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View Full Version : Something terrible happened, Need help for this


BrokenWingedPegasus
June 30th, 2016, 06:07 PM
Sorry for making another thread, but I had to get help.
Something horrible happened today. I had a giant argument with my mom, she broke something in the house, she told me that I was worthless, I had nothing, that she'd leave me for another one to care, that I should work (even though I'm 15) and said that I was a bad person and that I was making her break, just because I didn't clean my damn room... What the f*ck is wrong with my life... She earlier today was like this at the news "Wow, I can't believe that mom killed/abandoned their son, they're horrible people". And now, she's threatening me that she'd get me out of the house, leave me for someoe else... And I'm the one who's a bad person? I was really happy just a hour ago or so, and she still ruined my whole day, and probably my life, as she might move me away to another place out of my house, I'll be without friends, etc... She now just keeps saying that I'm a very bad person, because I said that with her insulting me and treating me like this, I'd rather not be with her too. It's impressive, really... She now keeps threatening me that she'll kill herself and take everything I have, that I'm a terrible son and a lot of bad things. I'm desperate... What do I do?... I'm so sorry to have to make you hear all of this. I just don't know what to do, my life keeps going downhill and worse, all my days are sh*t, I... I try to teach her that it's not right to hurt others because you were hurt before, but she doesn't understand and keeps saying those things...
I'm really sorry for all of this all of a sudden, and for swearing an everything, but I needed to get this off me right now... I'm really worried things could get terrible and much worse from now on... :(

jamie_n5
July 1st, 2016, 09:22 PM
Wow man she is really sick and she really needs help now. Have you ever tried calling the cops and telling them how she acts and what she does?

BrokenWingedPegasus
July 2nd, 2016, 03:30 AM
Wow man she is really sick and she really needs help now. Have you ever tried calling the cops and telling them how she acts and what she does?
I never called the cops, no. It's because that after these big 'fights' we stay better with each other. And we're fine with each other, but like, every few days there is a big argument, and these arguments are getting worse and worse, I don't even know if any of that would happen, since she doesn't do what she says, but it always hurts at least a bit and makes you feel bad, and I'm worried she'll start doing what she says. She creates some small arguments from nowhere too, because of somewhere being a little dirty for example.

jamie_n5
July 2nd, 2016, 10:01 AM
Well hang in there my friend I will pray for you.

Mars
July 2nd, 2016, 10:11 AM
It's obvious there's something wrong with her. Seeing as these arguments are getting worse and worse, she might actually start going on her word...

This is gonna sound dumb asf but have you ever tried to talk with her civilly? Be it when or when she wasn't yelling at you? Cuz arguing and yelling in the end will never get your point across tbh.

By the way, none of that stuff that she says is true, so don't let it get you down. You aren't worthless, and etc. You're mother has flaws just like the rest of us and I guess her flaws are yelling at you :P Just try to calm her down or reason with her so it doesn't get worse I guess?

BrokenWingedPegasus
July 2nd, 2016, 05:09 PM
It's obvious there's something wrong with her. Seeing as these arguments are getting worse and worse, she might actually start going on her word...

This is gonna sound dumb asf but have you ever tried to talk with her civilly? Be it when or when she wasn't yelling at you? Cuz arguing and yelling in the end will never get your point across tbh.

By the way, none of that stuff that she says is true, so don't let it get you down. You aren't worthless, and etc. You're mother has flaws just like the rest of us and I guess her flaws are yelling at you :P Just try to calm her down or reason with her so it doesn't get worse I guess?

Thanks for the help, but usually in these arguments, I don't do things like her, she insults me and threatens while yelling, while I try to explain stuff and to make her listen, explain her that saying that and doing it is not right, but she doesn't understand, doesn't listen and says that I'm a bad person - because she doesn't listen. She gets really 'hurt' when I say some things like - "Yeah, maybe it's better not to live with you if you have those attitudes, and treat me bad and call me those things. I like you if you treated me like you were doing earlier, but if you do these things you're a terrible person, etc" - Because of these things, she says I'm bad, and I'm the one making her suffer. And again, I try to reason saying why it's not true, because that's what all the aggressors say. I said that the problem is with her, not me. And it's true, I swear I'm not being biased or just trying to defend myself, she has some problems and acts that way because of 'taking her anger out' or something, just like bullies do. But again, the most she does is slap my arm and pull my ear, I try to stop her, not to do anything to her but because I tell her that violence is an uncivilized stupid and deplorable act. These things obviously still hurt me inside though, and I'm worried they could happen again.

