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davdev17
September 8th, 2016, 05:48 PM
Can I get some feedback on a poem I wrote about depression? Please be honest.

The Shadow Man
Everywhere that I go the Shadow Man is there.
He causes my doubts and troubles and despair.
When I am starting to feel good
He covers me like a dark hood
And sucks all those feelings away.

Sometimes he makes me feel numb
But usually he makes me feel like scum.
Hurting me is his only job.
He enjoys making my heart throb
I ache because he will always stay.

He will knock me down and stand on my chest.
For hurting me is what he does best.
He makes me feel like there is nothing I know about.
He fills me with sadness and self-doubt.
I donít know what to do today.

The Shadow Man makes me hate
Myself and I feel lots of weight
On my chest and I feel like Iíll die.
I donít know why I should try.
But when people ask I say Iím okay.

Phosphene
September 8th, 2016, 06:18 PM
I really like your poem, lots of people can relate to that. I know how it feels to experience hopelessness and be filled with self-doubt; I doubt myself very often actually. Good job on the poem, and if writing helps you cope/convey your feelings keep it up!

jamie_n5
September 10th, 2016, 09:41 AM
That is a very nice poem man.

Atlantis
September 10th, 2016, 05:05 PM
Thank you for sharing this poem with us, David. I'm sure a lot of people on here, including myself, can relate to this. Writing poems or anything really can be a great way to get yur feelings across or to empty your mind, so if this is something that works for you (or indeed anyone else) then go for it!

Emerald Dream
September 10th, 2016, 06:02 PM
Very well written, David. There are a lot of things I can't identify with, but this is something I definitely do. I can feel what you are trying to get across here. I'd love to see you write some more.

jxxx_z
September 13th, 2016, 01:56 PM
The poem is great, and I'm glad you've found this creative outlet unlike so many people who are bottled up :yes:

Flapjack
September 13th, 2016, 01:57 PM
I love it!! The structure is excellent and the content is making me tear up!! :)