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View Full Version : How my Life Went to Hell


Almostahero
May 10th, 2016, 12:18 PM
Two years ago I lived with my mom, dad and sister. My dad was abusive to my mom but it was always kinda a thing we thought was happening. New bruises and black eyes.

Well one day my mom had enough of it. She got into her car and was on our way to get my sister and me from our cousins. It was raining and we always figured her eyes was swollen. Well she had a wreck. It was the worst time of my life. I am tearing up even just righting about it. Then I thought my life couldn't be worse. I was wrong.

My dad has now turned his anger to us, and even blames us for her dying. Most of the time I can stop him from hitting Ember (My sister) by throwing something at me. I can take it, but I can't take loosing her. He also doesn't allow us to have friends or phones. He lets us online but only when he is at work. I tried to have friends but if you cannot ever hang out or talk with them they eventually go away. I am not mad at them or blame them.

Loosing my mom and now the shock of always being alone has caused me not to say much at school. The not talking mixed with fresh bruises made the kids in my school call me "Cursed". Some don't even know my name they just call me cursed.

I don't tell anyone about this, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I refuse to be sad or upset, mom wouldn't have wanted that for me. I have no idea why I am even posting this here. I guess I just needed to see it written out haha. If I am caught I will catch hell, but I am sure he wouldn't be on here. Anyways, I love you guys and girls :p reading your post and replies have helped through the years. That is way I have decided to stop being a lurker and contribute.

Love to you all!

lemondrop
May 18th, 2016, 09:44 AM
this is very sad ,but don't lose hope ,try to make some friends and try to explain your dad that you cannot be isolated forever. Irl i know a lot of friends who're experiencing similar things that you do. Especially from their father's side. P.S i'm always willing to help

Almostahero
May 18th, 2016, 12:19 PM
Thank you.
He makes it almost impossible to make friends. I don't have a cell phone. And he turns the wifi off when he gets home from work and on weekends. No one really wants to be your friend when you cannot even talk to them.

lemondrop
May 18th, 2016, 02:53 PM
Thank you.
He makes it almost impossible to make friends. I don't have a cell phone. And he turns the wifi off when he gets home from work and on weekends. No one really wants to be your friend when you cannot even talk to them.

Well find out when it's his birthday - give him a present that might make his heart softer and explain how you feel,btw does he use alcohol?

LRSSS02
May 18th, 2016, 04:05 PM
go to the police or call the non-emergency number and tell them what is happening

Microcosm
May 18th, 2016, 08:37 PM
If he attacks you or your sister, call the police. Neither yourself nor your sister deserve that.

Hudor
May 18th, 2016, 11:52 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. What happened was unfortunate but it's good to know you're still fighting the demons and trying to be upbeat. I can't say why your dad is being like that but he probably has a lot of hate and frustration inside. If you can, try to help him out with that. As for friends, whenever he's calm or happy, talk with him about the isolation, how it's affecting you and if he could relax the rules a bit. Also, it's okay to not to be available to talk to your friends everyday. If they know about you, they'll understand. It's not always about feeling sorry either. There would be many other people in similar situations who could relate and would want to be friends with you still and possibly even want to help you out. Just don't lose hope.
Also, you can always talk to me, even if no one else does. I'll be glad to be friends.
Loads of love to you too! :) :hug:

Almostahero
May 19th, 2016, 09:42 AM
Well find out when it's his birthday - give him a present that might make his heart softer and explain how you feel,btw does he use alcohol?

Yeah, when/if he comes home he is normally drunk or almost drunk.

Almostahero
May 19th, 2016, 09:46 AM
go to the police or call the non-emergency number and tell them what is happening

If he attacks you or your sister, call the police. Neither yourself nor your sister deserve that.

I have tried this, they started the investigation. But there is ways of hurting people that do not leave marks. I like to think of myself as strong but I gave in. I was/am weak. The pain stopped when I told them I was lying. I hate myself for it, I just couldn't take much more ya know?

