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Skylark
August 1st, 2016, 09:15 PM
For the third time, I had a huge chance to come out to my best friend. I chickened the fuck out. He even asked me if I was about to come out and I blew it off. Anyone have any tips or advice regarding this?

Flapjack
August 1st, 2016, 09:21 PM
I have had a few people come out to me:) I honestly would relex as it is not a big deal at all! Whenever friends have come out to me I've just been like how awesome and how long have you known and is there anyone then you like? Hope this helps a lil :)

Skylark
August 1st, 2016, 09:47 PM
I have had a few people come out to me:) I honestly would relex as it is not a big deal at all! Whenever friends have come out to me I've just been like how awesome and how long have you known and is there anyone then you like? Hope this helps a lil :)

Thanks for the advice, but the best friend in question is very cynical and sarcastic, as am I. That's what drew us to be friends, I guess. I doubt he'll take it supportively, more like... apathetically. He most likely won't care. And don't tell me to just not come out, I really want to get it off my chest, you know?

Flapjack
August 1st, 2016, 09:50 PM
Thanks for the advice, but the best friend in question is very cynical and sarcastic, as am I. That's what drew us to be friends, I guess. I doubt he'll take it supportively, more like... apathetically. He most likely won't care. And don't tell me to just not come out, I really want to get it off my chest, you know?
Just because he has that persona doesn't mean he can't be serious and supportive:) I doubt he will care that much and he shouldn't because it is not a big deal!

Skylark
August 1st, 2016, 10:03 PM
Just because he has that persona doesn't mean he can't be serious and supportive:) I doubt he will care that much and he shouldn't because it is not a big deal!

Thank you so much. I'm already set to go over to his house this weekend, I'll tell him then.

Flapjack
August 1st, 2016, 10:04 PM
Thank you so much. I'm already set to go over to his house this weekend, I'll tell him then.
You're very welcome XD I wish you luck!!:) You must let us know how it goes!!!

Skylark
August 2nd, 2016, 04:47 AM
You're very welcome XD I wish you luck!!:) You must let us know how it goes!!!

I will. :D you've offered me the most help I've gotten since I joined vt, and this is no exception.

lemondrop
August 2nd, 2016, 07:27 AM
Welll... JUST DO IT :D , don't think much,tell him that fast,more you think the further you get ^.^. Don't think about " what if..." ; GL mate

Just JT
August 2nd, 2016, 10:54 AM
A good friend on line one time not to long ago was struggling with the same thing and he asked me what I thought and if he should tell his best now or later. I asked him how he'd feel if his best told him he was gay like 5 years after he knew.

My friend went on to say how he'd be pissed off cause he never shared that with him, that he should trusted him, and that best friends like that share stuff like that. The. He stoped texting and read his own words. Realized his friend would probably feel the same as he did.

Friends are attracted to each other cause of things they have in common. And since you seem to know each other, seems like you already know how he'd take it, and he seems to already have guessed. So what's the holdup? :)

Skylark
August 2nd, 2016, 11:24 AM
A good friend on line one time not to long ago was struggling with the same thing and he asked me what I thought and if he should tell his best now or later. I asked him how he'd feel if his best told him he was gay like 5 years after he knew.

My friend went on to say how he'd be pissed off cause he never shared that with him, that he should trusted him, and that best friends like that share stuff like that. The. He stoped texting and read his own words. Realized his friend would probably feel the same as he did.

Friends are attracted to each other cause of things they have in common. And since you seem to know each other, seems like you already know how he'd take it, and he seems to already have guessed. So what's the holdup? :)

Oh, I don't know! I'm pretty sure that most of the girls and/or my friends at school have guessed at this point. I guess I don't want to turn into everyone's gay friend that's just fucking there. You know that guy, right? I fucking hate being that guy.

ska8er
August 2nd, 2016, 03:55 PM
I guess first I would ask what he thinks of
guys who r gay and then whatever he answers
would give u a clue of what his feelings r on the
matter-u said he thought u were going to come
out to him so that in itself is a clue-if he is one
of u best friends I think he would understand.
Do u think he is gay? Maybe he is giving u a
hint about himself.

jamie_n5
August 3rd, 2016, 05:39 PM
Just do it my friend things will be alright. If he is truly your friend he will accept you just fine.

Nosuba
August 5th, 2016, 05:28 AM
Maybe some of this might help u:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3ECU6xtp68
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsETjp22hvE

pjones
August 6th, 2016, 09:39 AM
I hope you can find a way to tell him. It seems he may already know or at least suspect it and he hasn't broken off the friendship. My guess is that he'll support you and you'll still be friends.
Good luck.

