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View Full Version : Didn't think I would be doing what I am now


Strawberry_Essence
June 22nd, 2016, 02:21 AM
So I joined here in 2013, when I THOUGHT my life was as bad as it gets. I used to be pretty active and found a nice family here. Then the website went down for a little bit and I just didn't com back for a while.
Here I am, checking back in 3 years later, and man, life got so much more shitty.
back in 2013 the worst thing I had ever done was drink some beer, take adderall, and smoke weed like once. 3 years later I've used all sorts of drugs ranging from alcohol to oxycodone to cocaine. I used to be so ambitious early on in highschool, but several events in my life (dad walking out, mom going insane, sexual assault, mugging, almost abduction, failing classes, etc.) led to one disappointment after another. I began to lose faith in myself and what I was capable of, and as I approach my graduation I am beginning to embrace more alternative lifestyles -- which is a 180 degree turn in my life and my goals.
Recently I have closed off several friendships and relationships with people who I believe have been weighing down on me, and now I feel very lonely. Recently found out I had just been being used for money and sexual favors from a guy I was really interested in and that has just wrecked my self esteem. I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore and being hospitalized or going to rehab is in no way an option for me, because despite the circumstances I still have a sliver of optimism for my future endeavours, and to have that on my record would kiss those interests goodbye.
I guess i'm just really confused as to how to get out of this situation. What the first steps are. I feel like my environment is not one i can thrive in, and since I am not 18 yet, I am in no power to leave it.
If any of you have any insight to share I am very interested, I'd be interested even just to hear some of experiences if you can relate at all. I'm just feeling lonely and would like to communicate with people.

Flapjack
June 22nd, 2016, 10:20 AM
Are you addicted to any of the drugs buddy??

Fehu
June 22nd, 2016, 02:16 PM
Damn, that's fucked. If you ever wanna talk about it, I'm here for you.

Sometimes friends need to be dropped, and sometimes we all get carried away with drugs, bit in the end, you need to be about yourself. Never do anything for anyone else, only do it because you want it. If you were really happy, you'd be happy sober and wouldn't need to do all those drugs, so that's how to really conquer addiction.

Also, fuck that guy, no one should treat a girl like that. If it's drugs clouding your judgement, drop that shit arouns people like him, if it's not, then either way you gotta look out for people like that because there's a lot of them in this world. Also, sorry to here about your parents.

Strawberry_Essence
June 22nd, 2016, 09:57 PM
Are you addicted to any of the drugs buddy??

I don't want to say i'm addicted because i've never experienced anything like withdrawals. But I do feel an inclination to doing them.

Strawberry_Essence
June 22nd, 2016, 09:58 PM
Damn, that's fucked. If you ever wanna talk about it, I'm here for you.

Sometimes friends need to be dropped, and sometimes we all get carried away with drugs, bit in the end, you need to be about yourself. Never do anything for anyone else, only do it because you want it. If you were really happy, you'd be happy sober and wouldn't need to do all those drugs, so that's how to really conquer addiction.

Also, fuck that guy, no one should treat a girl like that. If it's drugs clouding your judgement, drop that shit arouns people like him, if it's not, then either way you gotta look out for people like that because there's a lot of them in this world. Also, sorry to here about your parents. The dude was a huge let down. I was feeling really good about myself for a while there. It seems that people come and go in my life often.

jamie_n5
June 29th, 2016, 09:43 PM
If you want to get away from all of that the first step is to make up your mind and then get a whole new lifestyle. Staying away from druggie friends and hangouts.

Glis25
August 3rd, 2016, 07:55 PM
Jeez sorry to hear all this.. I don't have much advise to offer but I hope everything works out for u in the end. Keep well