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Just JT
June 4th, 2016, 04:12 PM
I started posting here again recently. I was away for a while. Seems like a lot of the people I'd talk and post with are gone, but some are still here and that's really cool. But that's not what this is all about. I'm actually having a hard time right now, and strange as it is, I should be happy.

See the thing is, it may be just so much going on all at the same time. I was injured about a month ago, and I'm still not feeling right. And a couple days ago I was told I have PCS. (Post concussion syndrome). And I just feel like shit all the time.

I'm finishing up middle school this year, all done (yay) and graduating in a couple weeks. As much as I hate my current school, and looking forward to my new school, it's a huge change for me and I'm actually getting pretty fucking worked up over it. Even though most of my friends already go to the high school I'll be going to, and I know so much more than other freshmen going in


Also in a couple weeks, my adoption will be final. Yeah, I no, should be like a freakin party right? But I'm not feeling the love about that. It's not that I don't feel loved, I do, they've been the best, I love the, so much. But the problem is, like I'm feeling it's just one more thing, one more degree of separation between me and my birth parents. Not that mom was any freakin beauty queen and dad the pillar of responsibility or anything. But yeah, I guess I really do have some feelings for the person I'd always called my "mom", that bitch I always hated. And I've always loved my dad, was my best friend. And it's like I'm closing the door on both of them, or is it just closure.

I don't know, but all these things all just kinda are sneaking up on me, and all in the middle of some more bullshit legal crap all becoming a mess I just can't understand most of the time. But I still need to go through that shit show of a process anyways.

Just feeling a bit stressed out, lost, idk what to call it tbh.....just had to get it out there....

Amethyst Rose
June 4th, 2016, 04:18 PM
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Just chill, try not to stress too much, and all this will end up the way it's supposed to. Easier said than done I know... I hope everything falls into place for you :)

BrokenWingedPegasus
June 4th, 2016, 05:01 PM
That's difficult. Try to distract yourself with other things, that makes it better, and talk to someone if you need to. :)

Just JT
June 4th, 2016, 05:49 PM
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Just chill, try not to stress too much, and all this will end up the way it's supposed to. Easier said than done I know... I hope everything falls into place for you :)

I'm trying. I went out last night to a party with some friends. Cut loose for a while. And this morning I learned what it feels like to have a hangover with a perpetual headache to begin with. So I'm trying, really am. But it's just hard knowing all this shits coming at you like a freight train

That's difficult. Try to distract yourself with other things, that makes it better, and talk to someone if you need to. :)

I have been, posting up a shit storm tbh lol!! And yeah talking does help. I appreciate both your posts. Know someone's there listening

BrokenWingedPegasus
June 4th, 2016, 05:52 PM
I'm trying. I went out last night to a party with some friends. Cut loose for a while. And this morning I learned what it feels like to have a hangover with a perpetual headache to begin with. So I'm trying, really am. But it's just hard knowing all this shits coming at you like a freight train
I have been, posting up a shit storm tbh lol!! And yeah talking does help. I appreciate both your posts. Know someone's there listening

Well, you do reply to my posts and messages, so I'm just returning the 'favor' :)

Just JT
June 4th, 2016, 05:55 PM
Well, you do reply to my posts and messages, so I'm just returning the 'favor' :)


Your a good guy man :hug:

BrokenWingedPegasus
June 4th, 2016, 05:59 PM
Your a good guy man :hug:

Thanks, you too! :D

Amethyst Rose
June 4th, 2016, 06:16 PM
I'm trying. I went out last night to a party with some friends. Cut loose for a while. And this morning I learned what it feels like to have a hangover with a perpetual headache to begin with. So I'm trying, really am. But it's just hard knowing all this shits coming at you like a freight train



I have been, posting up a shit storm tbh lol!! And yeah talking does help. I appreciate both your posts. Know someone's there listening

I totally understand. Hey there ya go, good times yeah? :mrgreen: Drop me a message anytime, I'm always up for talking and don't like to see you blue!

Just JT
June 4th, 2016, 06:31 PM
Yeah, I know, I'm not trying to be blue. Think I just needed to get it out there and kinda vent some. Lots going on, and just can't keep it inside. I know if I do, I'll resort back to violence and fighting. And I know I can't do that. That's just to far backwards.

Amethyst Rose
June 4th, 2016, 06:36 PM
And backwards is the last place anyone needs to go.

FuTo
June 5th, 2016, 02:52 AM
I started posting here again recently. I was away for a while. Seems like a lot of the people I'd talk and post with are gone, but some are still here and that's really cool. But that's not what this is all about. I'm actually having a hard time right now, and strange as it is, I should be happy.

See the thing is, it may be just so much going on all at the same time. I was injured about a month ago, and I'm still not feeling right. And a couple days ago I was told I have PCS. (Post concussion syndrome). And I just feel like shit all the time.

I'm finishing up middle school this year, all done (yay) and graduating in a couple weeks. As much as I hate my current school, and looking forward to my new school, it's a huge change for me and I'm actually getting pretty fucking worked up over it. Even though most of my friends already go to the high school I'll be going to, and I know so much more than other freshmen going in


Also in a couple weeks, my adoption will be final. Yeah, I no, should be like a freakin party right? But I'm not feeling the love about that. It's not that I don't feel loved, I do, they've been the best, I love the, so much. But the problem is, like I'm feeling it's just one more thing, one more degree of separation between me and my birth parents. Not that mom was any freakin beauty queen and dad the pillar of responsibility or anything. But yeah, I guess I really do have some feelings for the person I'd always called my "mom", that bitch I always hated. And I've always loved my dad, was my best friend. And it's like I'm closing the door on both of them, or is it just closure.

