View Full Version : The future is really bleak

December 23rd, 2016, 03:47 PM
I don't know how to start or explain it at all.
January next year my Dad will be locked up for a very long time. I know he did a lot of wrong things and it's not that it is unfair or anything... I dunno.

I mean he never even was a good Dad or anything. He has always been abusive beating me up over sometimes even nothing except a bad mood. Still he's the most important person in my life and I love him to death. I can't imagine him being away from me.

I have no idea what will become of me. He wants me to leave the country, live with some relatives away from the USA. My Dad says it would be the best so that I won't end up like him. But I just can't leave him. I belong here. Being away would mean to not being able to visit him or anything.

I want this time to be special. But nothing works out. I am sick and can't even prepare a proper Christmas. There are relatives around none of us wants to have in the house as Dad and I just want to be alone. People around me get on my nervers with their petty problems instead of just leaving me alone.

I don't know what the future holds, nothing to great I'm afraid. I just want to be happy for this short period of time but I am just crying most of the time.

December 23rd, 2016, 06:31 PM
It sounds like you are terrified of the unknown and on having to be responsible for your wellbeing.

You see this in relationships when the abused woman clings to her boyfriend despite the fact he beats her up. She is worth so much more, deserves so much better, is too important to be kept servile to such a nasty excuse for a human being. But still she thinks he is the most important thing in her life, and without him, the future is bleak.

Sound familiar?

Why is he so important to you?

Here are some questions you should ask yourself when seeking relationships.
1) Is the level of respect reciprocal?
2) Are the interactions we have positive and nurturing, do they drive me to be better?
3) Does this person genuinely care about my wellbeing?

Life is going to change dramatically for you, it's going to be scary and difficult, but stop fighting it. Go far away, be your own person. Find out who you are and what you want in life, in your career, in your relationships. No being a coward and staying put, hovelled up and going nowhere, just awaiting his return to beat you again.

You only live once. 'Family' is a title that is earnt, biology means nothing (we're all related after all, however distantly). We impose our own narratives on life, you may find yours is trapping you somewhere unhealthy.

~ Clara

December 25th, 2016, 01:36 PM
I hate it myself when I don't have control or know what's happening in the future. I can understand what you are going though, the only thing I can say take it one day at a time. Some changes are good even if we are scare or nervous what the outcome is. For me the changes usually turns in a positive.

Just JT
January 2nd, 2017, 08:49 AM
Despite the obvious, how were yiur holidays ty?
What's happening now?

January 2nd, 2017, 04:30 PM
Is there anyone else close to you Ty that you could stay with? I forget how old you are but how many years of high school do you have left. If you don't have an other relative or close friend that would help you out you can go to social services and get placed in a foster home. I know it would be odd but at least you would be close to your dad and be able to go to your school.

January 3rd, 2017, 10:02 PM
Jamie_n and justJT

foster family is completely out of the question my family won't allow that for good reason.
It's all very complicated and I'm so tired discussing it at home I don't feel like explaining it here.

January 4th, 2017, 01:34 AM
No problem my friend. I think you know how much I care about you man. Just trying to be a true friend.

Just JT
January 4th, 2017, 02:05 AM
Are you being given options at all?
Don't explain them, I know that's a pain. Just wondering what they are if any

January 4th, 2017, 03:21 PM
Are you being given options at all?
Don't explain them, I know that's a pain. Just wondering what they are if any

Options? I'm not sure.
It's basically no real options at all.
It's either one of my grandma's or those other relatives I talked about.
Maternal grandma and I won't get along well enough this will end bad in the long run
Other grandma would mean I have to move away anyway since she wouldn't be able to live here.
So I guess it will be me leaving the USA in the end.
Anything else is out of the question and won't be discussed.

Just JT
January 4th, 2017, 03:53 PM
Are you old enough to petition the court to be emancipated?

January 4th, 2017, 10:09 PM
Are you old enough to petition the court to be emancipated?

Um you know my age?! Around the same as yours.
Could do that but how would that improve my situation? No I'm done with legal shit for now.

Just JT
January 5th, 2017, 04:52 AM
Yeah I do. And by the time it's done and all you'd be of age or close to it. That's why they have that. For kids who are close in age

How will that change or make it different?
It'll put all the choices decisions and control in your own hands and not someone else's who has may not have any real interest, or what you want, at hand at all.

January 5th, 2017, 09:05 AM
Yeah, sure I could decide on my own but this does not make my options any better.

Just JT
January 5th, 2017, 09:15 AM
It may not but it might help with what seems being pulled or pushed into going someplace you don't wana go

January 6th, 2017, 12:11 AM
Thanks for the answer in your email Just JT
I am just not sure what to do or think and time is kinda running out.

January 13th, 2017, 12:23 AM
Don't really have an answer but hope things turn out well.