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View Full Version : Gender questioning...


Equinox1
August 23rd, 2016, 07:45 AM
*If you're going to be rude then don't bother posting*

I'm 16 years old and I'm AFAB. Ever since I was a little kid, I identified as male. I thought that the doctors had literally guessed my sex wrong and had tricked everyone into thinking I was female. Nothing too bad happened until puberty, I felt some dysphoria until then but it was tolerable. I started puberty when I was 10 years old, possibly a bit earlier. I used to (and still do) cry when I had to wear a bra, having breasts in general and having periods. I developed a lot of mental health problems: depression, self-harm, trichotillomania, disordered eating, compulsions like hand-wringing. I used to and still do get panic attacks from being forced to wear female or too tight clothing. I attempted suicide twice. I did identify as male and I still do for now.

I'm questioning a little because lately, my dysphoria has mellowed out a bit. I'd still rather be male than female but I don't feel such a strong need. I feel like sometimes it would maybe be okay to be a tomboy. I'd like to be a girl in relationships but of course, it's easier to be a straight girl than a gay guy so maybe that's why. I'll probably still go ahead with SRS and HRT but I've been reconsidering lately. This might be a passing thing; recently I posted on an LGBT forum about being sick of being told that I wasn't male and being ignored. Well, this FTM guy posted and said that he saw me as I am and he was really listening to me and I cried for like ten minutes out of relief.

Am I bigender, genderfluid, something similar or is it just passing curiosity?

Flapjack
August 23rd, 2016, 08:15 AM
It sounds like you're more genderfluid than bigender but I wouldn't worry about labeling yourself too much buddy!!:)

jamie_n5
August 23rd, 2016, 10:39 AM
I feel very bad for you. It has to be so frustrating and confusing having the emotions and feelings you have to go through. What do your parents feel about this? Are they of any help or understanding of your situation? I hope that you can get started on the right hormones or therapy to be who you want to be. My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine what you are going through and how you must feel. I hope that you can sort things out and become the person that you want to be.

Nosuba
August 24th, 2016, 11:30 AM
I guess u are genderfluid. But do not worry about your 'gender'. You don't have to be the stereotype of girl or the stereotype of boy. You are just you, no labels.