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Xiao.Z
April 23rd, 2016, 10:45 AM
I hope I place this correct please move to better place if appropriate.

At school many children make joke of me and I have no friend. Boys laugh about have sex with me and call me fun size. They say I chink or commie. Tell me speak English. Put hand on me at locker. One throw red drink on white blouse. Many other unkind thing I not remember every insult.

Why this is happen? I not unkind. I not talk anyone. Keep eye down always. Sit alone away from other but they are come to me and say unkind words. How I can make change so this not happen? I hate school not want to go and my grade suffer from my unhappy thought. Please explain how I offend I not hope make trouble. Only want day over to leave for home.

Mars
April 23rd, 2016, 11:30 AM
Have you tried talking to a teacher or another adult? Or even your parents?

And you haven't offended anyone. Kids are really mean sometimes to people that they don't know. Just try to focus on your work and stay optimistic. We're all your friends here so don't worry about "not having friends at school". Personally I would curse them out but that probably isn't he best idea in your case :P

Microcosm
April 23rd, 2016, 11:45 AM
xyztinydancer,

You have not done anything wrong. People are just mean. They enjoy being mean and making fun of other people.

Try not to feel bad about it too much. Tell a teacher or someone and get them in trouble. They need to know that what they are doing is not right and they need to be punished for it. They will call you names, but it seems like the best option.

You could also try to avoid them, although I feel like they will find a way somehow no matter what.

Best of luck to you.

Xiao.Z
April 23rd, 2016, 12:14 PM
I attempt talk teacher they say children have done nothing to be punish this make me believe no solution for these problem. Teacher advise me they not see these event so nothing can be done. When I have red beverage throw at me assault child say I spill this myself and I try to make trouble of him. Teacher believe this account tell me be careful more of my beverage.

I do every attempt avoid other children but they find me where I go. Family tell me I must not be try for friend else I may have 1. Family not care of my welfare not listen when I tell.

I can find no place to hide. Also in class children take supply from me and teacher scold me not have supply in class.

Nothing I do help and no one can help me.

Vermilion
April 23rd, 2016, 12:42 PM
Do your parents know about this ?

Endeavour
April 23rd, 2016, 12:59 PM
xyztinydancer

So you say you've told school what's going on, I think it's a little stupid that they're not doing anything just because the teacher has not seen it.

Those people bullying you are just unkind, people are very mean, and they are lying to their teachers as well.

From what you've said I can relate to this, and every time this has happened to me, I've told my form tutor and every time something has been done about it, and now everything's sorted. Just keep telling your teachers every time something happens, and if you can try and bring a friend or someone who you trust with you who has saw what has been going on and back you up.

Just stay strong :)

Xiao.Z
April 23rd, 2016, 01:45 PM
Do your parents know about this ?

I tell family but they do not believe me. Family say if try then make friend but no one like me or show any kindness.

xyztinydancer

So you say you've told school what's going on, I think it's a little stupid that they're not doing anything just because the teacher has not seen it.

Those people bullying you are just unkind, people are very mean, and they are lying to their teachers as well.

From what you've said I can relate to this, and every time this has happened to me, I've told my form tutor and every time something has been done about it, and now everything's sorted. Just keep telling your teachers every time something happens, and if you can try and bring a friend or someone who you trust with you who has saw what has been going on and back you up.

Just stay strong :)

I have no friend. I do not know of how I can find friend. Only children I know that do not do unkind for me at my ballet and gymnastic lesson but they not at school to much young they go other school. Even at lesson they not friend just ignore me. Ignore is not bad I find happiness they do not show me unkind behavior.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

Vermilion
April 23rd, 2016, 02:08 PM
I tell family but they do not believe me. Family say if try then make friend but no one like me or show any kindness.



I have no friend. I do not know of how I can find friend. Only children I know that do not do unkind for me at my ballet and gymnastic lesson but they not at school to much young they go other school. Even at lesson they not friend just ignore me. Ignore is not bad I find happiness they do not show me unkind behavior.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

You not try making friends with someone like you ?

Xiao.Z
April 23rd, 2016, 03:24 PM
You not try making friends with someone like you ?

No Chinese at school or lessons.

Endeavour
April 23rd, 2016, 03:32 PM
No Chinese at school or lessons.

What interests do you have? Is there anyone at school who has the same interests? You will probably find that you two would be good friends.

