positive. On the other hand you can learn to respect her honesty if you can get past it hurting your feelings. Try to take the emotion out of it and tell her you're sorry you make her feel that way. I know that's hard and doing that eould actually make you more mature than her. OR yoy could be honest and tell her how that makes you feel and tell her you're trying to be the best child you can be.

Thanks, I'll have to try to get past it hurting my feelings.

Harrier
April 4th, 2017, 08:31 PM
Thanks, I'll have to try to get past it hurting my feelings.

As long as you know she loves you that's the main thing. If you know that then ya it's all about managing your emotions.

Brightwolf
April 4th, 2017, 08:38 PM
As long as you know she loves you that's the main thing. If you know that then ya it's all about managing your emotions.

Yeah. Thanks for the advice.

JakeyZ
April 12th, 2017, 05:35 AM
Some parents do that. As long as she never actually hits you I don't think it's a problem unless it REALLY upsets you