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DriveAlive
August 9th, 2016, 06:37 PM
I am not sure if this thread belongs here or in ROTW. It will depend on how this conversation develops.

There are a lot of threads here recently on transgender bathroom rights and the like. Rarely do I admit this, but transgenderism is a topic on which I feel woefully unequiped to comment on. I do not know any transgenders and I do not really even understand the concept. I think VT would be the perfect place for me to ask some of the questions I have for transgenders and then have a discussion with them.

Just to get the discussion going, I will lay out some general questions and you can feel free to answer whatever you want.

When did you decide that you were transgender?
What events led to this decision?
How does being transgender feel?
If you have started to transition, how do you now feel in comparison?
How does being transgender affect your daily life?
What is the difference between transgenderism, transsexualism, and transvestism?

I feel like these questions provide a good starting point for the conversation, but I do not want to limit it to just answering them. However, I do want to stress that this is not meant to be a condemnation of transgenderism nor do I want any posts about why you are blatantly opposed to it. We will get to discussing the issue later after people have responded.

Alluring, Paraxiom, Mimikyu I tagged you because I think you will have some insights. Thank you to anyone else who takes the time to respond.

Just JT
August 9th, 2016, 07:13 PM
I want to make a first comment, and don't take this the wrong way. But I don't believe someone chooses they are transgender. They simply are, and through a normal, natural development through puberty, they learn or discover their sexuality/gender/ or identify with who they are. What I'd consider anyone else coming of age realizing their own sexuality or gender.

It's easy being straight, it's what people expect.

Flapjack
August 9th, 2016, 07:36 PM
I would love to provide you with some insights but I am not transgender, sorry!!

jamie_n5
August 10th, 2016, 09:42 AM
I want to make a first comment, and don't take this the wrong way. But I don't believe someone chooses they are transgender. They simply are, and through a normal, natural development through puberty, they learn or discover their sexuality/gender/ or identify with who they are. What I'd consider anyone else coming of age realizing their own sexuality or gender.

It's easy being straight, it's what people expect.

I agree with JT it is like being born straight, gay, bi or lesbian. That is the way you are born. I think that you started a good topic by the way.

DriveAlive
August 10th, 2016, 10:02 AM
I agree with JT it is like being born straight, gay, bi or lesbian. That is the way you are born. I think that you started a good topic by the way.

I did not mean to suggest that it is something chosen. I used the word "decide" to be purposely vague with my language in order to give more latitude to those who choose to answer. I meant to say when they came to the decision or discovered that they were transgender and it was not just a phase or feeling.

The Byrd
August 10th, 2016, 06:56 PM
I'm not trans so I'm not qualified to comment here but I'd say that people don't 'decide' that they are. I'm gay and I didn't just one day say that I'm going to be gay. It's more of a realisation than it is a decision.

Hideous
August 10th, 2016, 07:19 PM
First things first, I'm aware that I'm a biological male and I do not plan on transitioning. I do not have conflicting thoughts of my gender identity and the organs I was born with. If I were to define transgender, it would most likely mean transcending beyond ordinary gender roles. Non binary; not following what society has constructed (i.e. makeup for girls, sports for boys). Being transgender is like any other, indifferent.

However I would like to add, it's more of a decision with what I am most comfortable with. I wouldn't say it affects my everyday life, everyone that I surround myself with are accepting of it. However, outside of home, it's a challenge because you can easily rub someone the wrong way if they find you "different".

-

Transgenderism, means to identify with a gender other than what you were assigned at birth.

Transvestism, means to act or dress like the opposite sex (commonly a fetish).

Lastly, transsexualism, is a conflict between the physical sex organs of the body and what you identify with as a gender.

DriveAlive
August 10th, 2016, 11:33 PM
First things first, I'm aware that I'm a biological male and I do not plan on transitioning. I do not have conflicting thoughts of my gender identity and the organs I was born with. If I were to define transgender, it would most likely mean transcending beyond ordinary gender roles. Non binary; not following what society has constructed (i.e. makeup for girls, sports for boys). Being transgender is like any other, indifferent.

However I would like to add, it's more of a decision with what I am most comfortable with. I wouldn't say it affects my everyday life, everyone that I surround myself with are accepting of it. However, outside of home, it's a challenge because you can easily rub someone the wrong way if they find you "different".

-

Transgenderism, means to identify with a gender other than what you were assigned at birth.

Transvestism, means to act or dress like the opposite sex (commonly a fetish).

Lastly, transsexualism, is a conflict between the physical sex organs of the body and what you identify with as a gender.
Thank you for your response. I was under the impression that most transgenders believed that they were actually born into the wrong body.

DriveAlive
August 12th, 2016, 03:38 PM
I would appreciate some more discussion on this topic than it is currently getting. Let me share a few of my ideas about transgenderism and then anyone can jump in a try to discuss them with me.

I cannot decide whether or not transgenderism has to do with the person having the wrong brain for their body or if it is more linked to their sexual identity. I tend to think that it has a sexual component because the satisfaction comes from changing their appearance. Also, I do not understand the push to undergo surgery or hormone treatments because this seems far to physically destructive and unhealthy.

There also seems to be a growing number of people claiming that their young child is transgender and allowing them to dress as the opposite gender or even start hormone treatments before puberty. I do not understand how anyone can know this before puberty.

Paraxiom
August 12th, 2016, 07:12 PM
DriveAlive

I am not sure if this thread belongs here or in ROTW. It will depend on how this conversation develops.

There are a lot of threads here recently on transgender bathroom rights and the like. Rarely do I admit this, but transgenderism is a topic on which I feel woefully unequiped to comment on. I do not know any transgenders and I do not really even understand the concept. I think VT would be the perfect place for me to ask some of the questions I have for transgenders and then have a discussion with them.

Just to get the discussion going, I will lay out some general questions and you can feel free to answer whatever you want.

Apologies for not being here till now. Thanks for setting this up. I'll answer your first questions to get started.


When did you decide that you were transgender? I went with the identity 9 months ago.

What events led to this decision? Never getting on with puberty and afterward, which is ongoing. Made connections between the transgender/etc terms and what I was experiencing immediately before identifying as such, even though I knew about and looked into transgenders for years before.


How does being transgender feel? There is a conflict in my mind when I 'feel male-ness', image myself as male, and become aware of the certain aspects of my body. It's an uncomfortable situation where the feeling of conflict is always subtle, but gets much stronger if certain thoughts/events make you more aware of it. As with many things, there are particularly good days, and there are particularly bad days.


If you have started to transition, how do you now feel in comparison? Much better than before, but with a while to go.


How does being transgender affect your daily life? I never much had a desire to swim, but anyway I don't swim with other people around. I am afraid of how others will perceive me not clothed in whatever way, because how I see myself is as this uncomfortable wrongness.

What is the difference between transgenderism, transsexualism, and transvestism?

Transgenders are people who identify with a certain gender, for which that gender does not match with their perception of what gender their body's sex implies (that'll be my definition for now).

Transsexuals are transgenders who either desire to permanently alter their body's appearance so that its implied gender matches / is similar with the gender they identify with, or transgenders who are in the process of / have fulfilled doing the above.

Transvestites are people who practice the wearing of clothes, which imply a gender that is different to the gender the person identifies with, and/or which imply a gender that is different to the implied gender of the person's apparent body. Transvestites may or may not be transgenders.



I feel like these questions provide a good starting point for the conversation, but I do not want to limit it to just answering them. However, I do want to stress that this is not meant to be a condemnation of transgenderism nor do I want any posts about why you are blatantly opposed to it. We will get to discussing the issue later after people have responded.

Alright, I'm good with that.


Thank you for your response. I was under the impression that most transgenders believed that they were actually born into the wrong body.

Many do, it's a discussion point that can be / is mentioned both within and outside the transgender community.


When I (try to) abstract from my personal experience, I am around this sort of POV:

Right think of your consciousness as being inside your brain, because it is. Now imagine if someone took your male brain and put you inside a women's body. Would you then become mentally ill? That is being transgender in a nutshell. You were born into the wrong body.


In the past I would have agreed with you, but now I don't see that it is as it being about the 'wrong' body. That implies that there is a 'right' body, which means that, for example, a XY human body is 'meant' to be coincidental with a human mind which identifies as male.

I see gender to be a more complex mental structure, for which aspects of it certainly have good trends in coinciding with certain biological sexes (not necessities of course), but without need to see the mind-body 'pairing' as right/wrong.


With my experience though personally, I feel a mix of the above with a majority of just feeling like I am living with a body that is wrong in some ways. It's awkward at best just in my mind. It 'immediately' feels wrong.


I would appreciate some more discussion on this topic than it is currently getting. Let me share a few of my ideas about transgenderism and then anyone can jump in a try to discuss them with me.

Alright.



I cannot decide whether or not transgenderism has to do with the person having the wrong brain for their body or if it is more linked to their sexual identity. I tend to think that it has a sexual component because the satisfaction comes from changing their appearance. Also, I do not understand the push to undergo surgery or hormone treatments because this seems far to physically destructive and unhealthy.

I don't feel any sexual desires in association with feeling awkward with myself physically, or with wanting to change in certain ways.

I don't want to do any surgery, I don't see it happening. I have considered hormone treatment but realised that only inhibiting 'male hormones' and not taking 'female hormones' leaves the body with a hormone deficiency which results in weaker bones over time. HRT can and is done properly such that side effects and risks are minimal and their presence acknowledged, but this is within limits of personal safety of course. I'm not going to allow myself to get osteoporosis so that I can achieve the state where my body is neutral of sex hormones; I need healthy bones more.

HRT necessarily halts the maintaining of certain physiological features, so that is technically destruction, but it also necessarily creates and maintains other physiological features. It's a transformation, so destruction is part of it. Other than that, it's not unhealthy or destructive to the body and health in general.



There also seems to be a growing number of people claiming that their young child is transgender and allowing them to dress as the opposite gender or even start hormone treatments before puberty. I do not understand how anyone can know this before puberty.

I am not for the practice of HRT before puberty; during the earlier stages perhaps, but only with hormone inhibitors such that no permanent changes are made yet. I'm okay for parents/guardians allowing their children to try out other gender roles before puberty as long as it's understood by the child what this means, and that it's only a social change.