Dalcourt
July 2nd, 2016, 05:39 PM
Thanks for the help, but usually in these arguments, I don't do things like her, she insults me and threatens while yelling, while I try to explain stuff and to make her listen, explain her that saying that and doing it is not right, but she doesn't understand, doesn't listen and says that I'm a bad person - because she doesn't listen. She gets really 'hurt' when I say some things like - "Yeah, maybe it's better not to live with you if you have those attitudes, and treat me bad and call me those things. I like you if you treated me like you were doing earlier, but if you do these things you're a terrible person, etc" - Because of these things, she says I'm bad, and I'm the one making her suffer. And again, I try to reason saying why it's not true, because that's what all the aggressors say. I said that the problem is with her, not me. And it's true, I swear I'm not being biased or just trying to defend myself, she has some problems and acts that way because of 'taking her anger out' or something, just like bullies do. But again, the most she does is slap my arm and pull my ear, I try to stop her, not to do anything to her but because I tell her that violence is an uncivilized stupid and deplorable act. These things obviously still hurt me inside though, and I'm worried they could happen again.

I have read all you write in this thread. I guess that the only thing that will help is that your Mom sees for herself that she is mentally unstable in one way or other and needs professional help. I'm not sure on how you can help her doing this...as you can't go to your Mom and say Hey I think you are crazy and you are hurting me and you need to see a psychologist.
I'm really at a loss on how to help youeith this part.

I can somehow relate to it though. My Dad suffers from bipolar and he can get really mean and hurtful when he is depressed. Saying things like I shouldn't have been born and stuff like that...he also sometimes threatens to kill himself or me...and in addition he is physically abusive. He knows he has mental problems but doesn't want treatment.
I really don't know to make him get treatment. I'm not calling the copss or stuff cuz if he has his good times he is the nicest and greatest person I know.

I'm not sure if theres a way how you can reason with your mom but she needs help or else she ruins both your lives.
could you get another family member to help you talk to her? what if you write a letter to her about how you feel. or maybe you should call the authorities in?

i know that my inability to help my dad accept rofessional help has ruind my life...don't let it ruin yours, too.

Cadanance00
July 3rd, 2016, 12:30 AM
Wow man she is really sick and she really needs help now. Have you ever tried calling the cops and telling them how she acts and what she does?

No, not cops. but maybe social services if things get totally out of control. Feel for you, man.

Doc. Maestro
July 3rd, 2016, 11:38 PM
Okay, I know exactly what's going on. You have a mother with an extreme case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My mother is similar, and only slightly less extreme. There's only one thing you can do: fight. Not physically, not mentally, but with your resolve. You have to just learn to deal with her abuse and make sure it doesn't get to you. Just keep trying to show her the correct way, the good path, and I'm sorry to say there's not much more that can be done, narcissistic people have a severe condition that is basically impossible to undo.

jamie_n5
July 4th, 2016, 08:11 PM
Okay, I know exactly what's going on. You have a mother with an extreme case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My mother is similar, and only slightly less extreme. There's only one thing you can do: fight. Not physically, not mentally, but with your resolve. You have to just learn to deal with her abuse and make sure it doesn't get to you. Just keep trying to show her the correct way, the good path, and I'm sorry to say there's not much more that can be done, narcissistic people have a severe condition that is basically impossible to undo.

Wow That sounds complicated. I sure hope that help you. Hang in there and be strong.

BrokenWingedPegasus
July 5th, 2016, 02:47 PM
Okay, I know exactly what's going on. You have a mother with an extreme case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My mother is similar, and only slightly less extreme. There's only one thing you can do: fight. Not physically, not mentally, but with your resolve. You have to just learn to deal with her abuse and make sure it doesn't get to you. Just keep trying to show her the correct way, the good path, and I'm sorry to say there's not much more that can be done, narcissistic people have a severe condition that is basically impossible to undo.
That's what I'm trying to do, to hold on and keep strong, and I don't believe anything she tells me when she says I'm worthless, etc. since I can think for myself, and I don't care about opinions that aren't constructive critics. I never thought of it that way, but it seems like you might be right, she might have some kind of narcissistic problem when it's something to do with me, since she always thinks she makes zero mistakes related to me.

Kacchon
July 5th, 2016, 10:47 PM
Dude I'm sorry! I would definitely recommend trying to talk to her about it when she isn't mad. It's good that you are acting civil and not making things worse, that's very mature of you.

BrokenWingedPegasus
July 6th, 2016, 10:26 AM
Dude I'm sorry! I would definitely recommend trying to talk to her about it when she isn't mad. It's good that you are acting civil and not making things worse, that's very mature of you.
Thanks. And I do that quite often, but she always does the same things over and over again after that, like she doesn't listen.

Just JT
July 7th, 2016, 04:40 AM
Well it sounds like you talking with her civilly after and kinda patching things up don't work. If you got someone involved, to moderate/mediate for you guys, you'll get better results. Seems your family will benifit from from this, as it is escalating and we can only reasonable conclude what the end result will/can be. And the word end, means just that.

For what it's worth, please know you are not worthless, you are a human being with positive qualities like everyone else and you have rights that include not being abused. Unfortunately right now you are the only one who can do something to stop it, and assert your rights