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View Full Version : To go or not to go


Amethyst Rose
November 18th, 2016, 10:11 AM
There's a school trip in a few months focused primarily on government. One of the history teachers at my school takes a few students, who are selected by the staff after writing an essay about why they should be chosen. I've never done well with history/government - it's never held my interest, no matter how hard I try to wrap my head around it. However, a few friends who went last year and feel the same as I do said they had a good time and learned a lot.

So, when the teacher approached me about it, I thought why not give it a go? It was only after I told him yes that I found out the other two students he was considering. This is a trip lasting multiple days/nights, and I would not feel comfortable spending that much time around these people. They've been rude to me and I have no doubt I would feel excluded the entire time and not be able to enjoy myself.

It sounds like a no-brainer, but here's the part stopping me from declining: last year the same teacher approached me about this trip. Again I told him yes I would go, but later on I had to back out of it because I wasn't in a good state mentally and just couldn't deal with anything very well. I don't want him to think I'm not interested, because I am, or that I'm just saying yes to make him happy (he's said before I would be a great person to go). He's pretty understanding, but I don't want to let him down. What should I do?

Endeavour
November 18th, 2016, 10:53 AM
If you feel as though you'd be uncomfortable going with these people, then you should definitely consider not going. There is no point doing something that you think will depress you, even if you think that it's interesting. Your emotional wellbeing should always be considered to be a lot more important than any education/work etc. Don't worry about letting your teacher down, I'm sure he'll understand why. :)

Anniebanannie
November 18th, 2016, 08:14 PM
What if you tell your teacher about the conflict you're feeling? Maybe he'll have an idea about the situation that you haven't thought of. You can always still not go.

Amethyst Rose
November 18th, 2016, 09:30 PM
Thank you both for your replies. I've decided to talk to him when I go back to school after break. Fingers crossed he'll be cool with it and not think I'm just looking for excuses not to go.

Dalcourt
November 19th, 2016, 10:48 AM
Why would you let those other people stop you from doing something new and interesting?
You don't really like them, they had been rude...so what? Chicken out and miss a chance to see, learn, experience something new? Do you want to spend your whole life like that?

I have done stuff like that dozens of time...sometimes it turned out those people weren't so bad after all, sometimes it turned out they were bigger assholes than I thought. But who cares? That's how life and growing up works. Running away is never an answer to anything...and this is a great opportunity to learn a great deal not just about the stuff the trip is about but about living your life.

Amethyst Rose
November 19th, 2016, 11:07 AM
Why would you let those other people stop you from doing something new and interesting?
You don't really like them, they had been rude...so what? Chicken out and miss a chance to see, learn, experience something new? Do you want to spend your whole life like that?

I have done stuff like that dozens of time...sometimes it turned out those people weren't so bad after all, sometimes it turned out they were bigger assholes than I thought. But who cares? That's how life and growing up works. Running away is never an answer to anything...and this is a great opportunity to learn a great deal not just about the stuff the trip is about but about living your life.

I understand what you're saying and I've thought about this. But these people constantly make me feel like shit, and if it's bad at school, it's going to be tenfold being stuck with them for days. I have more opportunities to go, on this trip, not only this year. This isn't 'chickening out' - it's knowing what's best for me so I don't intentionally place myself in a situation that will have a really negative effect on me mentally.

Dalcourt
November 19th, 2016, 11:48 AM
I understand what you're saying and I've thought about this. But these people constantly make me feel like shit, and if it's bad at school, it's going to be tenfold being stuck with them for days. I have more opportunities to go, on this trip, not only this year. This isn't 'chickening out' - it's knowing what's best for me so I don't intentionally place myself in a situation that will have a really negative effect on me mentally.

Of course I understand that but as I said running away and avoiding is never the right answer. Believe me I know what I'm talking about....I used the master of avoiding stuff like that but one day I said...I can't go on like that.
I don't want you to do something you don't feel comfortable with but I just don't make this the way how to live your life. You will miss out on a great deal and regret it one day.

Amethyst Rose
November 29th, 2016, 09:52 PM
Update: I talked to my teacher, and as I had hoped, he wasn't upset or disappointed. He said that the people I mentioned before aren't the only other people applying, he had also approached a few other people. And plus, neither of them have submitted a complete application. He also said he has some influence who goes and can work out rooming/grouping on the trip if either of those people did go. I'm going to apply... it would be a good learning experience.

Just JT
November 29th, 2016, 10:32 PM
I'm glad your going. You should at least apply. At least that way later on if you decide it's not for you, you can always back out. Not the ideal thing to do. But better than wanting to go at the last minute and can't. It's options, it's good.
Opening your windows and doors some to

Dalcourt
November 30th, 2016, 10:52 PM
Update: I talked to my teacher, and as I had hoped, he wasn't upset or disappointed. He said that the people I mentioned before aren't the only other people applying, he had also approached a few other people. And plus, neither of them have submitted a complete application. He also said he has some influence who goes and can work out rooming/grouping on the trip if either of those people did go. I'm going to apply... it would be a good learning experience.

Ah yeah... but trying to back out first cuz it wasn't so important after all :P .That's what I was talking about.