PDA

View Full Version : MY little brother touches me in my sleep


Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 12:14 PM
Hi, so I am a 15yo bi male. I have a lot of siblings all brothers. The other night I woke up to my 12 yo brother holding my penis. I looked and saw he was holding his as if he was comparing them. He only held them both for a couple seconds then he left. I have gone through this with my older brother. I know being curious is natural and being curious about your older brothers and size differences and puberty is normal as well.. However, all my other brothers and I could talk about it and express our curiosity. This little brother has never said anything to me or expressed any curiosity at all until this happened. I am a very heavy sleeper and I wondering if he has not done this before. I just don't know how to approach him without making him feel ashamed or embarrassed.

Bull
February 23rd, 2017, 01:22 PM
Be friendly helpful brother that makes him comfortable to talk with you about puberty. React positively to him in all situations. You are in a position to be great help to him.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 01:28 PM
I am very open as where all my older brothers to me. I understand that it is a natural part of puberty. I am ok with his curiosity. I just don't know how to confront him out him touching me when I am asleep instead of talking to me and why he feels he can't talk to me

ClaraWho
February 23rd, 2017, 01:37 PM
That sounds extremely creepy, you should tell him it is not okay to grope anyone non-consensually. That's the main issue here.

~ Clara

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 01:58 PM
I do not want to make him feel ashamed or embarrassed about his curiosity though.

BlackParadePixie
February 23rd, 2017, 03:58 PM
I do not want to make him feel ashamed or embarrassed about his curiosity though.
there are better ways for him to explain his curiosity though than to go fondling someone in their sleep.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 03:59 PM
I agree Black but I want to be gentle and not make him think I am mad at him non the less

zzzzzzzzzz
February 23rd, 2017, 04:11 PM
Just start off by asking him in to your room and sit him next to you when you know both of you have time on your own. Speak softly (no raised voices) and tell him that you don't mind and are happy to answer any of his questions. How far you go in showing anything is up to you. He could be more terrified if you "wake up unexpectedly" whilst he was doing something when you are asleep again. I think he would appreciate it more.

BlackParadePixie
February 23rd, 2017, 04:12 PM
I agree Black but I want to be gentle and not make him think I am mad at him non the less
that's fine, you don't have to be mean to him...but you should still let him know that sort of thing is usually inappropriate. If he wants to talk about things, let him know you're available to do so.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 04:13 PM
Yea that is why I didn't yell at him when I woke up. I just waited a few seconds and he left.

Hermes
February 23rd, 2017, 04:45 PM
Even if you don't mind being the recipient of the touching I think it important that your brother understands that when touching someone there it is important to ask first. So I think you should have a conversation with him. Something along the lines of "I don't know if you realised but I woke up while you were touching my penis last night. While there isn't anything wrong with touching someone like that, and while it can be fun for both people, it is only ok to do it if you have asked first and the person has said yes".

Where you go after that depends on what you are comfortable with. Hopefully as part of that you will enourage him to talk and make it plain it is better to talk than to feel weird about things.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 05:36 PM
Yea thank you for the advice :P

ClaraWho
February 23rd, 2017, 07:19 PM
Even if you don't mind being the recipient of the touching I think it important that your brother understands that when touching someone there it is important to ask first. So I think you should have a conversation with him. Something along the lines of "I don't know if you realised but I woke up while you were touching my penis last night. While there isn't anything wrong with touching someone like that, and while it can be fun for both people, it is only ok to do it if you have asked first and the person has said yes".

Where you go after that depends on what you are comfortable with. Hopefully as part of that you will enourage him to talk and make it plain it is better to talk than to feel weird about things.

This. What I will add is how it would sound should the story get out, or your parents find out. People may assume the worst, given that he is still a child and you didn't stop/report his behaviour straight away. That could turn ugly quickly. Especially if you told him not to tell, that just sounds worse. At least if you have the above conversation you are more covered.

~ Clara

Anniebanannie
February 23rd, 2017, 07:44 PM
He's your younger brother and you're help him grow up. How about telling him that our bodies belong to us and people need permission before they can touch. Then ask him if he has any questions.

Don't treat it like it's/he's weird. Treat it matter of factly.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 07:47 PM
Thank you for the advice :p

pconnor
February 23rd, 2017, 10:18 PM
He should not have touched your with your knowledge and consent. But since he is only 12, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

Dragonmaster69
February 23rd, 2017, 10:35 PM
I do give him the benefit of the doubt and ty for your advice :P

galaxy2000
February 23rd, 2017, 10:39 PM
He should not have touched your with your knowledge and consent. But since he is only 12, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

I agree. You should teach him that touching without consent isn't appropriate, and that he should come to you or your parents and ask questions he may have, instead of hiding it and trying to figure out himself.

