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Ineedyou
August 8th, 2016, 01:31 AM
I've been working up the courage to come out to my best friend, but everytime I feel ready I have doubts. My friend is really close with me and I dont want to ruin it. The thing that gives me doubt is that he jokes a lot, so I don't know how he will take it. I've been slight hints to him for a while, and he seems to be catching on, but I want to actually tell him. Im just scared he wont take it well, he has a very conservative family. I dont want our friendship to change, but Im tired of hiding it.

AceOfHearts
August 8th, 2016, 01:58 AM
If he can't accept you for who you are then that's his fault. You're an incredible human and if he changes is the perspective on you just because of you not being here then he needs a good slap. I think you should come out. Stay strong my friend!

ska8er
August 8th, 2016, 08:01 AM
Does he make jokes bout gay guys? U can get
a clue on how he will accept u by this but if he
is any kind of a best friend he will accept u as u.
U tell him but slowly only if u really think that he
will take it without losing ur friendship. Whos knows
maybe hes interested in u.

Just JT
August 8th, 2016, 08:57 AM
It's a tough call tbh. On one hand you got someone making jokes about it. Yeah, some are kinda funny. But still, he might be opening the door for you to. So it might be a really good thing.

On the other ha d, it's a calculatable risk. If he rejects you cause of who you are, then he never was your friend, friends don't do that to friends. His family values might not be shared by him. You could also bring it up one day, ask his opinion. But if your that close it probably already has. So you probably already know. Either way coming out is huge, hard choice.

Way I see it is this. If you tell him, you can't take it back, ever, then he'll always know. And that's that. If you just live your life as you desire, it will simply become know as you may not be hiding it. And if people seem surprised and ask why you didn't say anything, I'd say idk, why didn't you say your sexuality? Why didn't you ask me? People should t assume someone's straight cause there in the closet.

But also he's your best friend. If he was gay, and did t tell you for what ever amount of time, how would you feel? I mean best friends are best friends and share that kinda stuff right?

Sorry I'm in reality I'm not much help here, I'm more playing devils advocate really. Just pointing out some stuff I think of and maybe it'll help you in making that decision.

Good luck, let us know how you made out.

FYI don't think I've heard to many bad coming out stories here

zack.zack
August 8th, 2016, 11:46 AM
If hes is TRULY the friend you believe him to be, then there should be no problems with you coming out to him. If you are having doubts about doing it, then it sounds like you are also having doubts about the genuineness of your friendship. Maybe you need to confirm your friendship first to rid yourself of any doubts, and once you do that, then you can decide on if you should tell him or not.

ashdaniel
August 8th, 2016, 05:40 PM
The hardest part to is tell the first person. It is scary to tell anyone about your biggest secret. It was difficult for me to come out to my friend as bi but I know friends don't give a f about it. Now I pretty open to tell people my sexuality but not my family yet. If he is your true friend then this wouldn't bother him.

jamie_n5
August 8th, 2016, 06:01 PM
If he is truly your friend he will accept it and you. I had a few friends that were kinda shocked or put me off at first. I don't think I lost a single friend. You can do it and good luck.

pjones
August 9th, 2016, 06:01 PM
hope you can find a way to tell him, and hopefully he's as good a friend as you believe he is and will stand by you.
best of luck. lots of folks here to support you no matter what happens

The Byrd
August 10th, 2016, 07:06 PM
I don't think him joking about homosexuality is a very good indicator of whether or not he will take it well. One of my best friends jokes about homosexuality all the time and even uses 'gay' and 'faggot' as an unsult but he's not actually homophobic. That being said, I recommend that you try and ask his thoughts on homosexuality first before actually telling him so that you can salvage some sort of relationship if he is. It's up to you though.