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Anonymous2002
July 10th, 2016, 11:26 AM
I don't really know... i uh... i just feel dead, anyone i thought cared has revealed that they never did and i dont really know, i have tried taking my mind off of it all with youtube and making games but when i take a break i instantly go back to feeling actually empty, like im just a layer of thin ice and im not suicidal all the time but when i think alot then i grab my blades and just look at them for a bit, i know that i shouldn't cut mostly because my bed is good and i dont wanna stain it, the shower makes the blood seep right through my cloths and i remember when i did it alot that my whole bed was bloody and i used to try using tissues and toilet paper to stop the bleeding to avoid staining my cloths.
anyways, i dont see a point in life, i have been through this before but nothing has really changed. i find happiness in watching vidoes and smoking.
thats pretty much it and i can barely get smokes now and i cant always watch videos... i mean i could but after around an hour on each channel i get bored or run out of new things to watch

i dont really know what to expect from writing this but its nice to get of my chest

Just JT
July 10th, 2016, 11:39 AM
I read somewhere that running can not only ease the pressure to cut, but can also bring you the same satisfaction younget from cutting
Try that?

Flapjack
July 10th, 2016, 11:40 AM
I don't really know... i uh... i just feel dead, anyone i thought cared has revealed that they never did and i dont really know, i have tried taking my mind off of it all with youtube and making games but when i take a break i instantly go back to feeling actually empty, like im just a layer of thin ice and im not suicidal all the time but when i think alot then i grab my blades and just look at them for a bit, i know that i shouldn't cut mostly because my bed is good and i dont wanna stain it, the shower makes the blood seep right through my cloths and i remember when i did it alot that my whole bed was bloody and i used to try using tissues and toilet paper to stop the bleeding to avoid staining my cloths.
anyways, i dont see a point in life, i have been through this before but nothing has really changed. i find happiness in watching vidoes and smoking.
thats pretty much it and i can barely get smokes now and i cant always watch videos... i mean i could but after around an hour on each channel i get bored or run out of new things to watch

i dont really know what to expect from writing this but its nice to get of my chest
Oooo what game you making buddy?:)

I don't have a lot of experience with this buddy but hopefully these sites can help you:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Self-Harming

Anonymous2002
July 10th, 2016, 01:20 PM
I read somewhere that running can not only ease the pressure to cut, but can also bring you the same satisfaction younget from cutting
Try that?

i wont have to cut because i will die, i hate exercise

Oooo what game you making buddy?:)

I don't have a lot of experience with this buddy but hopefully these sites can help you:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Self-Harming

for now just some simple browser games with a depressing story and ending to fuck with peoples heads and feelings, kinda like the the ALS ice bucket challenge, you feel for a moment what people with depression feel every day

and ive seen all the stop self harming things, the only thing that seems to make me happy are a few youtubers i watch: jacksepticeye, ashens and Good Mythical Morning

Dalcourt
July 10th, 2016, 01:57 PM
i wont have to cut because i will die, i hate exercise

You will die from running? Nobody said you should do a marathon.
Anyway...I'm not in the shape to give you any advice at the moment. I'm self-harming a lot myself usually not cutting, though. And I have huge problems and tried to end my life a few days ago.As you see I did not succeed but yeah that's another story.
You say you don't see a point in life except maybe smoking and youtube...well there's no point in life except the point you give your life. The point in life is different for everyone and if you don't do anything except smoking and youtube then how should anything else happen? Do you think there will someone come knock on your door and say hey I found a new purpose in life for you?

From what I get you don't want to interact with others cuz they don't care. Do you care about others?
You give the impression of just hanging out alone in your room...If I do that for a longer period of time I get the feeling of being dead inside, too. I get gloomy and work myself into a depression.

That's why I force myself to go outside. Do some exercise even if you hate it you could give it a try...small steps ya know. I just walk around or hang around alone if I don't feel like talking to others. Or well just try to interact with others...most people around where I live don't care about me or my problems cuz they have their own. But that's okay...being around them is still better than being bored home alone.

It won't work overnight and you will have relapses and get bloodstains on your bed and clothes...but every journey begins with a first step and if you don't make this first step outside your current world there will never be anything except feeling dead inside and pondering self-harming and suicide.

Just JT
July 10th, 2016, 04:14 PM
Peanut_ You couldn't of said it better bro, now you know what you need to do for yourself as well right?

jamie_n5
July 10th, 2016, 04:37 PM
Try to find other ways to amuse yourself or other activities. Just going for a walk and looking around at different things can maybe help too. Who knows??

Anonymous2002
July 11th, 2016, 01:42 PM
You will die from running? Nobody said you should do a marathon.
Anyway...I'm not in the shape to give you any advice at the moment. I'm self-harming a lot myself usually not cutting, though. And I have huge problems and tried to end my life a few days ago.As you see I did not succeed but yeah that's another story.
You say you don't see a point in life except maybe smoking and youtube...well there's no point in life except the point you give your life. The point in life is different for everyone and if you don't do anything except smoking and youtube then how should anything else happen? Do you think there will someone come knock on your door and say hey I found a new purpose in life for you?

From what I get you don't want to interact with others cuz they don't care. Do you care about others?
You give the impression of just hanging out alone in your room...If I do that for a longer period of time I get the feeling of being dead inside, too. I get gloomy and work myself into a depression.

That's why I force myself to go outside. Do some exercise even if you hate it you could give it a try...small steps ya know. I just walk around or hang around alone if I don't feel like talking to others. Or well just try to interact with others...most people around where I live don't care about me or my problems cuz they have their own. But that's okay...being around them is still better than being bored home alone.

It won't work overnight and you will have relapses and get bloodstains on your bed and clothes...but every journey begins with a first step and if you don't make this first step outside your current world there will never be anything except feeling dead inside and pondering self-harming and suicide.

I used to go out every day, i had friends, i didnt mind it back then but 1 night when i get my phone stolen by 2 gang members and i call the cops on them they are now after me with their entire gang so i cant go out, i have gone out about twice in the past few months and whenever i do im paranoid as fuck, i have to have a shiv on me whenever i go out if they corner me, its not like i dont try to find something, there is nothing. i am limited to my house with no school because the school here has some of those gang members in it, i cant get a job since i am only 14, i may start home schooling but thats just going to make it worse, because i will drift of and start thinking why bother. i know that everyone has a purpose whether its because of their family, girlfriend/boyfriend, or whatever the fuck they like but i have nothing important and i wont be able to find anything, what am i possible to do, i cant go out because i have a gang with about 200 people in it after me, not all 200 of coarse they are spread out but that means i cant even go to another school since these fuckers are everywhere. The cops have picked a few off but they always run and get away, they legit had the name, address and school (my old school) of this guy and did nothing since they had no proof of his theft/assault and whenever i call the cops on them they wont do shit, if i shiv one or two when they try pick me off then i get in the shit and if i dont go to juvy or some shit then i become their main priority, point is i cant find a point and this is just a place i can get shit of my chest and maybe talk to strangers going through the same shit or atleast something similar...

Just JT
July 16th, 2016, 03:47 PM
Sounds like you don't have many options here. I think that as you said you might be a little paranoid or something, all over a phone?
Well, I suppose someone could/will get violent over such an item, maybe some self defense classes would help you both to protect you, but also get you outside, active, mind on other things, build your self image and confidence.

Just a suggestion...