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View Full Version : Is my dad's emotional abuse as relevant?


Flannel
December 27th, 2016, 12:15 AM
As physical?
My dad is an alcoholic and has been for years. I've lived with my mom for 90% of my life. Recently I did have to live with him for 6 months and in that time he constantly told me I was going no where in life, mocked the fact that I was bullied in middle school by saying I'd "be that kid who shot up a school", on one of my drawings I did, I quoted a part of the song heathens, and by "All my friends are heathens, take it slow" he wrote "and not real" while I was in the shower. He constantly talks about my mom and mocks me when I cry or tell him I love him.
I've been told a few times that his emotional abuse is better than physical (though he has been physical before but mostly emotional.) and I always wonder if maybe I'm just overreacting or doing something wrong. I don't like discussing this much but I really need to let this out and I'm glad I found this forum.

Uniquemind
December 27th, 2016, 03:23 AM
Your welcome, you certainly have not been alone.

I've seen many members of these forums share their stories of abuse by authority figures here.

Know you aren't alone and hang in there.

Life is not a predetermined experience you have a say in shaping your future as long as you are aware of the past and in the moment for the present.

Abuse in my opinion tends to distort the last two, it makes it painful to reflect on the past, it takes you out of the present so as to cope, and in doing so affects the ability to go back fully into the present to build your future.

Understand the relationship with all 3, try to avoid as much personal guilt as possible, and when you can jump for your future which is very bright.

Just JT
December 27th, 2016, 05:37 AM
Abuse comes in many forms. All have the same intent to simply hurt or injure you on some way obviously. It sounds whacked but think about it. The abuser is looking for a weak spot to get to you. If there physically abusive and aver time realize there not getting the same satisfaction form the same abuse it's only natural to think of something else to do to gets der your skin. Or for the abuser to feel they got u der your skin and feel satisfied they e abused you enough for their satisfaction at that time

But which is more relevant? Physical or emotional?
That's not all that easy to answer. A lot of that I think depends on the person, their limits and relationship with the abuser. I hate to make this sound so casual but I've spent a lot of time processing this kinda stuff. And for my my body is simply a thing. And if he wants to beat and abuse me or what ever go ahead. He can't think of anything new to hurt me that way. So good luck. Emotional, depending on the relationship, if you love him, it's hard, he's already won. Cause you want that live from him however it comes. If you don't you can easily rationalize his words and minimize them to some degree.

Either way there both hard, impossible it seems. Physical abuse causes physical harm and scars are left for memories. Some fade and will go away. Emotional abuse leaves scars that are not seen and never go away

Flannel
December 27th, 2016, 01:52 PM
Thank you both for your thoughtful replies, I enjoyed reading them and hope that I can keep key parts of them with me and remind myself of them when a situation comes.
I appreciate it.

Trevor.
December 28th, 2016, 02:08 PM
As physical?
My dad is an alcoholic and has been for years. I've lived with my mom for 90% of my life. Recently I did have to live with him for 6 months and in that time he constantly told me I was going no where in life, mocked the fact that I was bullied in middle school by saying I'd "be that kid who shot up a school", on one of my drawings I did, I quoted a part of the song heathens, and by "All my friends are heathens, take it slow" he wrote "and not real" while I was in the shower. He constantly talks about my mom and mocks me when I cry or tell him I love him.
I've been told a few times that his emotional abuse is better than physical (though he has been physical before but mostly emotional.) and I always wonder if maybe I'm just overreacting or doing something wrong. I don't like discussing this much but I really need to let this out and I'm glad I found this forum.

Although emotional abuse don't leave scars or bruise on you physically, it still hurt you as a person. You should have the choice to live with your mom only,Stay strong and don't hesitate to call the cops when he starts to hurt you physical. Good luck ��

Flannel
December 28th, 2016, 02:35 PM
Although emotional abuse don't leave scars or bruise on you physically, it still hurt you as a person. You should have the choice to live with your mom only,Stay strong and don't hesitate to call the cops when he starts to hurt you physical. Good luck ��

Thank you.
I'm currently staying with my mom but her situation is a different story, probably for another subforum. I appreciate it!

Just JT
January 1st, 2017, 08:10 PM
Thank you.
I'm currently staying with my mom but her situation is a different story, probably for another subforum. I appreciate it!

Maybe, maybe not. I'm not a mod or anything but I'm feel pretty confident if you kinda branched out a little people here will be helpful, and if it got really off topic a mod can help with that

The important thing is how your doing and all that?
Are you safe and all?

NewLeafsFan
January 8th, 2017, 01:20 PM
Absolutely it is. And stop questioning as to if you deserve it or are being to sensitive. No one deserves abuse of any form on any level. I really hope that you get away from your dad as quickly as possible.

However, while you are with him try practicing congnitive behavioral tharapy. The basic idea is that you cant control your dad, but you can control you. Dont do stuff thst sets him off even if it seems like you'd be doing something normal. Obviously stop saying "I love you" because your dad hurts you when you say it. Google it for more details and good luck.