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cooool12
June 26th, 2016, 03:22 PM
...............................A Blanket of Shrapnel.........................

The Pimp mobile journey from Uzbekistan to Kazakhstan was uncomfortable and damp as third class was tightly packed full of people. I was pressed up against a window the entire time it was dripping with condensation that occasionally went down the back of my neck. I nearly couldn't contain the sense of joy that overcame me when I thought of getting out of my seat and pushing my bare arse against the tepid glazing and birthing a creamy behemoth from within my bowls. I wanted everyone to be uncomfortable!. My anus was broken but I made quick work of leaving the train whilst kicking an old lady in the shin and yelling “stitch that Jimmy”.
Finally the moment I was waiting for arrived I leapt up and raced for the doors with careless abandon for all human safety I stabbed at least fifteen people with a shiv that I had fashioned out of an old bit of dead pensioner and some of the covering from the soiled train seat. My childhood friend Azomat who I would be staying with for the next two decades left instructions for me to meet him at the strip club near the pimp mobile station, as soon as I stepped out the doors of the station I could see him there waiting outside. He was hearing a large banana costume and waving a flag that said “HELLO USA” and was shouting “I new in town”. He approaches me gives me a lurid moist hug and a pat on the balls then pulls away and farts discreetly into a crisp packet. I have never felt truly comfortable around Azomat from this moment onwards. Its amazing how a moist hug can dampen your personal murder spree. Behind his Moist domineer I can sense the hunger in his eyes. I chuckle wearily and smile pleasantly back. He asks with his dry rusty voice ‘how’s Uzbekistan been treating you recently ay?’ I reply is horrible is full or gypsies and Jews I barley made it out of there alive he flashes a smile and quickly says ‘right...right’. The hike through the woods to his yurt is long and awkward because of how he keeps yelling "Fuck you" and "I eat your shit" at everybody he meets. Inside my urge to kill is rising!. We talk about what’s been going on the past few years of course we reminisce on childhood memories like the time I shot Pavel with the BB gun repeatedly in the head and the time when I pushed Pavel down a cliff. This was fun for a small while but otherwise its complete silence broken only by Azomat shouting abuse at the owls.
The purpose of me coming back to my home town is really to relieve some stress causing the accident at Chernobyl had piled a lot on me and my favourite form of stress relief is to go deer hunting and that’s what I intend to do the next few weeks.
Azomat and I reach his yurt that is nestled deep in the irradiated forests of Kazakhstan. Inside was small and had a strong chemical smell because this was where Perodonov Azomats gay lover cooked meth. Inside the yurt Perodonov and Valude were shouting loudly at each other because Perodonov had just shot through the yurt breaking Valudes bottle of vodka. Valude was a thin spindly man with a face like a sheep he also smelled like an elderly male yak had taken a leak in both of his coat pockets. Perodonov on the other hand had a rather nice leather jacket and was wearing several tactical vests with a nice pair of tactical boots. He also apperared to have several weapons attached and hidden on his person.
I had not been inside the yurt for ten seconds when Perodonov yelled Кто он! and pulled a grenade from his vest tearing the pin out in the process. Azomat ran in after me screaming Стоп!!. Perodonov stood there looking at the grenade and me for some time with the expression of a confused child on his face before throwing it out of the hole in the top of the yurt. It Detonated about four feet away from the yurt spraying shrapnel an all directions. Most of the shrapnel hit Valude spraying his insides around the interior of the yurt like a grotesque fireworks display.


Obviously the plot is unfinished and I need some more character development but I think that this is a good starting point.

Flapjack
July 9th, 2016, 06:49 PM
I like it:) I would offer ways to improve it but it is 1am and my brain is switched offxD Interesting how you're using Russian sounding names when you're from the UK! Any reason for this?:)