Xiao.Z
April 23rd, 2016, 05:10 PM
What interests do you have? Is there anyone at school who has the same interests? You will probably find that you two would be good friends.

I enjoy ballet and gymnastic. Children believe ballet and classical music is worthless. No one else enjoy gymnastic that I found. Children maybe believe same of gymnastic. I am not know other that enjoy this activity.

Some day I believe better to end me. Life not worth to keep. Sadness is never end.

Endeavour
April 23rd, 2016, 05:18 PM
I enjoy ballet and gymnastic. Children believe ballet and classical music is worthless. No one else enjoy gymnastic that I found. Children maybe believe same of gymnastic. I am not know other that enjoy this activity.

Some day I believe better to end me. Life not worth to keep. Sadness is never end.

The best bit of advice that anyone could ever give you is to always think positive . If you think positive and have a positive attitude things will get better. Always keep trying as well; I am sure you will eventually find someone who likes gymnastics like you do, and will be there to support you. Never forget all of us here on VT will be your friends as well :)

Xiao.Z
April 24th, 2016, 03:29 AM
I not know of Chris Rock but I only Chinese person at school. Many white. Some black. And me.

Sometime I see sympathy of children watch what happen but no one step forward. No one want cast out to be friend for me. Very sad no one care I can be good friend if someone give chance. I know my unhappy mood lift if I have friend. Someone I laugh and cry with share joy and struggle. So alone my heart cry.

Serra
April 24th, 2016, 06:54 AM
I'm sorry this has been happening :( sometimes,you have to be a friend to others first. Maybe start talking with people you think are ok,go up to them and say hi or something.

Xiao.Z
April 24th, 2016, 05:14 PM
I believe make reputation of person no one friend. Much disappoint in interaction other children. All make joke or ignore me when try speak. Too many year pass I become outcast from all social group. I try club with same result.

Cadanance00
April 24th, 2016, 05:49 PM
I'm sorry that's happening to you. To me, school is one of the most brutal places imaginable.

Are there no Chinese Americans at your school you can socialize with? The Asians at our school seem pretty popular and they are supportive to each other, I think.

Xiao.Z
April 24th, 2016, 06:03 PM
I'm sorry that's happening to you. To me, school is one of the most brutal places imaginable.

Are there no Chinese Americans at your school you can socialize with? The Asians at our school seem pretty popular and they are supportive to each other, I think.

Only me. This not problem except how other treat me. I can be happy friend of anyone not need Chinese friend.

Cadanance00
April 24th, 2016, 06:06 PM
I hope there will be someone who will be your friend. Don't give up hope and please don't be bitter. People can be very cruel but don't let their cruelty make you feel like being cruel in return.

lliam
April 24th, 2016, 06:14 PM
No Chinese at school or lessons.


imo obviously that's the reason why they pick on you.

Xiao.Z
April 25th, 2016, 09:50 AM
imo obviously that's the reason why they pick on you.

I not understand how you intend message. Why matter no Chinese? America accept to all people this whar America stance about. That what people tell me. This not true?

Melodic
April 25th, 2016, 02:18 PM
I completely understand how you feel. I was bullied throughout my time at public school. I tried complaining to the principal several times. My elementary principal directly told me I was just making it up for attention. My high school principal couldn't do anything because there wasn't proof despite that the entire building was covered with video cameras.


It's definitely a hard thing to deal with. I know you can't see it now but those bullies won't matter years down the road when you graduate. I went into homeschooling sophomore year and now I'm confident enough to face some of my bullies at my close friend's open house in a few months.

As for friends, you'll eventually make great ones! I don't think anyone has ever lived without having some type of friends. Don't stress over who isn't your friend as they shouldn't matter. They obviously wouldn't be a good friend anyways! :)

Xiao.Z
April 25th, 2016, 05:05 PM
Thank you kind word and encourage.

lliam
April 25th, 2016, 05:57 PM
I not understand how you intend message. Why matter no Chinese? America accept to all people this whar America stance about. That what people tell me. This not true?


And I don't know what people you're talking about. But I suppose you mean the people at your school. And of course, their offensive words are not true.


I see your problem just in a general sense.


In this case, your probs aren't really based on the fact that you're Chinese but your a stranger..

You can find such behavior of students at every school in the world. And I make no exception. In every country on earth foreign people experience such behavior every day.


And if there isn't someone of another culture, race or such, it 's just someone from their own ranks, who may behave sorta strange in the eyes of his own kimd. He or she will experience the same treatment like you.