Harrier
February 23rd, 2017, 10:40 PM
I agree Black but I want to be gentle and not make him think I am mad at him non the less

But you should be mad and you should tell him so. Whether you know it or not and whether you liked it or not he violated and molested you. Moving forward let him know he can ask you anything and that family is forever so you will help him. Imo if you are open with him about puberty he will be open with you. I'm 17 and my 13yo brother knows he can ask me anything.

Dragonmaster69
February 24th, 2017, 09:58 AM
Thanks for the advice Iron and Harrier

Phosphene
February 24th, 2017, 10:53 AM
I'm going to take a slightly different perspective than what others have said.

Yes, it is important that when you talk to him, you stress that what he did is unacceptable and such intimate actions should be mutually agreed to. But you said that he's never come to you for puberty advice, which means he probably doesn't understand what he did, so imo you should not be mad at him. I think he's just shy to discuss it with you - maybe even embarrassed to tell you he has questions - and he thought this could be a way of letting you know that he does. This doesn't excuse it by any means, but you have to look at the situation from every angle. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that he can feel comfortable asking you things and you're not going to judge him, and to not repeat what he did to you in the future.

ashleigh7
February 24th, 2017, 11:52 AM
Ya I would definitely talk to him...very informal. If he's curious about something...let him know he can ask you in person...not check you out when your sleeping....that would scare the crap out of me! : )

Cangirl
February 24th, 2017, 03:47 PM
I think its important to tell him that its not ok to just touch somebody when theyre sleeping and havent said that its ok to do it. We all have our privacy and boundaries and they should be respected. Like a lot of people have said i think its important to talk to him when you are alone with him. It doesnt have to be like alone in the house but just like alone together playing a game or watching tv somewhere where you and him can talk openly.

I think maybe if u said that so hey I woke up and you were in my room, did you want to ask me something? and maybe get it started that way.

I think ur cool for being open and wanting to talk to him too.

Jake_Smith
February 24th, 2017, 03:52 PM
Its just wrong for him to do it without asking. Its important he understands what is right and what is wrong.

Zachary G
February 24th, 2017, 03:53 PM
Just pull him to the side so its just the two of you and talk to him about it. Assure him than anything you talk about will just be between the two fo you, so he might feel more comfortable and open up to you. He may have other questions.

Barbara.
February 24th, 2017, 07:12 PM
I'm going to take a slightly different perspective than what others have said.

Yes, it is important that when you talk to him, you stress that what he did is unacceptable and such intimate actions should be mutually agreed to. But you said that he's never come to you for puberty advice, which means he probably doesn't understand what he did, so imo you should not be mad at him. I think he's just shy to discuss it with you - maybe even embarrassed to tell you he has questions - and he thought this could be a way of letting you know that he does. This doesn't excuse it by any means, but you have to look at the situation from every angle. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that he can feel comfortable asking you things and you're not going to judge him, and to not repeat what he did to you in the future.
As always Amethyst_ has the best advice.

kyrocks03
February 25th, 2017, 10:12 AM
I'm going to take a slightly different perspective than what others have said.

Yes, it is important that when you talk to him, you stress that what he did is unacceptable and such intimate actions should be mutually agreed to. But you said that he's never come to you for puberty advice, which means he probably doesn't understand what he did, so imo you should not be mad at him. I think he's just shy to discuss it with you - maybe even embarrassed to tell you he has questions - and he thought this could be a way of letting you know that he does. This doesn't excuse it by any means, but you have to look at the situation from every angle. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that he can feel comfortable asking you things and you're not going to judge him, and to not repeat what he did to you in the future.

This is the best way to go without a doubt. Doing this to someone while they sleep could end REALLY bad. He could get hurt if the individual he's doing this too doesn't approve or is startled. I'd have a talk with him and soon.

scott2002
February 26th, 2017, 03:15 PM
That sounds extremely creepy, you should tell him it is not okay to grope anyone non-consensually. That's the main issue here.

~ Clara

I agree! This is creepy! If he is doing it to you while he thinks you are asleep, that means he feels you would be upset and say NO if he asked you or wanted to touch you while you were awake.

