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jpcastro1959
May 22nd, 2016, 07:00 PM
I don't know if my problem is sexual abuse or not. I have a brother two years older than me. I can say that besides beeing my brother he's too my best friend and we share our room. Six months ago, he started to masturbate openly over his bed. I asked him if he wasn't embarrased for doing that in front of other people. He said to me that I were his own brother and that was a natural thing that everyone did. Then he came to my bed and he masturbated me and made me to masturbate him. Afterwards he come often to my bed and we make things, even blowjobs. . I told that to a priest in confession and he told me that my brother was abusing me and I must to told that to an adult in my family or, at least, speak seriously with him. But I'm afraid to lose my brother and I feel guilty because, though I don't like to make these things to him, I must confess that I like when he makes them to me; but only in the precise moment, because afterwards I feel really bad and I promise myself not allowing it again. Please, I need help.

Drew Alex
May 22nd, 2016, 07:28 PM
You didn't mention how old he is and you are. But I suspect I'm out of my depth here, so I'm not going to do any more than ask that question. Above all, I'm glad you reached out. It was a good thing to do, and that is the beginning of finding a solution. Best wishes, don't be afraid, and know you've found a supportive community here! All the best!

Bmble_B
May 22nd, 2016, 07:46 PM
Did he force you to do so? If so then it is sexual abuse, yes.

Just JT
May 22nd, 2016, 08:30 PM
The two posters above make very good points. The age difference may very well make this illegal. And if you were forced to engage in any sex act with anyone, that's abuse.

Now, it is also fairly common for brothers to experiment sexually to some degree. Some people view that as wrong, immoral, and a sin in some religions. Your guilt may be stemming from that, and confusion over you feeling that you liked it. Well, sex feels good, so yeah, I get that.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you do not like how it makes you feel after, then you should do something to stop it from happening, or come to grips with the conflict.

Either way, whatbever you do, it's a serious topic, and if your brother is abusing you, and you do not stop him, he's going to think what he's been doing is ok, will continue, and maybe do it to someone else.

Not an easy choice

Dalcourt
May 23rd, 2016, 07:20 AM
Being an only child I dunno about siblings doing sexual things with each other still I find it extremely wrong and weird and I don't think I'd do it if I had a sibling.

If you don't want to do it and he forces you than it is some kind of sexual abuse. It sounds as you feel bad about it, so I really would advise talk to him and your parents cuz it is something serious that won't go away by not talking and just letting it happen.

jpcastro1959
May 23rd, 2016, 04:28 PM
I'm 15 yo. Thanks for you replays. I'm determined to speak with my brother, but I don't know how I can start. When I tried to say something, he pretends not to hear me and goes away...

nwtnguy
May 23rd, 2016, 06:00 PM
Don't speak to your brother. Speak to a parent

Just JT
May 23rd, 2016, 08:27 PM
If he's pretending to not hear you he's ignoring you
You should ignore him
And tell someone who can do something that will make a differense

Stronk Serb
May 25th, 2016, 10:37 AM
He is 17 and you are 15, I think it's staturoty rape (or you he needs to be 18, someone correct me on that) since you are below the age of consent which is illegal, but it's up to you, it's rarely enforced since people doing it just don't care, on both sides. I see it as wrong, but do as you see fit. If you feel violated in any way or forced to do something, report it. Not sure if it legally counts as incest, but if you decide to press charges, know that it will cause family problems. If you enjoy it or don't mind it, don't do anything. If he pressures you after you decide to stop, report it.

Just JT
May 25th, 2016, 10:43 AM
Sounds like good advise to me, the pivotal concepts are if you like it or not
If yes, do nothing and enjoy
If no, report him

Bull
May 25th, 2016, 02:28 PM
Sounds like good advise to me, the pivotal concepts are if you like it or not
If yes, do nothing and enjoy
If no, report him

If he is forcing you to do things that you do not want to do then he is abusing you. If he is not forcing you, but you then feel guilty because you enjoy it, that is a whole different issue. If you really do not want to participate, then the next time he approaches you just tell him no. If he persists tell him to stop or you will tell your parents what he is doing. If you relent and participate then you must deal with your feelings: enjoyment/guilt. Though your church may teach against self gratification it is a fact of life and practiced by a majority of people within the church and out. Enjoying the feeling that accompany sexual release is natural and in no way wrong.

Just JT
May 25th, 2016, 02:45 PM
What he said

Tim987
May 31st, 2016, 03:43 AM
You said you like it during and thats becaue your body is getting sex and thats what your wired for and that releases pleasure but if you dont want to do it tell him upfront that you don't feel comfortable and if he starts forcing you talk to someone else about it

Just JT
May 31st, 2016, 04:49 AM
Who are you asking?

jpcastro1959
June 2nd, 2016, 04:51 PM
Who are you asking?

Thanks everyone for your advises. Finally I talked to my brother and he replied taht he never forced to me to do anything, but if I don't wanted, it's ok for him. I felt a big releaf, but since that converastion, he hardly adress to me and he never feels like playing (basket or videogames) as we use to do. I miss him a lot.

Just JT
June 2nd, 2016, 04:57 PM
You could talk to him about it. Seems maybe he might be upset that you thought he might of hurt you or something. Communication is key to any relationship. And a brotherhood/friendship is one you'll always have. Maybe take the first step, keep the lines open...