So, in general, wherever someone shows up, who looks or acts differently, such a person has the same problem as you discribed it in your first post.

Or at least there is a good chance that he or she gets such problems.

Cause this of course still depends on many other facts - e.g, of the social conditions at home etc.




So, if I you're not visiting a school in a deprived area, then give those students some time to get used to you.

Some of'em then may even never notice your Chinese.
Others may still be a pain in your ass or such ... but that's school ... that's life. Cause some folks will never learn.

Like therest of us, you've to learn to deal with it.




And good look. Hopefully you will find a friend or two. ^^ ... ore more.

Stronk Serb
May 2nd, 2016, 02:53 AM
Pouring red on a white blouse can be harassment, you can even pull sexual harassment out of it, since you are female, depending where the red goes. Also try sometimes talking to people you have class with, who are not jackasses. Now the thing you can do to the school which is the absolutely worst thing the school leadership can imagine is threaten to go to the newspapers due to school-approved racism towards Asians. They will bow on their knees so you do not do it and say that they do not approve it. They will say they are not racists, but the fact they do not punish this behaviour towards you makes them such. Sometimes it takes some sword-rattling to get people to do what they want. Also what you need to know is- always go to the cops for serious things, not the teachers. Teachers mostly want to keep the image of the school being a safe no bullying place.

Uniquemind
May 2nd, 2016, 03:32 AM
Pouring red on a white blouse can be harassment, you can even pull sexual harassment out of it, since you are female, depending where the red goes. Also try sometimes talking to people you have class with, who are not jackasses. Now the thing you can do to the school which is the absolutely worst thing the school leadership can imagine is threaten to go to the newspapers due to school-approved racism towards Asians. They will bow on their knees so you do not do it and say that they do not approve it. They will say they are not racists, but the fact they do not punish this behaviour towards you makes them such. Sometimes it takes some sword-rattling to get people to do what they want. Also what you need to know is- always go to the cops for serious things, not the teachers. Teachers mostly want to keep the image of the school being a safe no bullying place.

School officials always buckle once big media, video or audio proof is supplied, and when lawyers get involved.

The trick is not to lawyer up too fast, but not too later either.

The main obstacle would be being an immigrant or not knowing US law well enough to know where to get a legit lawyer to represent you for bullying and harassment cases, and emotional damages.

The main problem is a strategy must be made to collect evidences.

Xiao.Z
May 2nd, 2016, 12:53 PM
I speak teacher when happen. Teacher confront boy he say I spill and try make trouble to him. No authority witness event so say nothing can done.

Family not believe harass tell me I need try hard make friend. Family not get legal help me.

I believe everything be ok just avoid unkind children when possible.

Meron
May 2nd, 2016, 01:49 PM
Never talk to a teacher about it, cause if a teacher hears from you then goes to talk to that bully, you're gonna recieve some more bullshit from the said bully. Unless the teacher is scary and strict of course.

Try to talk back to them if the harm is verbal, but if it gets physical, then it's time to defend yourself. If you can, you have to. If you got a friend that has your back, then that's brilliant.

Try making friends and good ties, nowadays if someone goes into serious trouble with me my "squad" can solve it by either a friendly way or another way around.

If you think that the situation is completely out of hand, talk to your parents and try to move to a different school.

Ragle
May 2nd, 2016, 02:24 PM
... tell me I need try hard make friend. Family not get legal help me.

that never works. no offense, but trying hard to make friends is such stupid.

If your classmates notice that you are trying to make friends so badly, they never ever will respect you.

Try more to be cool. Be funny, may be kinda ironic, if they insult you and show them that you don't care. If you can't do it with puns or so, simply smile sympathetically at them and move on.

I'm sure that will impress some of your classmates over time and they start to talk to you on their own.

Xiao.Z
May 2nd, 2016, 02:30 PM
that never works. no offense, but trying hard to make friends is such stupid.

If your classmates notice that you are trying to make friends so badly, they never ever will respect you.

Try more to be cool. Be funny, may be kinda ironic, if they insult you and show them that you don't care. If you can't do it with puns or so, simply smile sympathetically at them and move on.

I'm sure that will impress some of your classmates over time and they start to talk to you on their own.

I never have friend at school. I not try any more. I stay only myself and wish get through it.

Ragle
May 2nd, 2016, 02:40 PM
I never have friend at school. I not try any more. I stay only myself and wish get through it.

ok. but if it's your thing, try that other stuff. worked twice for me at new schools.