SeansLittleBro
March 1st, 2017, 11:47 AM
as the youngest of 4 boys -- my twin is 3 mintues older - i appreciated the fact that my older brothers would talk to me about what was happening with me as i grew up I had my twin and we talked a lot about things when they happened, not only sex but everything - and when we started to get boners and those feelings my older brothers took us aside and talked with us explaining and trying to help us get through what they already had experienced. I think your brother needs that -- if he is touching you he is curious but as everyone has said make sure he knows that the way he went about it is not appropriate and something he should never do without mutual consent

Anniebanannie
March 5th, 2017, 04:07 PM
Hi, so I am a 15yo bi male. I have a lot of siblings all brothers. The other night I woke up to my 12 yo brother holding my penis. I looked and saw he was holding his as if he was comparing them. He only held them both for a couple seconds then he left. I have gone through this with my older brother. I know being curious is natural and being curious about your older brothers and size differences and puberty is normal as well.. However, all my other brothers and I could talk about it and express our curiosity. This little brother has never said anything to me or expressed any curiosity at all until this happened. I am a very heavy sleeper and I wondering if he has not done this before. I just don't know how to approach him without making him feel ashamed or embarrassed.

Hi. So what did you end up doing?

The1uwant
March 8th, 2017, 03:33 AM
He's your younger brother and you're help him grow up. How about telling him that our bodies belong to us and people need permission before they can touch. Then ask him if he has any questions.

Don't treat it like it's/he's weird. Treat it matter of factly.

i agree

ashdaniel
March 12th, 2017, 01:38 AM
I never experience that before because I don't have brother but I do have similar experience. Well it is my dad curious of my development , it is taboo to talk about sex, puberty and stuff in my family. My dad never see me naked since I start my puberty. I have the same experience as you but it is my dad instead.

zzzzzzzzzz
March 18th, 2017, 01:02 PM
Thanks for the advice Iron and Harrier

Have you spoken with him? What happened?

Dragonmaster69
March 18th, 2017, 01:05 PM
Yes,he and talked and we worked it out. Thank you for asking.

theyear3000
March 18th, 2017, 05:47 PM
Maybe just approach him and let him ask any questions that he needs answering and see if you can help

rbbsi
April 20th, 2017, 01:53 PM
Probably bust him one then feel guilty and ask why he did it.

euan35
April 21st, 2017, 11:03 PM
Although it sounds a little weird that he's done that, I think it's important for you to be able to be comfortable enough with him to talk about puberty. After all, you are both siblings and are in it tgt

Chaosphere
April 23rd, 2017, 01:08 AM
If you haven't already, approach him and directly explain boundaries to him. You are in an important position to help a younger peer go through the process of puberty without having to learn all the information many of us learned the hard way. However, that guidance can only occur on both parties' terms, and it must be consensual. Fortunately, teaching boundaries and consent are a good way to start teaching him. Just be open and approachable, but firm when it comes to personal space and consent, and everything will work out for the best.

SillyPecker
April 23rd, 2017, 08:47 AM
he should know that doing that he could get in trouble.. he wants to compare so my advice would be to you. to invite him into the bathroom while you are getting dressed then show him.. ask him that you forgot your pants or something... after this, he should be comfortable enough with you to talk about the situation.. just tell him its normal to be curious and act like you are curious about him too

Londongirl01
April 23rd, 2017, 11:04 AM
He needs to know that him groping you in your sleep was completely uncool- confront him and say so. Advice can come later x

Jrunner
April 23rd, 2017, 11:29 AM
I don't think what he's doing is cool at all, I mean what could that kind of behavior lead to, ya know? But it's understandable you don't want to embarrass him or whatever, just approach him calmly and friendly-like, and explain he just can't do that, and if he's curious you two can deal with that in a more appropriate way.

Michael M.
April 23rd, 2017, 11:50 PM
lyer

KBar33
April 24th, 2017, 12:16 AM
I have a little brother, not like LITTLE per se but he's two years younger than me, and I felt a sort of responsibilty as the eldest child to help out my young bro get through his problems and questions. You gotta let him know that it's not cool to just fondle people's genitals like that, but understand he means no harm, he's just curious. So try to get him to admit it, never accuse or point fingers, and then let him know that you'll let it slide and that you are there to support him and answer any questions he has. That's basically what I had to do with my brother.

wrestleboy13
January 3rd, 2018, 07:42 PM
How did things go between you and your brother?

TheMagicPotato
January 3rd, 2018, 07:48 PM
Ask him why is he doing that, and discuss the reasons with him in a calm and comprehensive manner.

YoungHypebeast
January 5th, 2018, 04:34 PM
You should have a talk with him and tell him
To stop