PDA

View Full Version : Homosexual friend help.


TheHood
July 29th, 2016, 04:24 AM
I don't know if this is the right place. I hope it is. But I'll just cut to the chase. I have a friend at school who I think could quite possably be gay. I have nothing against homosexuality. And I respect all the lesbians and gay people out there. But I can't shake the feeling that he likes me. I'm not gay. I'm straight. At least I'm pretty sure I am. But some of the reasons why I say I think he bats for the other team. Is because he's always being sexuial. Like slapping my ass. Complementing me. Etc. But the reason I'm confused to whether he actually is. Is because he does some of these things to other people. But not as much. But the thing I need help with. Is if he is. And makes either a "move" or asked me out. How shouldni handle it? I want to be prepared. And not be caught off guard and hurt his feelings.

Thanks in advance

Reguards
~Hood

Just JT
July 29th, 2016, 04:37 AM
Hey Aaron, I'm JT

I think your being really nice and cool about this, and you seem to have your friends feeling in the for front, and that's a good thing.

So if he's a friend, is he a close enough friend you can talk to him about this stuff, privatly?
See a lota guys do that kind of stuff all the time, gay or straight, it's what guys do. Are you sure you aren't misinterpreting or getting yiur wires crossed? Does him doing this bother you or male you feel uncomfortable? There's no way to know for sure if someone is or isn't whatever sexuality, it's really their choice to let someone know if they choose to.

You seem to be a little unsure of your own sexuality to dome degree. So you've thought about that some I assume. So if he makes a pass or move or what ever, I'd just follow your instincts, and see what happens. Be open, you might enjoy and like what happens. I'd probably respond the same way if a girl,did the same thing. When the instincts kick in, it'll feel natural normal and a lot easier than you think cause it's in real time, and you'll know what you want or not want. It might open a new door to your life, might improve a friendship you have, regardless of the outcome. Just be nice, respectful if you don't accept any advances he makes. You can still be friends

Dalcourt
July 29th, 2016, 06:15 AM
Hm, are you sure you don't read too much into his actions?
Well what advice to give...should he make any move on you just be honest with him in whatever your answer might be.
Apart from that I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about other people's sexuality as long as they don't want to discuss it with me.
Oh and if you like the way he acts around you...like touching you and stuff enjoy it and if you feel uncomfortable with it tell him...hope this helps you somehow.

ClaraWho
July 29th, 2016, 07:55 AM
If the whole touching business makes you uncomfortable, ask him to stop. In terms of how to reject a guy vs rejecting a girl, it's basically the same. Easier in fact, if you don't feel that way towards men sexually. If he's a nice guy feel flattered, let him down gently and tell him you still like him as a friend. Hopefully it can stay that way if that's all you want, but it may be hard for him.

Or of course you are reading way too much into it being towards you personally. Just be sure not to send any mixed signals that you may be interested, if you really aren't.

~ Clara

Bull
July 29th, 2016, 08:30 AM
@JT gave you a well rounded answer. I would just add from my own experience: two guys going out together is not unusual and is just guys doing guy things-playing pool, going bowling, bike riding, etc. I did/do a lot of that. Friendship between guys may or may not become sexual in nature. I was curious and when my friend made a move I let it happen and it led to a great and enjoyable relationship. I have also had that experience with girls with a like result. If you are open to the possibility and he makes the move go with the flow. If you really do not want to become sexually involved with a guy, just be honest and nicely explain that you do not want to go that route in your friendship. Good luck with whatever direction the relationship develops.

City Kid
July 29th, 2016, 10:51 AM
Relationships and Dating :arrow: Teen Sexuality and Gender

ska8er
July 29th, 2016, 07:00 PM
If ur not comfortable around him then tell
him that he is making u feel uneasy when
he slaps ur behind or gets touchy feely with
u-unless u like him as a friend or give the
sign that u enjoy it-tell him u like to b friends
but not in another way.

lliam
July 29th, 2016, 10:10 PM
But I can't shake the feeling that he likes me. I'm not gay. I'm straight. At least I'm pretty sure I am. But some of the reasons why I say I think he bats for the other team. Is because he's always being sexuial. Like slapping my ass. Complementing me. Etc. But the reason I'm confused to whether he actually is.




and I'm pretty sure you just panicking. relax.

but even if he has a crush on you doesn't mean anything, cause you don't have such feelings anyway, have you?

jamie_n5
July 30th, 2016, 11:59 AM
I think that he may be just horsing around and that is just him being friendly or goofy. I think you may be worried for nothing. I am gay and I don't do that kind of thing. I do scope guys over. I have many straight friends and I like them as friends. Sure I may admire their bodies and stuff but I know they are straight so I respect that just as they respect me being gay. If he does ask you out just tell him that you are flattered but you are straight and not into dating guys. He will understand, this is if he is gay.

steellord321
July 31st, 2016, 07:39 PM
Well your comfort matters too so if u don't want him slapping your ass, just ask him to stop

If he is homosexual and does ask u out just say your flattered but not interested, same as with a girl u don't want to date. You can then also help him to find a guy to be with, if u know of one, just like he can help u with girls. It doesn't have to change much

SethfromMI
July 31st, 2016, 08:51 PM
one politely but firmly say his behavior is not wanted. and if he was ever to approach you to say he likes you in that way, let him know while you will always be his friend, you are not sexually attracted to guys.

Kyle37
August 1st, 2016, 12:04 AM
Not sure if the things you describe are really gay (although he must be pretty outgoing). Its unlikely that he'll ask you out or whatever, but if you're placed in that situation and want to get out of it without hurting him just play it cool and affirm that you don't roll that way, but still like him as a friend. Simple as that in my opinion.

TheHood
August 5th, 2016, 10:06 PM
Thank you guys for al the help. It really does make it easier. And some of you might be right. I could be over reacting. But thanks

Bull
August 5th, 2016, 10:50 PM
What are you afrid of?

The Byrd
August 10th, 2016, 07:02 PM
Bro, I doubt that he will ask you out or anything but if he does you can just tell him that you're not interested but it's fine so you don't ruin your friendship. I would recommend asking him if he's gay first. It could help him to come out.

zack.zack
August 17th, 2016, 09:50 AM
I don't know if this is the right place. I hope it is. But I'll just cut to the chase. I have a friend at school who I think could quite possably be gay. I have nothing against homosexuality. And I respect all the lesbians and gay people out there. But I can't shake the feeling that he likes me. I'm not gay. I'm straight. At least I'm pretty sure I am. But some of the reasons why I say I think he bats for the other team. Is because he's always being sexuial. Like slapping my ass. Complementing me. Etc. But the reason I'm confused to whether he actually is. Is because he does some of these things to other people. But not as much. But the thing I need help with. Is if he is. And makes either a "move" or asked me out. How shouldni handle it? I want to be prepared. And not be caught off guard and hurt his feelings.

Thanks in advance

Reguards
~Hood

When/if it ever happens, you simply explain to him that you really like and care for him as a very close friend, but you dont share the same feelings he does when it comes to liking guys. Let him know that you are flattered that he chose you to come out to and that you respect his feelings, but can only offer your friendship to him and nothing more. This way you are letting him down easy without hurting his feelings and also letting him know he will always have a friend in you no matter what.