Just JT
August 6th, 2016, 09:46 AM
Yeah, plus it's the weekend now!!
*update required*

Lol!!

jockeyboy97
August 7th, 2016, 10:17 PM
I know it's very hard to come out and say those words. I just did it this past week to my parents. I agree with all the comments given by the other posters many good points. I feel he does suspect you are and is waiting for you to say something. It looks like he is prepared and I think he will support you. Could he possibly be gay also? Good luck to you and remember you have a good support team here on VT. I know because the support team helped me.

jockeyboy97
August 7th, 2016, 10:29 PM
I like the songs.:D

steellord321
August 7th, 2016, 11:05 PM
Oh, I don't know! I'm pretty sure that most of the girls and/or my friends at school have guessed at this point. I guess I don't want to turn into everyone's gay friend that's just fucking there. You know that guy, right? I fucking hate being that guy.

if by "blew it off" means you didn't say "no i'm not gay!" then you pretty much came out, he knows

if you don't wanna be that guy, just come out, get it over with, don't let it become gossip. Then after that just act like its NBD. That doesn't mean hide it again, just make it a small part of you

ashdaniel
August 8th, 2016, 05:47 PM
I think he is already knew if he is your close friend. Maybe he is waiting for you to tell him. It hard to say but "just do it, nothing is impossible. Don't let your dream be dream. Yesterday you say tomorrow. JUST DO IT." Just let the word out and you will feel much better.

jamie_n5
August 13th, 2016, 05:02 PM
So have you done it yet Skylark? You need to do this you know.

Just JT
August 13th, 2016, 07:37 PM
So have you done it yet Skylark? You need to do this you know.

Skylark???

VTGEEK14
August 14th, 2016, 01:35 AM
If he is your best friend I'm sure he will understand

Desynchronized
August 14th, 2016, 06:15 AM
Hey buddy you said it?

Skylark
August 15th, 2016, 07:35 AM
I chickened out.

lemondrop
August 15th, 2016, 11:17 AM
well,so wait then - till you'll be ready :) But keep in mind - the sooner he will know,the faster he will accept it

Just JT
August 15th, 2016, 01:08 PM
Your just not ready to is all
When you are, it'll just be fine normal and natural, and stress free
When your ready

jockeyboy97
August 15th, 2016, 01:51 PM
Your just not ready to is all
When you are, it'll just be fine normal and natural, and stress free
When your ready

I agree with JT. It took me a long time to come out to my parents. I have yet to come out to my friends. I'm not ready yet and see no need to right now. Yeah they might have their suspicions, but I'm not ready to say anything. I will do it when I'm ready. Don't add any extra pressure or stress on yourself. You will know when your ready to take that step. With me I built up the courage from reading many posts on VT, especially one from Paul. The way he came out to his parents and brother made me begin to think a lot. His story inspired me that way he told his parents and the way they accepted him. I wrote my experience in "I'm Out". I had a good experience coming out to my parents and brother. Yeah funny they already knew. So follow your heart, don't stress out and when your ready to come out to your friend or family you will know when. PM if you need any help.

zack.zack
August 15th, 2016, 02:29 PM
For the third time, I had a huge chance to come out to my best friend. I chickened the fuck out. He even asked me if I was about to come out and I blew it off. Anyone have any tips or advice regarding this?

You need to stop "edging" with coming out and just jump out there and do it. Youve come close so many times, so now its time for you to just close your eyes and just take the leap and stop playing with it.

Skylark
August 15th, 2016, 02:55 PM
I feel like I'm ready to come out to specific people but not others, like people I know and/or like better or put more trust in. I've said I don't want to come out to like EVERYONE, cause I'm afraid I'll end up as that one gay guy who's just there. Like I really don't want to be that guy.

jamie_n5
August 18th, 2016, 07:41 PM
Have you told your family yet? That should really be your first step.

steellord321
August 22nd, 2016, 06:37 PM
I feel like I'm ready to come out to specific people but not others, like people I know and/or like better or put more trust in. I've said I don't want to come out to like EVERYONE, cause I'm afraid I'll end up as that one gay guy who's just there. Like I really don't want to be that guy.

The more ppl you tell the more likely one of em will go around telling everyone. In a way, you shouldn't come out till you're ready for everyone to know. But i maintain they already suspect it, especially that one friend

It's part of being a small, often invisible minority that your gonna feel like the token gay guy at times. The key is at least by coming out you don't need to hide it and you stand up for yourself

jxxx_z
September 13th, 2016, 01:12 PM
Relax... Sexuality is a lot more accepted than you think, just come out when your comfortable

jake97aus
September 14th, 2016, 03:52 AM
Don't force yourself to come out before you're ready, but if you really want to then tbh there isn't gonna be a perfect time to say it you kinda just have to say it! Hope everything goes well, let us know once you've decided what you're gonna do :)