View Full Version : What is the key of happiness?

November 6th, 2016, 06:53 AM
Hello. This will be my first post on VT and here is my story.

I just turned 18 when I moved away from home for university. It is a two-hours flight from where I live. Moving away wasn't easy for me. Being in a new environment and surrounded with new people, sounds great isn't it? Sure, but not always.

I am now in my third month living alone. And I am alone. I've met a lot of people but it seems that no one wants to spend their time with me. Am I a loner? Well I don't consider myself that. Back home I have two really close mates who understands me as a whole. I trust them vice versa. My daily life is just different now.

I have severe anxiety which often makes me depressed. My anxiety also kicks in when I think that I have nobody to share my feelings with. Am I a burden to everyone I've met? I feel unworthy. I feel useless. I head is now filled with suicidal thoughts again. Goodbye.

Just JT
November 6th, 2016, 07:31 AM
Well that sounds like a huge change for anyone. Not just you. I'm sure lots of guys feel that same way. Especially if you left your closest friends behind. But also keep in mind how long it took for you to build the friendships you have with those people. New friendships take time. More than 3 months. That's not easier I know.

About 18 months ago I had a similar experience. I was placed in a foster home in a city I knew nobody. Didn't really know my foster parents, teachers, kids in my neighborhood, school, church nobody. It really sucked, nobody to talk to at all. I left my best friends across the state.

Stay in touch with you friends from home. Email text Facebook what ever. They probably miss being with you also. Talk to your parents regularly. I'm sure they want hear from you and all about how great your doing in school work. Try and keep it positive. But also let them know how your feeling.

At school join some clubs or social groups. Join athletic teams. Just chill with your roommate(s). I'm pretty sure the college has some thing in place for freshmen having issues like this. Counselors can do a lot just by being there and listening.

The suicide thing though, you can't do that ok? That's not an option, it can't be. There are people at school who you can talk to about that to I'm sure. Please do that. Nobody wants you dead. You can't undo that. As valid as your feeling like that's a good option, it's not. You just haven't found the person who's a good match to be a good friend with at school yet. You will. It just takes time.

You made the first step to making this better by posting here. That's what I did to a while back. I found people here were really supportive and friendly. At first I was like wtf? On line friends? But in reality, I've made some really really strong friendships right here on VT. But like irl. It just takes some time investment and work on your part to. So jump in somewhere and join a conversation. Anywhere. You'll see how hast people will want talk and be friends.

I get this isn't easy, but it'll pass and you'll get through it. Trust me on that

November 8th, 2016, 08:30 PM
I know it's a huge change for you and having to adjust to all the new things and people. You need to give it some time. The other people are going through the same thing that you are being alone in a new place. You will make friends too just keep being outgoing and try approach others. If you are really having anxiety and depression that bad and feeling somewhat suicidal you need to get help now. See a college counselor or go to a doctor before it gets worse and consumes you. Please don't consider suicide that is a permanent thing and your problems are only temporary.

November 18th, 2016, 10:12 AM
I can relate a lot with this except that I didn't really meet a lot of people. Im sorry i cannot advice because I'm dealing with the same situation but I hope we'll overcome this.

November 22nd, 2016, 05:47 AM
Suicide is not a solution for your problems. Why do you want to put your life in danger for this small things? Face the world with a smile and confidence. The problem you are facing is very common so don't worry about it. Give yourselves some more time. Try to be more active and make new friends. If the situation is worse, consulting a doctor will be a good option. You can make great friends here. lol..

December 1st, 2016, 11:30 AM
How about you try student services. Perhaps they might be able to pair you up with someone that lives near you so that at least you have someone who you can relate with. Having to start from ground zero is pretty common in uni life. How about staying in the dorms where it might be easier to be included in the social life there. It might be more expensive but a good place to start off with.

Uni life is gonna be slightly different from what were used to. People mostly make casual friends and then gradually get to know each other. It seems that people go for quantity rather than quality sometimes but this depends on what field you are pursuing. This can be very different from just having your 2 best mates.

If you ever feel down or just need someone to chat with try this website. https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat For more long term support do approach the school health service or student services. I am sure that they will be happy to help and that you won't be the first student with those issues that they encounter.

December 2nd, 2016, 12:41 AM
How about making online friends? There are many sites and it will be of great help. We don't need to share our original identity unless we wish to do so.

For relaxation practice yoga. It will give you strength and make your mind at ease.