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auser_name
December 23rd, 2016, 09:14 PM
Lets be blunt and keep this short and sweet. Im gay. Im fine with it. but what I'm not fine with is living in the shadows. I want to tell my parents and at 18 that shouldn't be too hard. but it is. It's terrifying. I wake up in the morning walk downstair to tell them. And then stop.

In reality what I want to know is how did you tell your parents you were homosexual. wether lesbian or gay. and how did your parents react. Please as much detail here as you please to give.

Thank you to anyone who is willing to help.

ska8er
December 24th, 2016, 10:28 AM
I'm going to answer but I don't consider
myself gay-anyway since u r still living
with ur parents and u r not comfortable
in coming out I wouldn't unless u know
they will take it well-don't add any more
pressure on urself than what u have right
now-if u move out on ur own and away
from home then u have more independence
and Maybe it would b much more easier for
u and ur parents to get to understand what
ur ideas r.

ashdaniel
December 24th, 2016, 11:03 AM
It is hard question. My parents is so traditional and conservative. I consider myself as bi and I don't I will ever tell my parents about it. Some of my friends already know. It really depend on how open your family is. The fact that you are from London,UK give me a sense that your family maybe be more open. Give them hint to see how they react to homosexuality before coming out to them.

samuel15
December 24th, 2016, 11:23 AM
Tell some of your best friends see how they react and go from there,
it isn't like in some movies when your dad hates for being gay but i don't
know how your parent are so can't really tell how thay will react.
But tell close friend you know are ok with Gay people.

zack.zack
December 24th, 2016, 11:27 AM
Coming out to your parents is always the hardest thing you would ever have to do in life because you never know how they are going to react. Some of us are fortunate enough to have very open and progressive parents who support us in our pursuit of happiness in life and who love us unconditionally, but some of us arent so fortunate and are forced to live in the closet for a long time.
Only you know your parents better than anyone, so only you would know when the right time would be for you to come out to them, if at all.
I came out to my parents when I was 10. My mom was asking me about the girl I used to hang out with at school and sometimes at the playground, if I liked her and was she was my girlfriend. I told her that she was just my friend and not my girlfriend because I loved my best friend and he was going to be my bf. She then asked if I knew what that meant and I told her that I didnt like girls that I liked boys. Though she and my dad were a little on the surprised side, they said that if its what I wanted and it made me happy its was okay, they loved me no matter what.
Not everyone had or will have this experience, but I wish you well all the same.

auser_name
December 24th, 2016, 04:09 PM
Thank you all for helping me. I will take everything into consideration before making my final judgement

pjones
December 25th, 2016, 07:31 PM
I really hope you're accepted. it was easy for me, my parents figured it out before i did so i was incredibly lucky.

jockeyboy97
December 26th, 2016, 02:57 PM
Lets be blunt and keep this short and sweet. Im gay. Im fine with it. but what I'm not fine with is living in the shadows. I want to tell my parents and at 18 that shouldn't be too hard. but it is. It's terrifying. I wake up in the morning walk downstair to tell them. And then stop.

In reality what I want to know is how did you tell your parents you were homosexual. wether lesbian or gay. and how did your parents react. Please as much detail here as you please to give.

Thank you to anyone who is willing to help.

First off you made the first step in accepting yourself as gay. The next step is coming out. This past summer at 18, I came out to my parents as bi or gay. Funny I'm still really unsure, however I did come out to my Dad and Mom at a family vacation. I have posted my story on finally coming out. I got the courage reading other posts on VT and one poster that really help push me to come out was Paul from Florida. You need to read his post on coming out. It never occurred to me that my parents already had a strong suspicion that I was gay or bi. After coming out my mother told me that her and my dad had sometimes noticed how I would stare at guys the way a guy would stare at a girl. My mother said she knows her son well and had that instinct. Her and my Dad talked about it and were waiting for me to talk to them. My mother also walked in on me and one of my friends having sex, but never said anything. The day i told my parents I told my younger brother and all he said was "duh I already know". All I can tell you that the day I told my parents it felt like a big heavy weight was taken away from me. I felt so relieved and at peace with myself. Both my parents told me that I'm still their sweet boy and that what ever sexual orientation I was it's my personal choice and business.
Yes it was terrifying and I was scared to hell but I did it. There is a very good chance that either one or both of your parents know that you are gay and are waiting for you to come out to them. Parents especially mothers have that special instinct and they know their children. Just like parents know when were lying, worried, sad, upset, happy,scared or are keeping something from them. VT is a good resource, there are a lot of good coming out stories as well as some not so good. The majority are good results. Remember we are born with the sexual orientation that we are destined to be for life. Good luck to you and remember you have friends here on VT. Message me if I can help.