Dalcourt
June 2nd, 2016, 09:37 PM
Thanks everyone for your advises. Finally I talked to my brother and he replied taht he never forced to me to do anything, but if I don't wanted, it's ok for him. I felt a big releaf, but since that converastion, he hardly adress to me and he never feels like playing (basket or videogames) as we use to do. I miss him a lot.

Talk to him that you don't want to lose him and hang out with him as you two always did...give it some time. I'm sure it will smooth out sooner or later.

jamie_n5
July 1st, 2016, 10:07 PM
The two posters above make very good points. The age difference may very well make this illegal. And if you were forced to engage in any sex act with anyone, that's abuse.

Now, it is also fairly common for brothers to experiment sexually to some degree. Some people view that as wrong, immoral, and a sin in some religions. Your guilt may be stemming from that, and confusion over you feeling that you liked it. Well, sex feels good, so yeah, I get that.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you do not like how it makes you feel after, then you should do something to stop it from happening, or come to grips with the conflict.

Either way, whatbever you do, it's a serious topic, and if your brother is abusing you, and you do not stop him, he's going to think what he's been doing is ok, will continue, and maybe do it to someone else.

Not an easy choice

This is exactly the way I feel. If you are close in age it may be more experimental.

Devinsoccer
July 1st, 2016, 10:23 PM
I don't know if my problem is sexual abuse or not. I have a brother two years older than me. I can say that besides beeing my brother he's too my best friend and we share our room. Six months ago, he started to masturbate openly over his bed. I asked him if he wasn't embarrased for doing that in front of other people. He said to me that I were his own brother and that was a natural thing that everyone did. Then he came to my bed and he masturbated me and made me to masturbate him. Afterwards he come often to my bed and we make things, even blowjobs. . I told that to a priest in confession and he told me that my brother was abusing me and I must to told that to an adult in my family or, at least, speak seriously with him. But I'm afraid to lose my brother and I feel guilty because, though I don't like to make these things to him, I must confess that I like when he makes them to me; but only in the precise moment, because afterwards I feel really bad and I promise myself not allowing it again. Please, I need help.

Yes it is abuse. Your under the age of consent, so you can't even consent to it. I would honestly do what your priest said. Ev3n though he is your brother something needs to be done, if its changing your room, then you will need to change your room. I also talke it your not gay, so that's also a problem. Your not comfortable with it so, I would tell your parents ask them to change your room. You can tell your brother that you need privacy and that's the reason for you changing your room, but you and your parents know the real reason. Honestly, just tell your parents, lot less stress on you, trust me.

happyandproud
July 6th, 2016, 10:19 AM
if he forces you to do it then it may well be but dont report it if you dont feel comfortable.
if you dont mind doing it then thats up to you

maria_556
July 28th, 2016, 04:24 AM
Don't allow this to happen! It's sexual abuse!

rhapsap
September 12th, 2016, 11:02 PM
I'd first speak to your parents about getting your own room.

Secondly as you both get older, this incident will continually be in the back of your mind. You should sit down with your brother and let him know this upset you and you didn't want it - and it must never ever happen again.

Then make a decision if you want to tell your parents or not. Doing so could cause a family blowout but not saying anything could also jeopardize your safety if the behaviour continues.

Flapjack
September 13th, 2016, 08:55 AM
I don't know if my problem is sexual abuse or not. I have a brother two years older than me. I can say that besides beeing my brother he's too my best friend and we share our room. Six months ago, he started to masturbate openly over his bed. I asked him if he wasn't embarrased for doing that in front of other people. He said to me that I were his own brother and that was a natural thing that everyone did. Then he came to my bed and he masturbated me and made me to masturbate him. Afterwards he come often to my bed and we make things, even blowjobs. . I told that to a priest in confession and he told me that my brother was abusing me and I must to told that to an adult in my family or, at least, speak seriously with him. But I'm afraid to lose my brother and I feel guilty because, though I don't like to make these things to him, I must confess that I like when he makes them to me; but only in the precise moment, because afterwards I feel really bad and I promise myself not allowing it again. Please, I need help.
That is 100% sexual abuse buddy, please go tell your parents ASAP! That is not normal at all.I hope things get better :)

damon_fl
September 18th, 2016, 06:38 PM
ive talked to alot of ppl who do sexual stuff with brothers or other family. some of them its just part of their relationship n how they love each other. others its forced n not cool.

the ones who r cool w it can all talk abt it w the other person. if someone tries to do the sex stuff but cant talk abt it, esp over n over again, it cud be that he has an internal problem w sex to work out.

it sounds like thats whats happenin w ur bro. maybe hes tryin to work out some experience or abuse in his past, but he shudnt use u for that.

if u can try to get him talkin to ur rents or a counselor. hell come back to talkin to u agn bc ur stuk bein bros forevr.

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 10:03 PM
Well, in other situations I might say differently, but in this case, yes, it is sexual abuse. If he made you do it to him, then that is abuse. Not to mention, doing stuff like that with a family member is NOT OK. In fact, it is illegal. Please talk to your brother, and if he doesn't stop, talk to a parent.
I'll be praying for you :)