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PlasmaHam
August 24th, 2016, 03:38 PM
I know this sub-forum is more focused about telling life stories or asking if people are gay/bi, but I feel that this topic would fit the most here. LGBT+ are my target audience for this discussion, but all are welcome to join in.

To the topic at hand. I was reading currently, and I stumbled across a little blog where people were discussing whether people should feel obligated to be attracted to transgender people of the gender they are attracted to, or if attraction to transgender is your choice and that you shouldn't feel obligated to be attracted to transgender people.

There were LGTB+ people who said it was your choice, and there were ones who said the opposite. There were straight people who said it wasn't your choice and there were those who stated the opposite. This is one of the few LGBT+ issues where the gay community is split. So, what is your opinion on this subject.

Now, a separate but related question. Should transgenders feel morally obligated to disclose their status as such to someone they wish to have a relationship with? If a trans-girl wants to date a guy, should she tell him that she is trans before hand?

I'll remain largely absent from this conversation. I have my views, but I am curious of yours. Have fun!

Flapjack
August 24th, 2016, 03:57 PM
I think you can't tell people what to be sexually attracted to. I have met trans people that are open about being trans and understand it not being people's thing but I understand why trans people would be offended by someone not being attracted to them as they do identify with that gender but yeah we can't control who we love :)

I think a trans person should tell a potential partner that they're trans but I see why they would not want to :)

Dalcourt
August 24th, 2016, 10:00 PM
I really don't understand how you could be obligated to be attracted to anyone. Attractions are subjective...you aren't attracted to every single individual of the gender you are attracted to so how should this work? I really don't understand that maybe you could provide the source so I can read the original discussion cuz like that I really don't understand how argumentation in this case should work, sorry.

As for telling some whether you are transgender or not. Like after you are fully the gender you wanted to be after surgery and hormone taking? Well I understand that people might feel reluctant due to prejudices and rejection they might experience but if you want a serious relationship people should tell. Trust is a huge aspect of a working relationship and starting it on secrets might be the wrong way since the partner might find out one way or other and feel somehow fooled by the transgender person.

jamie_n5
August 25th, 2016, 10:12 AM
I think that both straight and gays can be attracted to a transgender person of their chosen sexuality. That would be just as natural as any attraction in my eyes.
On your second point I feel that a transgender person should really tell someone early on that they are trans. so it doesn't come as a shock. I truly don't know how I would take that unless it happened to me. I think if the transgender person were going to go all the way and have the actual GTB surgery and complete the transformation I would be more accepting to have a serious relationship. Me being gay would find it difficult if the person didn't have the surgery because of me not being attracted to female sexual parts. This is a very difficult subject to discuss and think about. Thank you for starting this thread. I am interested in what others will say.

zack.zack
August 25th, 2016, 11:51 AM
I think you can't tell people what to be sexually attracted to. I have met trans people that are open about being trans and understand it not being people's thing but I understand why trans people would be offended by someone not being attracted to them as they do identify with that gender but yeah we can't control who we love :)

I think a trans person should tell a potential partner that they're trans but I see why they would not want to :)

I would have to agree with Flapjack on both answers 1)We have no control over who we fall in love with and 2)I think their status should be something that is discussed with a potential partner.

Babs
August 25th, 2016, 08:10 PM
It's stupid to tell people who they should or shouldn't not be attracted to.

LiamC
August 29th, 2016, 12:15 PM
Nobody is obligated to be attracted to anything they're not. Some trans guys will be attractive to me, some won't, just like biological guys.

pjones
August 31st, 2016, 03:19 PM
i think you're obligated to be a good person, kind to children and animals, and open doors for people older than you are. i'm sexually attracted to certain types of people, both genders. if a transgender person falls into that range i'll be attracted to them no matter what's under their clothes.

jxxx_z
September 11th, 2016, 03:40 PM
I don't feel obligated, and I hate people who think you HAVE to be attracted to trans people.

Bull
September 11th, 2016, 06:21 PM
No one is "obligated" to be attracted to anyone. You are attracted to an individual or you are not.

Karkat
September 11th, 2016, 07:01 PM
I think you're attracted to who you're attracted to. As a trans person myself, I wouldn't feel offended or oppressed if a straight female or a gay male wasn't attracted to me. You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone.