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parhelion
February 6th, 2017, 09:15 AM
I hate that I'm this way. I just wish gender roles weren't a thing, so people could be who they truly are.

I want to live my life in a gender-neutral body, and I feel so dysphoric as a female. Even wearing gender-specific clothing hurts me.

Please help.

auser_name
February 6th, 2017, 11:13 AM
I may be misunderstanding the situation but, are you saying you are a male that wishes to be female or there other way? or would you rather you be neither?

Anniebanannie
February 6th, 2017, 09:51 PM
Hi Tyler. I believe there are some people here who feel similarly to how you do. I'm happy to listen if you just need someone to talk to, though.

Just JT
February 7th, 2017, 05:48 PM
I may be misunderstanding the situation but, are you saying you are a male that wishes to be female or there other way? or would you rather you be neither?

From what I get is that although tyler was born physically a boy, tyler feels he is female. And wishes that he would be allowed to live his life as he is most comfortable, without judgement or ridicule.

Just simple, easy, acceptance for why tyler is

If I'm wrong please correct me. For the record, I accept you and anyone else for who they are. Not wha society places what ever values standards or norms on them based on if they have a penis, vagina, wear makeup, a dress, boots and jeans or how they keep their hair or who they want to gave sex with.

It's a free world, or at least it should be.

auser_name
February 7th, 2017, 06:02 PM
Thank you, for clearing that up Just JT. If this is the case then I feel you do have the right to live as whatever gender you please. If you feel more comfortable in a female lifestyle, please go ahead and live like that, and not matter what happened you will always be accepted here. But like I said, message if its too hard.

Desuetude
February 8th, 2017, 05:53 PM
I may be misunderstanding the situation but, are you saying you are a male that wishes to be female or there other way? or would you rather you be neither?

From what I get is that although tyler was born physically a boy, tyler feels he is female. And wishes that he would be allowed to live his life as he is most comfortable, without judgement or ridicule.

Just simple, easy, acceptance for why tyler is

If I'm wrong please correct me. For the record, I accept you and anyone else for who they are. Not wha society places what ever values standards or norms on them based on if they have a penis, vagina, wear makeup, a dress, boots and jeans or how they keep their hair or who they want to gave sex with.

It's a free world, or at least it should be.
Nope, he's a trans guy so he was born in a female body (hence biologically female) but is a guy.

Dysphoira is shit dude. Do small things like change your name legally or buy a new shirt that suits you and work towards the bigger picture. One day you'll see someone you recognise as you in the mirror and weve all just gotta hold out for that day.

Btw: gender roles have zero to do with gender identity, don't let that affect the you. A guy can be a stay at home dad and a girl can go and work doing manual labour. Makes no difference what gender you are as to what 'roles' you have.

auser_name
February 8th, 2017, 06:40 PM
Nope, he's a trans guy so he was born in a female body (hence biologically female) but is a guy.

Dysphoira is shit dude. Do small things like change your name legally or buy a new shirt that suits you and work towards the bigger picture. One day you'll see someone you recognise as you in the mirror and weve all just gotta hold out for that day.

Btw: gender roles have zero to do with gender identity, don't let that affect the you. A guy can be a stay at home dad and a girl can go and work doing manual labour. Makes no difference what gender you are as to what 'roles' you have.

Thank you for clearing that up for me.

jamie_n5
February 9th, 2017, 03:53 PM
You have a very hard situation. There are some transgender people or groups on VT that may be able to help you with your struggles and feelings too. I think you have all of our support of the people here that are responding to your post. I think that I understand how you must feel but I can only relate in a way because I am gay so that makes me somewhat different than the norm. I really can only imagine the things and feelings you are going through and trying to deal with. If there is anything that I can do please let me know. You need to try find some others that are going through transgender also and get support and support them. Have you told your family or any close friends? I would think if you got their support and understanding that would be a good start. There are also doctors and counselors that can help you transgender too. I hope you find some help soon.

Harrier
February 11th, 2017, 07:16 PM
Yah need way more info. If I have this right ... you were born a guy who feels like a girl but doesn't feel good wearing girls clothes???? If so just wear guys clothes such as jeans and a tshirt ... I mean that's actually pretty gender neutral clothing. As far as the rest (changing your name to a girls, changing your ID and all that stuff) that's up to you.

veroda
February 25th, 2017, 08:04 PM
whats the problem with having a girl body? (edit: periods)
whats the problem with having a boy body?

Equinox1
February 26th, 2017, 01:59 AM
I hate that I'm this way. I just wish gender roles weren't a thing, so people could be who they truly are.

I want to live my life in a gender-neutral body, and I feel so dysphoric as a female. Even wearing gender-specific clothing hurts me.

Please help.

Hey Tyler (cool name btw :)) I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm FTM too so I know how much dysphoria sucks, especially if you're stuck in the closet. Have you told anyone? A school counselor or an LGBT/children's helpline would be a good place to start. It does help, having people to talk to and when you finally do it, it feels like a huge weight off of your chest. If it's unsafe to come out to your family, my advice would be not to, until you've moved out of home and have stable living arrangements. If you don't know their opinion on the LGBT community, ask about what they think about famous trans people (Caitlyn Jenner, Chaz Bono, etc) or current events.

Equinox1
February 26th, 2017, 03:18 AM
Okay, for dealing with dysphoria, there's a lot you can do even without physical transition. Although, considering that you're 16 years old, you should be able to go through with some kind of hormone therapy if your parents will allow it. With clothing, you could buy male clothes of course. If your parents are suspicious, just say that you like the design or the print on it. Button-up shirts or apparently certain patterns can help give the illusion of a flatter chest. I tend to wear my shirts a size or two larger so that they don't cling to my body. Unisex clothes are also a godsend.

You can cut your hair if you want or a good way to get around that is to tie your hair up in a ponytail and hide that under a cap. Shorter hair does help but that doesn't mean passing with long hair is impossible. There are cis guys with long hair so don't feel discouraged, I have been able to pass with long hair myself. There's also binding, of course and there are binders made specifically for FTMs although if you have no access to these, I believe using sports bras are the safest route. There are websites online which detail how to bind (check them out!) but it would take for too long for me to type how here :P You can also pack if you want but some FTMs I know find it physically uncomfortable, again there are websites for this but I believe using a sock is the most common method.

Try not to feel too down, I know it's hard but in just two years, you'll be able to look into surgery. There's top surgery, which is a double mastectomy and bottom surgery, which is metoidioplasty and/or phalloplasty. And the results from testosterone are pretty amazing. More muscle growth, facial hair, an Adam's apple, more body hair are all possible with testosterone. You can also socially transition now, that is, getting people you trust to use your preferred name and pronouns.

Anyway, besides this, just try to do things that would fend off depression in general and this will help with dysphoria too. Eat healthy, take walks to clear your mind, do something that you love (drawing, reading, whatever) or take up new hobbies. I try and make new friends too since I find it helps to keep social :D Good luck with your transition, Tyler :)