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View Full Version : I've had enough.


Amethyst Rose
March 25th, 2017, 11:45 AM
I just don't know what to do anymore. My sister's attitude is getting out of control, more so than it ever has before. I made a post about her months ago and it's only gotten worse. She has such a negative attitude and expects everyone to put up with it. She has no respect, manners, or consideration for anyone but herself. Every day I wake up and know that it's going to be the same as the day before: parents try to get her out of bed and ready for the day; she has no motivation and wants to be an asshole; they get angry; this cycle kind of ebbs and flows throughout the day, sometimes better than others and some worse; I just do whatever I'm doing and try to not let it affect me. But it does. It's so hard to stay positive when everyone around me isn't, and who's fault is that? My sister's. I'm sick and tired of this. And do not say it's a phase - it's not. It's been going on far too long for it to be dismissed as that. I mainly just needed to vent but if anyone has suggestions I'd welcome those too.

Mars
March 25th, 2017, 01:11 PM
A lot of the time this happens because of a personal or internal problem that they have. Lots of times symptoms like mood swings, lack of motivation, and temper issues are related to depression.I'd just recommend being there for her as a positive influence and trying to get her into a healthier path in life. For example, introducing her into topics or hobbies she may be interested in; talking to her more; recommending music or movies; or just whatever you can to get her into something that can't really be negatively taken.

Even if she is older than you (idk her age), being a good sibling is the best thing you can do, even if she is a dick.

My brother used to be like this a lot when he started high school. He skipped school a lot, got shitty grades, was rude to our parents, etc. etc. He didn't really have anyone to talk to because I was younger and our parents weren't really "there" for us. He went and did illegal shit and it had gotten pretty bad. The next year, his sophomore year, he switched schools, made friends, got a girlfriend, and was in general a better person because of that.

At the end of the day, people just want someone to talk to and be with. Negative and asshole-ish attitudes come from feeling like you don't have that a majority of the time.

Not trying to say that you aren't there for her or anything, because overall family is family right? But maybe subtly showing her that, and trying to put her into a healthier and more positive lifestyle would help.

I wasn't there for my brother because I was younger and didn't realise what was wrong until later when I was older. I used to think things like "Oh why's he such a dick? What happened to him to make him like that?" because I didn't realise what was wrong with our lives until years later. So yeah, again, try to help her out even though it isn't necessarily "your responsibility".

Amethyst Rose
March 25th, 2017, 01:23 PM
A lot of the time this happens because of a personal or internal problem that they have. Lots of times symptoms like mood swings, lack of motivation, and temper issues are related to depression.I'd just recommend being there for her as a positive influence and trying to get her into a healthier path in life. For example, introducing her into topics or hobbies she may be interested in; talking to her more; recommending music or movies; or just whatever you can to get her into something that can't really be negatively taken.

Even if she is older than you (idk her age), being a good sibling is the best thing you can do, even if she is a dick.

My brother used to be like this a lot when he started high school. He skipped school a lot, got shitty grades, was rude to our parents, etc. etc. He didn't really have anyone to talk to because I was younger and our parents weren't really "there" for us. He went and did illegal shit and it had gotten pretty bad. The next year, his sophomore year, he switched schools, made friends, got a girlfriend, and was in general a better person because of that.

At the end of the day, people just want someone to talk to and be with. Negative and asshole-ish attitudes come from feeling like you don't have that a majority of the time.

Not trying to say that you aren't there for her or anything, because overall family is family right? But maybe subtly showing her that, and trying to put her into a healthier and more positive lifestyle would help.

I wasn't there for my brother because I was younger and didn't realise what was wrong until later when I was older. I used to think things like "Oh why's he such a dick? What happened to him to make him like that?" because I didn't realise what was wrong with our lives until years later. So yeah, again, try to help her out even though it isn't necessarily "your responsibility".

Thanks for your reply. I forgot to mention she's 10. I've tried being there for her, but she rarely accepts affection or talk to me about anything. I would try to show her new things, share things I like with her, but she is determined to not be like me in any way, shape or form. And our personalities are very different. I'm at a loss of what to do. Believe me, depression has crossed my mind; I remember having symptoms of it at an earlier age than her. Is it selfish of me to not want her to have depression because I'm just so afraid that if that's what it is, it will divide my family and dredge up my past experiences with it?

Mars
March 25th, 2017, 01:54 PM
Thanks for your reply. I forgot to mention she's 10. I've tried being there for her, but she rarely accepts affection or talk to me about anything. I would try to show her new things, share things I like with her, but she is determined to not be like me in any way, shape or form. And our personalities are very different. I'm at a loss of what to do. Believe me, depression has crossed my mind; I remember having symptoms of it at an earlier age than her. Is it selfish of me to not want her to have depression because I'm just so afraid that if that's what it is, it will divide my family and dredge up my past experiences with it?

Honestly, it is a little selfish. But that's alright, because everyone is a little selfish inside. If she's 10, more than likely it is just a phase. However, even if she pushes you away, she's still young and thats just how a lot of kids are. Try to learn about her interests and talk to her about that. And again, introduce her to things you think she'd be interested in.

Amethyst Rose
March 25th, 2017, 02:11 PM
Honestly, it is a little selfish. But that's alright, because everyone is a little selfish inside. If she's 10, more than likely it is just a phase. However, even if she pushes you away, she's still young and thats just how a lot of kids are. Try to learn about her interests and talk to her about that. And again, introduce her to things you think she'd be interested in.

I will try. I'm just terrified my dad will throw the "you're the big sister, see what kind of example you set for her, she's depressed because she saw what you went through" card in my face, and I honestly could not handle that.

jamie_n5
March 25th, 2017, 04:19 PM
I think you are doing well to try being a caring big sister. Maybe give her time and space and she may actually come to you especially when she starts puberty and gets her period and body changes. You could talk to a school counselor for some ideas or to help ease your dealing with what's going on with her. I hope that all works out.

Amethyst Rose
March 25th, 2017, 04:40 PM
I think you are doing well to try being a caring big sister. Maybe give her time and space and she may actually come to you especially when she starts puberty and gets her period and body changes. You could talk to a school counselor for some ideas or to help ease your dealing with what's going on with her. I hope that all works out.

The thing is, I could definitely be a better sister. I do try to be nice to her, and I am a patient person, but she pushes me to the brink and I let my anger/irritation get the better of me more than I would like to admit. Asking the counselor for tips is a great idea, I never thought of that. Thanks :)

BlackParadePixie
March 25th, 2017, 05:14 PM
is it possible she has hit puberty a bit early and is just full of crazy hormones and emotions and she doesn't know how to deal with it all?

Amethyst Rose
March 25th, 2017, 11:28 PM
is it possible she has hit puberty a bit early and is just full of crazy hormones and emotions and she doesn't know how to deal with it all?

Part of it could be because of that, but I'm not about to completely excuse her behavior by saying it's just puberty. Yes puberty can be overwhelming and confusing at times, we all know that. But this goes back years and years and it's progressively gotten worse. Something else is at play here.