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Ineedyou
January 17th, 2017, 01:56 AM
I have really bad social Anxiety, which has caused me to be shy and not have a lot of friends. I hate being lonely so I've tried very hard to control my anxiety but it's been rough. Being in a room of strangers or having the attention of a group on me makes me insanely anxious. Small talk also makes very anxious, which causes me to never be able to hold a conversation. Making eye contact used to make me anxious too, but I've been improving.

My question is, are there any things that you do that help you with your anxiety in social situations?

bentheplayer
January 17th, 2017, 09:50 AM
I would be quite interested to suggestions too. I absolutely hate social events. I can never start small talk irl and need the other party to suggest a topic. Presentations are a lot easier as I can just ignore the sea of people.

Amethyst Rose
January 17th, 2017, 10:44 PM
Ineedyou bentheplayer I'm sure you hear this a lot, but I know how you feel. Anxiety challenges me on a daily basis and I know it's not easy, so I really hope this helps you :) :

You know the one-way windows (don't know if there's a special name for them) where you can see through the other side, but the person on the other side can't see you? Social anxiety is kind of like that; you know you have it when you walk up to a person, but when they look at you, they won't know that. I remind myself of this when I try to initiate a conversation with someone. I also try to remember that if I say something that sounds stupid to me, it just goes in one ear and out the other; people aren't scrutinizing every word you say, despite your anxiety making you believe they are.

And then there's that 'pretend everyone is a stuffed animal' trick for being in front of crowds... but that doesn't work for me :lol: I don't have much advice for the center-of-attention-in-groups part, but I just imagine all the people as close family/friends whom I wouldn't be nervous speaking in front of.

bentheplayer
January 18th, 2017, 06:33 PM
When I was younger I used to use the stuffed animal trick. Now it just comes naturally somehow where I can simply ignore everyone who is watching and get on with the presentation. I think for presentation the best way is to practice. Once you do it regularly enough you will find it easier to forget that fear. It also helps when you are presenting to a group of people who don't know you.

I still find it difficult for small groups conversations tho as what I say is usually judged. I am surrounded by super critical and pedantic people such that I just can't get rid of my anxiety. The only way I could rid that anxiety is to accept that I make mistakes? But somehow mistakes are heavily frowned upon. There are too many perfectionists around me who are ruining my fragile self-esteem.