View Full Version : A whole new world - where I am in control

October 26th, 2016, 04:48 PM
April 2016 I got the crazy idea to go on exchange to France. 2 months ago my plane landed in Paris and I was left in a new country where I knew nobody and had next to no knowledge of the language. 7 weeks ago I started at a French high school. Today, about 2 hours ago, I asked a new French friend to hang out with me.

Now, you will get the significance of today's achievement when I tell you that I suffer from social anxiety, and one of its manifestations is extreme fear of taking initiative in social situations. Add the language barrier and insecurity, and I can tell you I'm pretty damn proud of that (probably grammatically incorrect) text.

Now, you will get the significance of my decision of going away when I tell you that for the last 3 years my mother's problems, including anxiety, hypochondria and generally extreme neuroticism, have dominated my life. My parents are divorced and she likes to dump her shit on me because I am "her rock" ( not by choice). And I love her to death but I know that our relationship is not healthy. In fact, we have some sort of codependency thing going on I guess... So leaving her for a year took some courage, stupidity and craziness and I'm pretty damn proud to have had enough of all that in me.

I cannot say stuff has been going perfect. Language barrier, culture shock and host family problems have all had an impact on my experience. But it has just begun, right??? And how it continues is up to me. And with today's achievement I feel invincible.

October 29th, 2016, 03:52 AM
WOO! Go for it! CX