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View Full Version : Time to Tell My Parents: Tips?


KBar33
February 14th, 2017, 02:29 AM
I have already told most of my friends that I am bisexual already, spare a few people who I honestly just haven't had a good time to tell them since, ya know, busy studying. I've had a very positive experience coming out to my friends, I've had a few people be genuinely confused on what bisexuality really is. However, that didn't bother me one bit, cause they had some legitimate and fair questions to ask me about things they genuinely didn't understand. So I knew that it was simply not knowing about it, or not being exposed to it often. So it's been pretty good so far, it's been emotionally taxing, but overall really good. However, as I'm sure all of you guys know, your friends are most likely going to be very accepting and cool about it, but your parent are another thing.

I am fortunate in the fact that my parents are genuinely good people who love everyone no matter what. Both me and my parents are Christian conservative, which sounds pretty sketch on the surface, but there's more to it. One time my parents found gay porn searches on my computer, and once they sat me down at the kitchen table, they expressly stated that if I was gay that they'd never stop loving me as their son. They said that they'd be pretty surprised to learn that, but that it wouldn't be out of malice. So that much I'm not worried about. However I am scared of actually saying it still. I know it's completely irrational to be held up by this still, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I think it might be the more older part of my family that I'm worried about. Since once I tell my parents, It'll be pretty hard for them to not talk about it with my grandparents and then it'll spread through the family. Maybe I'm just not ready for that to happen perhaps. Though with that said my grandparents are still pretty open to gay people, but I think that since they are even more traditional than my parents and also bc they have a certain image about me since they don't see me as often as my parents, it might surprise them even more than my parents. But I digress, do y'all have any tips that helped you come out to your parents? I personally have coming out to my parents as my New Years resolution, so I'd like to be able to get over this irrational fear of telling them. I'd like to start living the way that I want to live and stop pretending to be someone I'm not in front of them, and I'd like some help to eventually get to that point. Thanks :)

Just JT
February 14th, 2017, 07:39 AM
I think you face the same problem many other guys our age do. We somehow trust our friends more on stuff like this s than our friends. And that's good cause that means you have friends you can trust

We got this thing inside us always telling us not to disapoint the ur parents or something. And we believe if we're different than how we perceive how we should be for them they will be disappointing. And that can be a crushing feeling. Especially if they do not accept you.

But that's not guna happen here and deep inside you know that to. They've talked to you about it and know how they feel. Will shit change? Yeah it will. Did it change when you told your friends? Yeah t did. And the ones who were open with it were cool about it. And your family will also respond differently. Some (parents) will obviously be cool about it. What they do or say to others is up to them I guess. But really it's up to you, it's your business.

Grandparents might have difficulty understanding. But they'll come around about it. They'll realize that they need to accept you for who you are or risk loosing you. And if they do that.....we'll just deal with that as it comes.

It will be the talk of the family. It's a big thing. Unfortunately. People always seem to assume we're all straight until we come up as what ever sexual orientation. Reality is it's not like that. We discover our orientation through growing up, wondering, exploring and through experiences we have. Like anything else abovet ourselves in life. There are no rules. Only social norms that create the base lines of who we are and what we should be.

You wana tell your friends, cool bro I'm proud of you and I'll be here at your side for the few assholes who turn their back on you. You wana tell your family, I'm righ behind you for (if) they blow you away and you fall back, I'll catch you and stand you back up.

Explain it's who you are not what you are. It's what makes you happy. And they should be happy you discovered this now rather then when your 50 have a family and miserable cause you lived a lie.

It just don't matter what or how other people think say or do about your sexuality. Either you live in hiding, and wonder who is really truly the ones who love and accept you, or you live your life in the open, and you'll clearly know all those people who stand beside and behind you. For who you are.

Hope that helped, there's no rule book with easy answers for this, never was and never will be. But know we are all here to help if you need.

Good luck bro....