Xiao.Z
May 2nd, 2016, 04:15 PM
ok. but if it's your thing, try that other stuff. worked twice for me at new schools.

I live America almost 5 year never have friend here. Finish with try. American not like me. Not understand how change this. Not understand language for humor statement. No children speak with me unless make joke of me.

Stronk Serb
May 3rd, 2016, 02:52 AM
School officials always buckle once big media, video or audio proof is supplied, and when lawyers get involved.

The trick is not to lawyer up too fast, but not too later either.

The main obstacle would be being an immigrant or not knowing US law well enough to know where to get a legit lawyer to represent you for bullying and harassment cases, and emotional damages.

The main problem is a strategy must be made to collect evidences.

Sabre rattling gets the job done here, mostly. Not sure about US. Still, there could be a racism case in the media, seeing how she is the only Asian and bullied.

Xiao.Z
May 5th, 2016, 11:08 PM
I'm sure Xiao's not weird or anything like that.

I mean, if like any of us moved to like Russia or Germany.. I'm sure we'd be getting "abusive"(What she likes to call it lol) responses from people there as well.

Move to a completely foreign country, stuff like this is bound to happen.

Just keep hanging in there, dude.

Classmates perceive as weird because so unlike other. Maybe this happen for anyone to move very different culture but America suppose to stand for accept all this why confuse.

xMetalxMachinex
May 6th, 2016, 07:31 PM
I think you should switch schools. Bullying like this is not acceptable and the teachers sound like shit. Try to make friends.

Xiao.Z
May 6th, 2016, 07:50 PM
I think you should switch schools. Bullying like this is not acceptable and the teachers sound like shit. Try to make friends.

No option for switch. Parent would not allow even if option available.

Jay bay
May 7th, 2016, 03:27 PM
Any ideas why they would not allow

Xiao.Z
May 7th, 2016, 04:48 PM
Any ideas why they would not allow

Parent not believe situation problem.

xMetalxMachinex
May 8th, 2016, 07:45 PM
Try to get a witness.

Xiao.Z
May 9th, 2016, 09:09 AM
Try to get a witness.

Lot children see no one help me. No one want uncool be my friend or stand for me.

xMetalxMachinex
May 9th, 2016, 04:31 PM
:( do you have a phone

Xiao.Z
May 9th, 2016, 05:08 PM
Yes. But I believe they stop if I bring phone out.

Ragle
May 11th, 2016, 01:38 PM
I live America almost 5 year never have friend here. Finish with try. American not like me. Not understand how change this. Not understand language for humor statement. No children speak with me unless make joke of me.

Well, if you won't try making friends anymore, your on your own at school in the coming years. I guess, that will be a difficult time.

Perhaps it gets better in your college years.

Xiao.Z
May 12th, 2016, 02:13 PM
Well, if you won't try making friends anymore, your on your own at school in the coming years. I guess, that will be a difficult time.

Perhaps it gets better in your college years.

How much can try when nothing work?

I become person no one want seen with so nothing left for try. Probably not go college.

lliam
May 12th, 2016, 05:18 PM
How much can try when nothing work?

I become person no one want seen with so nothing left for try. Probably not go college.


you have to. if it doesn't work in school, try it at your local surroundings. finally, school isn't all of your life.

Xiao.Z
May 12th, 2016, 06:08 PM
I understand school not all but so difficult go when no one like me.

I not think most of children hate me nothing so bad. Seem just easy to make joke about me and no one want associate with person much unpopular.

Lesson not so much difficult as school. Children just ignore or polite not bother. New instructor very kind make life happy.

Ragle
May 13th, 2016, 01:20 AM
ILesson not so much difficult as school. Children just ignore or polite not bother. New instructor very kind make life happy.

At least that's something. Even it's just a faint lihgt streak on the horizon far away and no pink rainbow candy shitting unicorn.

kevenity
May 17th, 2016, 12:46 AM
If you tell your parents and sot down with them to have a real conversation, I'm sure they'd trust you. But yes, tell adults at the school if classmates are mistreating you.

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 10:54 PM
You didn't do anything wrong. They are the ones in the wrong. You need to stand up for yourself. However, if it ever gets physical, tell a teacher right away. You deserve to be treated right!
I'll be praying for you :)

Endeavour
October 20th, 2016, 11:24 PM
Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. :locked: