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AceOfHearts
August 8th, 2016, 02:06 AM
My mum passed away from a violent brain tumour late last year. It's thrown me into a massive pit of anxiety, depresiion, OCD, eating disorders (which I have posted in the eating disorders thread) and I just need general help. Why has it all carried on so long? I'm meant to have gotten over it. It been 9 months but something in my head keeps holding on to it. thanks for any help.

Emeka
August 8th, 2016, 03:00 AM
My mum passed away from a violent brain tumour late last year. It's thrown me into a massive pit of anxiety, depresiion, OCD, eating disorders (which I have posted in the eating disorders thread) and I just need general help. Why has it all carried on so long? I'm meant to have gotten over it. It been 9 months but something in my head keeps holding on to it. thanks for any help.

Please accept my condolence on the passing of your mother. Who says you are meant to have gotten over it?

Endeavour
August 8th, 2016, 05:51 AM
Your mom and yourself would have had such a close bond that it might take this long to get over it. Everyone accepts it at their own rate, 9 months might seem like a long time but some people can take years (but don't let that worry you). Talking on here to any of us can help if you need it. There is also this guide (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=89128) which you may want to read if you haven't already. Stay strong ok :)

Periphery
August 8th, 2016, 06:37 AM
My mum passed away from a violent brain tumour late last year. It's thrown me into a massive pit of anxiety, depresiion, OCD, eating disorders (which I have posted in the eating disorders thread) and I just need general help. Why has it all carried on so long? I'm meant to have gotten over it. It been 9 months but something in my head keeps holding on to it. thanks for any help.

Well, first of all sorry for your loss. I'm no expert on these things but I can give some degree of advice. Don't let your emotions bottle up. You'll only make it worse on yourself so please, talk to people when you have to, cry when you have to but also don't let yourself slip away either. Everyone deals differently with grief, so nobody should tell you you are meant to move on at a certain moment. Allot of people have trouble moving on and I understand if you do.

All else I can say is that you should know you don't have to go trough this alone. People are here to talk to you, support you. We're all here if you need people to talk to so please do, and hang on in there. I know I didn't give much advice but I tried. If you feel like you need someone to talk to or if you need to vent we are right here for you, stay strong there.

Just JT
August 8th, 2016, 07:42 AM
There's a lot of really good advise here. I'm no stranger to lose myself, so I get how you feel. If your not already talking to someone, like a professional counselor, I'd make that suggestion. Main reason the help find ways for you to connect with your emotions and manage them well.

As far as how long it takes? There is no set standard or guideline. It's all different. It's a process and is different for everyone. And everyone griefs differently. Just don't be afraid to show your emotions and express how you feel. That's like the biggest thing. If you keep it inside, all that energy, you lose sight of what it is and what it's for. And eventually it'll turn to negative energy. And what happens to that and how it comes out, how that energy is used, is what can be co deeming.

So 9 months huh? First year, first year to do everything without mom. Christmas, Easter, birthdays, seasons etc. Just take those times that you experience with out her like that and reflect on all the good times you had with her on those dates and times. And on the 1 year anniversary, be with close friends and family. Stay busy, go to the movies, out to eat, but also visit mom on that day. It's when she'll be missing you the most as well.

Peace

SethfromMI
August 8th, 2016, 08:12 AM
oh man, I am so very sorry :(

for something like that, there is not a time table to get over it. as far as the eating disorders and stuff related to it, have you seen a counselor? sometimes we all need a little extra help from someone who is trained to help people in such a situation. after this period of time, that is what I would try to do.

very heartbreaking though man, there is no shame in needing help, esp in that situation :(

jamie_n5
August 8th, 2016, 06:11 PM
Your mom will be in your heart and in your memory forever. It is natural and normal to grieve. I lost my little brother 13 years ago and I miss him and think of him almost every day. I also lost a close friend to an accident this week and it will take me a long long time to get over that too. You may need professional help with the depression and eating disorder however.