For my weakness though I refuse for him to hurt Ember. If he targets her I throw something at him or piss him off real good at me. Then he forgets all about her. I would never let her suffer for my weakness.

lemondrop
May 19th, 2016, 09:46 AM
Yeah, when/if he comes home he is normally drunk or almost drunk.

That's what i thought. He will never accept that he has some alcohol problems or even if he do that he won't take any actions to stop that, there's a thing like a "code" but he must really want to do that and this is the tricky part if he won't accept and thinks that what he's doing is normal - won't help. Try to get some help from grandparents,aunts

Almostahero
May 19th, 2016, 09:48 AM
And thank you all for your support and kind words of love and help. It does mean a lot to me.

Almostahero
May 19th, 2016, 09:50 AM
That's what i thought. He will never accept that he has some alcohol problems or even if he do that he won't take any actions to stop that, there's a thing like a "code" but he must really want to do that and this is the tricky part if he won't accept and thinks that what he's doing is normal - won't help. Try to get some help from grandparents,aunts

His family is just like him. Most are on drugs and some are even in prison. My mom side of the family are amazing. But he has pretty much cut all ties with them when mom died.

lemondrop
May 19th, 2016, 09:59 AM
His family is just like him. Most are on drugs and some are even in prison. My mom side of the family are amazing. But he has pretty much cut all ties with them when mom died.

Maybe you could live at your mom's family? Explain them what are you suffering. Tell them that you can't even have friends, that you're in isolation

Just JT
May 19th, 2016, 01:10 PM
I'm sorry for all the pain you and your sister are going through. It's also something that's not unfamiliar to me either. One of the hardest things to do is to try and understand why someone who should live you so much hurts you so much, and it will never make sense. Never.

But the abuse, that needs to stop bro, for you, your sister, and for your future. You need to get to someone who will listen, and do something about it for you. Yeah, not all abuse is visible, I know that. But you can keep a diary, dates, times, what happened, that's called evidence.

You and your sister need to get help, and very soon, before dad comes home one night drunk and makes a misguided decision that's irreversable.

I'd you meet to talk hit me up anytime, you've been given many offers here, take someone up on it, or keep posting, we're all here for you.

Almostahero
May 23rd, 2016, 10:50 AM
Thank you all. I will message a lot of you when I finally hit 100 posts haha

unknownuser
May 24th, 2016, 01:30 AM
Almostahero ,my heart goes out to your and your sister. You are an amazing, strong, intelligent brother and a great role model for not giving up the fight. Know that none of this is your fault and do not let your father persuade you otherwise. I know that your age, location, and circumstances will differ the options with regards to what you can do and what course of action you can take. BUT one thing is for certain, you guys cannot continue to tolerate this on the physical or emotional levels. A poster above mentioned reaching out to your mom's side of the family, I would try that. You don't have to talk specifics, just make it clear that you need their help and support urgently, that you need to get away. Do not feel forced to open up right off the bat. As far as police involvement, I'm uncertain how you could tackle it... I've too called the cops on my mom who was abusive, I had physical evidence, yet there was not much they could do. If you are in the US and under the age of 18, you can get CPS involved- of if you're elsewhere, your region's equivalent of dealing with child abuse and neglect.

Stay strong. <3

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 10:49 PM
Wow, OK, I have so much stuff to say, but let me start with this.
1. Your dad is horrible. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it is true. He should be reported to the police. I know its hard, but its the right thing to do. If you won't do it for you, do it for your sister.
2. It is absolutely not your fault that your mom died. It is his fault. End of story.
3. Its great that you are trying not to be upset and its great that you are trying to do what your mom would have wanted. Its OK to be upset though and its ok to honor her memory and miss her.
4. I admire you for being brave enough to come on here. I would also be in trouble if my mom knew I was on here, so we are being sneaky together ;)
I'll be praying for you :)

Endeavour
October 20th, 2016, 11:24 PM
Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. :locked: