View Full Version : Life is just getting worse and im starting to take suicide as an option

November 27th, 2016, 12:50 AM
So, I dont even know where to start, perhaps from the begining...my real mom was never around so i was pretty much stuck with my step mother that raised me from the age of three. 2 ysars ago she died when i was 13, i am now about to be 16 next month and i have to say alot of shut has happened in those 2 and a half hears of her absentees. After she died my dad was NEVER home and when he was he usually had one if his stuipd friends with him that came from the bad side of town, because of him brinving his disgusting friends over one of his such friends was carrying bed bugs; so we got that running for us, we got the bugs around the time my mother passed so...2 years? Yea, that bug problem got extremly out of had to the point that i would sleep on my working desk. More time passed and eventually i found out that he selled perscription drugs (and also bought) to make money, but he never had money to buy is enough food or handle the infestation. So i told my step brother what was going on and he offered to take me in, at which i declined but he still took in. (Which you think was nice but wait there's more.) He started turning verbally abusive (Ranging from stuipd, retard, and dumba**) towards every little mistake i made and is beginning to threaten me with physical abuse. i tried explaining to him that i had adhd and memory issues and that even tho not all the mistakes i made werent caused by them that he should be a bit more lenient. He didnt believe that i had an problems and so i went as far as getting a doctors note and showing hin that it was on my recored; long story short he eventually accepted that i had adhd and then i got medication for it again (offensive remarks have not stopped). Things started getting really mixed up from there (brother using drugs and such) and so i ended up going and trying to get cps involved by talking to my school counsouler i couldnt have cps called on my brother because of course id be taken away but then so would my brothers son (my step nephew)and i coukd not allow that. I had cps called on my father instead but then cps dropped the case. Sk now im out of ideas and i dont know if im a bad oerson or a good person. Every little mess up that happens i just another weight on my shoulders an idk how much more i can take...please help

November 27th, 2016, 02:06 AM
I'm not certain what course you should take. But if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me here if you'd like

November 27th, 2016, 09:09 AM
It's a tough situation and I'm not quite sure what advice to give ya. Family matters like that are always difficult I know that myself cuz my family is pretty messed up.
So if ya wanna talk I'm here to listen.

November 28th, 2016, 01:18 AM
First of all please don't even think of suicide as an option. I know what it feels like when the amount of internal pain and turmoil is so great that we just simply cannot cope at all and we think that the fastest surest way to get rid of that pain is by suicide. When you feel suicidal please take a step backwards and distance yourself from those thoughts first. Try to separate those feelings and the action. Then call the samaritians or national suicide prevention lifeline to talk about those feelings to help you better cope with those feelings at the moment.

You need to stop thinking that you are the cause for those bad things which are happening because it is not your fault. No one is intrinsically bad and many times others want to make you think that you are so that they can better manipulate you. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.

As for what action you choose to take, none of them seem easy and you probably have to choose the one that you can life with. You can either choose to bear with it till you can move out, get help form youth charities or maybe get CPS involved. We can tell you what is best cos only you know what is happening. But what I do know from experience is that addiction problems can go into a downwards spiral very quickly and everyone will get hurt. I understand that you don't want your nephew to be removed as you will feel guilty if you caused him to be denied his father but this is about you too. While I admire your selflessness, you are also an important and valuable person. Also your nephew may not necessarily be spared from the abuse.

If you feel the need to talk you can always do it here. We will also be there for you, supporting you and cheering you on.

November 30th, 2016, 06:06 AM
Have you tried to contact local authorities? Police may help for the case of child abuse, and social services may have safehouses.