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Apollo.
July 5th, 2016, 06:10 PM
Edit: don't actually know if this is the correct section.

Okay, not posted here in forever. Just remembered the place when I was looking for an answer. So to the point.

I'm openly gay to everyone of my friends and family and anyone else that asks, apart from those at my work. My manager knows and that's all. I work as a car salesman so the environment is extremely competitive and not particularly forgiving, that said I get on well with most of the team, however 2 showrooms have sort of merged and we have 3 new colleagues. So to the point I'm not particularly comfortable revealing that I'm gay to any of my co-workers simply for the fact it's nothing to do with them and I try and keep my work life and personal life separate.

One of these new colleagues a female a few years older than me (she's 23) but a bit immature has been pushing me on the subject asking if I'm gay, demanding an answer and doing it very publicly in front of everyone. This has came about because my boyfriend that I live with is in hospital so I've been speaking to my manager about a bit of extra time out and just using the term "the guy I live with". It's pissing me off big time now, I'm not quite sure what to do about it, she's very close with a manager (not the one that knows I'm gay) so telling her to go and fuck herself isn't wise.

Anyone any ideas how to go about this? What to do? Feels incredibly weird posting here again but my friends are all just coming up with funny but unrealistic ideas and I don't want to worry my boyfriend with trivial stuff just now. Thanks in advance, Nick

Sports Boy
July 5th, 2016, 07:26 PM
Working in a hostile environment is a matter that ownership/management needs to be made aware of. Your manager needs to talk to that girl's manager and he needs to tell her to stfu. And he doesn't have to do it in any way that discloses your sexuality.
So, I think you need to ask your manager to intervene and to talk to her manager.

Devinsoccer
July 5th, 2016, 08:42 PM
Working in that envirnment is hard, and putting more pressure like that makes it worse. You should talk to your manager about her because she is in other terms, hurting your feelings. This is illegal, but I forget what it can be covicted for. I wouldn't sweat it. She's a bully, and you could do something about that.

lliam
July 5th, 2016, 10:14 PM
personall iwould talk toher in private saying to her directly, that I'm really pissed of her behavior. So she has to it let go. If not, she must face the consequences.

And I think it is important in what tone you talk to her a bit polite distant, but also tough and decisive.

In any case she may take that as a threat, which is why the physical distance from her is important too. This and a lot of other little things are need to be considered here. Cause she may not find any reason to sue you.

insanity.
July 5th, 2016, 10:56 PM
That's none of her business. Make it clear to her that that is inappropriate in a professional environment.

SethfromMI
July 6th, 2016, 07:41 AM
Working in a hostile environment is a matter that ownership/management needs to be made aware of. Your manager needs to talk to that girl's manager and he needs to tell her to stfu. And he doesn't have to do it in any way that discloses your sexuality.
So, I think you need to ask your manager to intervene and to talk to her manager.

as Mike mentioned what she is doing is not acceptable and management needs to be made aware. what she is doing is considered harassment and you could take legal action against not only her, but the company if they refused to do anything. not that you have to threaten management with that from the beginning, but if it comes to that, you could use that card to help out your cause.

Just JT
July 6th, 2016, 07:57 AM
as Mike mentioned what she is doing is not acceptable and management needs to be made aware. what she is doing is considered harassment and you could take legal action against not only her, but the company if they refused to do anything. not that you have to threaten management with that from the beginning, but if it comes to that, you could use that card to help out your cause.

This^^

You have a right to your privacy, and your sexual orientation is not appropriate to be talked about like that

I'd speak to the manager and let him know what's happening and ask him to speak to her about it cause it makes you feel u comfortable. That way, he knows what's happening, and that you know the right thing to do and it documents what is happening. Because the manager will need to document what is done and stuff

Apollo.
July 6th, 2016, 03:15 PM
Okay quick update, I just told her to shut the f*ck up for her own good today in the sales meeting. She apologised and I had a private chat after the meeting with her telling her to mind her own business from now on, everyone has kind of gathered that I'm gay from that they must have all had an idea anyway since I never get involved in the chat about women but I don't care much. I'm not ashamed of what I am I just don't see my private life as anyone's business in work. Thanks for all the replies!

DoodleSnap
July 6th, 2016, 09:03 PM
Okay quick update, I just told her to shut the f*ck up for her own good today in the sales meeting. She apologised and I had a private chat after the meeting with her telling her to mind her own business from now on, everyone has kind of gathered that I'm gay from that they must have all had an idea anyway since I never get involved in the chat about women but I don't care much. I'm not ashamed of what I am I just don't see my private life as anyone's business in work. Thanks for all the replies!

Congratulations, that's great. Talking it through always helps.