I don't know, but all these things all just kinda are sneaking up on me, and all in the middle of some more bullshit legal crap all becoming a mess I just can't understand most of the time. But I still need to go through that shit show of a process anyways.

Just feeling a bit stressed out, lost, idk what to call it tbh.....just had to get it out there....

OMG you're younger than me!!!! And here I thought you were older because of your grammar and such lol. And if you ever need someoen to talk to just message me.

Just JT
June 5th, 2016, 07:21 PM
OMG you're younger than me!!!! And here I thought you were older because of your grammar and such lol. And if you ever need someoen to talk to just message me.

Omg dude!! Lol!!!
I was in another forum, they had like annual awards for different categories, I won a few, but also took first place for worst grammar and spelling lol!!!
A year ago, I was so bad at grammar and spelling, people simply couldn't understand most of my posts

My foster parents got me some help, in many ways. But including a tutor after school, and al summer, and all school year this year as well. So yeah, I've made so really good progress tbh. It's been a lota work, but yeah, I'm making it.

Dalcourt
June 5th, 2016, 08:10 PM
That you experience this kind of feelings at this point in your life is just normal. There is nothing wrong or strange about it and it is nothing to work yoursef up about it.
You answered all of it yourself....there are huge changes happening at the moment and even if they are for the good it's kinda normal to "fear" the unknown and find it easier to stick to stuff you are used to.
Even good things if they are huge milestones in a life give you a feeling of sadness and emptiness at one point. Every person experiences such feelings at some point in their lifes.
If you don't think about it it will pass sooner than you realise it.

outback4
June 5th, 2016, 10:27 PM
Everything you described is totally normal and would be expected. So much has changed in your life and now, with it becoming official, it must make you feel a whole bunch of different emotions. Just remember, you're really lucky to have great foster parents who do whatever they need to do to make sure you're taken care of. A lot of kids don't have that. It's really awesome that you've found a family after all this time of a difficult relationship with your mom and dad. Try to be excited! Good luck :)

Just JT
June 14th, 2016, 06:04 AM
So now I'm in the midst of facing them all now. We went away for the weekend, got hi,e yesterday. Have a meeting with the lawyers to finalize tha adoption today. Then I have fonals the fear of the week. Then I'm all done with school.
As scary as it all feels, or seemed, it does feel just normal now. It's all planned out, and knowing what's happening when.

Now I'm wondering about calling hefty and Ann mom and dad. Yeah I know, I should, they deserve it, and there been more of a mom and dad than I've ever had. I know that they would love me to. And I want to. But something is still nagging at me. I know dads not coming back, that's just an imfuckingpossibility. Mom....yeah o guess she could. As much as I really hate her, I've started to hate her less. And I can see myself forgiving her. She at some time have the freedom to fine me. And how will she feel if I call someone else mom. She don't deserve that name, right now, but I can't take it away, give it to someone else, just to take it away and give it back one day to someone else can I? And if I call keith dad and Ann not mom....
It's probably what's been really been under my skin more than anything else and didn't even realize it. Part of me I feel it'll just be a natural thing I start doing, but I don't feel that way now

Dalcourt
June 14th, 2016, 09:15 AM
This is a tough question. In my opinion you should not think about it too much. I mean if it comes to you natural to call them mom and dad then do it if it feels not quite right deep down don't do it. Maybe it just needs some time maybe it will never feel completely right. Just give it time and don't spend too much thoughts on it. This isn't a thing you can decide in your head weighing pros and cons. This is something that will be decided by your heart as cheesy as it might seem now.
I dunno what your parents expectations are. Have you discussed it? but I'm sure they will be okay with whatever you do here. so just take your time here.

and good luck on your finals :)

Periphery
June 14th, 2016, 11:04 AM
Get better Just JT realised I didn't post here yet so yeah. Hope you're doing okay there man!

Jinglebottom
June 14th, 2016, 11:13 AM
Hope you're fine, JT. :)

Just JT
June 14th, 2016, 02:30 PM
Thanks everyone, yeah you m fine. Felt pretty stressed about it all. But strange thing was going and being there and doing all this today....it wasn't at all. It felt natural and normal as waiting for the school bus or lunch or something.

It just didn't matter really, and nothing is really changed.
But thank you for paying attention and replying, it meant a lot, made me feel really good....

Thanks

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2022496

jamie_n5
June 30th, 2016, 02:31 PM
Wow you have been through a lot. I hope that you can sort things out and start your new life with your new parents and be happy and put away the hurts and just know that it was the past and now the future is brighter. Feel free to message me if you want. I wish you the best.

Just JT
July 1st, 2016, 04:03 AM
Jamie_n I guess so, I try and keep it all in perspective I guess. It's a lot to process sometimes.p, and others it's like really warming inside. I try and always keep thinking how lucky I am. But not always that easy. So when I'm feeling that way, I just try and think about how it shoulda coulda woulda ended up, or others who don't or didn't have it so good

happyandproud
July 1st, 2016, 04:05 AM
i just found out that my ex boyfriend commited suicide last night

Just JT
July 1st, 2016, 04:07 AM
i just found out that my ex boyfriend commited suicide last night


Wow! That's like huge, I'm really sorry about that, you ok?