auser_name
December 26th, 2016, 08:06 PM
First off you made the first step in accepting yourself as gay. The next step is coming out. This past summer at 18, I came out to my parents as bi or gay. Funny I'm still really unsure, however I did come out to my Dad and Mom at a family vacation. I have posted my story on finally coming out. I got the courage reading other posts on VT and one poster that really help push me to come out was Paul from Florida. You need to read his post on coming out. It never occurred to me that my parents already had a strong suspicion that I was gay or bi. After coming out my mother told me that her and my dad had sometimes noticed how I would stare at guys the way a guy would stare at a girl. My mother said she knows her son well and had that instinct. Her and my Dad talked about it and were waiting for me to talk to them. My mother also walked in on me and one of my friends having sex, but never said anything. The day i told my parents I told my younger brother and all he said was "duh I already know". All I can tell you that the day I told my parents it felt like a big heavy weight was taken away from me. I felt so relieved and at peace with myself. Both my parents told me that I'm still their sweet boy and that what ever sexual orientation I was it's my personal choice and business.
Yes it was terrifying and I was scared to hell but I did it. There is a very good chance that either one or both of your parents know that you are gay and are waiting for you to come out to them. Parents especially mothers have that special instinct and they know their children. Just like parents know when were lying, worried, sad, upset, happy,scared or are keeping something from them. VT is a good resource, there are a lot of good coming out stories as well as some not so good. The majority are good results. Remember we are born with the sexual orientation that we are destined to be for life. Good luck to you and remember you have friends here on VT. Message me if I can help.

Honestly I would love to message you privately but I can't as I do not have enough posts. if you don't mind me asking in a public place, how did you tell your parents and how did they react directly afterwards? I have what seems to be a million and one questions but I feel these are the two most important right now.

LiamC
December 27th, 2016, 11:58 PM
I just told my mum on facebook because I wasn't living with her at the time lmao. She was a bit iffy at first truth be told but my family are kind of lowkey homophobic. Not like opposing gay marriage burn them all or any extreme but they're kind of "I don't want to see it in public" and my mum said she'd rather that I wasn't gay but she accepted it soon after. It all depends how your family are. To me, I'm not that close to my family for various reasons, even my mum, so I found it easier to tell my friends first. I don't know of course if you've told friends, but if you haven't then a best friend you can trust is a great place to start. The more people you tell who take it well, the easier it becomes to tell the people you're more nervous about. It's like a rush haha, you tell someone, they react well and it's euphoric, and then you wonder what the fuss was about and it becomes so much easier to tell others!

auser_name
December 29th, 2016, 12:35 PM
I just told my mum on facebook because I wasn't living with her at the time lmao. She was a bit iffy at first truth be told but my family are kind of lowkey homophobic. Not like opposing gay marriage burn them all or any extreme but they're kind of "I don't want to see it in public" and my mum said she'd rather that I wasn't gay but she accepted it soon after. It all depends how your family are. To me, I'm not that close to my family for various reasons, even my mum, so I found it easier to tell my friends first. I don't know of course if you've told friends, but if you haven't then a best friend you can trust is a great place to start. The more people you tell who take it well, the easier it becomes to tell the people you're more nervous about. It's like a rush haha, you tell someone, they react well and it's euphoric, and then you wonder what the fuss was about and it becomes so much easier to tell others!

I already have told a few of my closest friends form secondary school and they all seem fine with it. Even the one I had a massive crush on. And I must confess it was an amazing feeling to kind of step out of the shadows so to speak. I did even have a boyfriend for some time. That kind of leads to my next question. How do your parents react to your relationships? If you're comfortable talking about it of course.

Just JT
January 3rd, 2017, 02:34 AM
Honestly I would love to message you privately but I can't as I do not have enough posts. if you don't mind me asking in a public place, how did you tell your parents and how did they react directly afterwards? I have what seems to be a million and one questions but I feel these are the two most important right now.


You have enough posts now and should feel free to pm anyone. jockeyboy97 is a good guy to talk to also.

For me I just feel like people shouldn't need to "come out" to anyone. People always assume your straight unless you come out. They shouldn't. It doesn't make it any easier I'm sure. I never had to come out to people like that. But what I'll say is make sure your ready, no matter what you come out as. Because you can't take it back. Your parents I'm sure will love you what ever you are.

But I think when that time comes, and your ready, it's not going to really matter to much, it's going to just feel natural, normal and feel good about it. Because you'll be ready and people's response won't matter.

You'll do fine. Pm me anytime if you wana chat or something

NewLeafsFan
January 4th, 2017, 05:01 AM
I'm not gay but I would still like to offer you some support. My parents would be very accepting if I was gay and still I know I would have a hard time telling them.

I think that it would probably be easier to talk to them one at a time but both around the same time. Tell one and than the other. After you tell one, telling the other will seem easier.

I cant imagine how hard this must be. I'm sure that you will be a lot happier once you have this conversation with them. They are your parents.

Tell them that you have something very important to talk to them about. Stay true to yourself and tell them. It will be ok.