View Full Version : So I came out to my parents...

September 26th, 2016, 06:24 AM
Yeah so title says it all, came out to my parents. Mom was totally ok with it, she basically already knew. Mother's instinct, I guess. My dad, however, is an entirely different ball of yarn. He didn't act overly opposed to the idea, but I could tell he was adding it to the list of things that make me a disappointment. What he told me was "Now I don't think you're gay or bi or whatever until you've decided whether you like to have a dick in your mouth or something else." (Very straightforward man, my father) So I know that's basically him trying to convince himself that I'm "normal" (in his eyes anyway) but for some reason I've been wondering about that. How do we actually figure out our preference? I just remember thinking like "Wow he's cute" in school for the longest time, so idk. Even if what he said is how you tell, then I'm pretty sure I can tell ;) Anyway, keeping in mind that that's complete bullshit, I guess my question is how did you guys find out you were gay (or bi)?

September 26th, 2016, 07:03 AM
Skylark I realized I was into guys as well as girls when I enjoyed kissing, and being kissed, giving and receiving oral, and cuddling up with a guy just as much as with a girl. I have only been with two guys, but several girls. And, I must say that both guys were better at oral than any of the girls! Yeah, when you like a dick in your mouth you will absolutely know that you like guys. If you discover that girls do not arouse you and you only want to be with a guy then you are gay. BUT, you are young do not be in a rush to label yourself. I was 17 the first time I was with a guy. I was nearly 19 when I first had intercourse. I am in a committed relationship with that guy, however, we both admit that a hot girl turns us on. When we part ways I am sure each of us will date girls again. We will at some point part ways due to our career paths. For now do what you must and hope for the best with your parents. My parents, and my bf's parents are very accepting of us. We did not "come out" we just were and they recognized that we were a couple. You are in the open now so do not sneak around with a guy, but at the same time do not be in their face with it. Keep the PDA on the down low, there is no gain in flaunting the relationship to your parents, especially your father. Good luck and PM me if you want to talk. Yes, you are normal. You are what God made you and for you that is absolutely NORMAL!

September 26th, 2016, 07:04 AM
I can't answer your question of how I found out I am gay or bi because well, I'm not gay or bi, but I do want to say that's great you came out to your parents :) it must have taken a lot of courage. Hopefully your dad will come around, just give him time.

September 26th, 2016, 07:35 AM
Well done Skylark and well done to your mum for accepting it, hope things work out on with your dad.

The Byrd
September 26th, 2016, 11:28 AM
Congrats on coming out, bro! I'm sure that your dad will come around with time and it's great to hear that you two haven't fallen out over it or anything.

But to answer your question, the only way (in my mind) that one can find out that they are gay is by realising what they're attracted to. It's a difficult one to explain really since it's not something that you just decide.

September 26th, 2016, 07:32 PM
hey Skylark, congrats. happy your mom is accepting, hope your dad will be too.
i figured it out when i wanted my best friend to be more than a FWB. i wanted him to be my boyfriend, and he felt the same way. our parents are cool with it and he spends more time at my house than he does at home. basically he's almost moved in with us which for me is awesome

September 26th, 2016, 08:32 PM
But to answer your question, the only way (in my mind) that one can find out that they are gay is by realising what they're attracted to.

See that's pretty much what I think but what he said had me wondering. I know I'm attracted to guys as well as girls, I've always known that basically, even when I thought being gay (and bi) was wrong or something back in 6th grade. Dark times. Idk. I think you've hit it spot on :D

September 27th, 2016, 12:11 PM
Well I knew for sure that I was gay at 12. You should know in your heart what you are. You dads statement is kind of right. You should definitely know if you want to suck dick and have anal sex either top or bottom or both. You will be ok just start dating and you will find out your true feeling. I am happy for you coming out and having no adverse reactions. I wish my coming out would have been better. Good luck man.

September 27th, 2016, 02:20 PM
As I have said in my signature, I'm still questioning my own sexuality, but like some have said, I think about guys more than girls. I have been with both in a physical way, but it seems that with guys I'm more open to things than with girls, plus I enjoy what we do move (with guys that is). I've known this since I was like 14 my first experience with another boy and it really excited me. The girls I've been with (not a virgin with them btw) are ok, but no real attraction, not even the sex tbh. With a guy I can spend all night. My problem, like yours is what am I. Am I gay or bi. Still not sure.

September 29th, 2016, 01:08 PM
I don't know whats with me-girls get me hard
and so do cute guys-never had second thoughts
about guys before I was 12-puberty hit and when
in gym one day shirts came off I started thinking
differently-I don't think about kissing a guy-wouldn't
want to but I fantasize some of making out and some
times I wonder y-hormones suck.

Btw-Glad to hear ur Mom understands --Skylark.