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Powerade1999
April 19th, 2016, 12:47 AM
I was, and still am emotionally abused.

there, I said it, straight out there.

Ever since I was little, like little little, my mum has emotionally abused myself and my sister, as well as my dad. My dad divorced my mum, and I still see him quite often, however I live with my mum.
I didn't realise what was happening when it happened, and I think thats one of the biggest issues with emotional abuse, you start to believe what you have done, and feel is your fault and you should feel bad for stuff you cannot control.

Growing up only knowing your parent, as doing that makes you think its normal, that every parent does that.

I have a few examples of emotional abuse, that I did not understand what it was at the time. (TW for self harm)
Once my mother came inside after drinking and having a fight with my sister, she lifted up her top and told my sister the cuts on her belly was because of her.
If I ever got upset, or angry over something, my mum would get angry at me and say how I think she would be better off dead (putting words in my mouth)
Once my mum invited her physically abusive ex to stay for a few nights, I sat in my room upset about it, she told me how I never let her do things or have a life. I believed her.
Since I was 12, I have been toying with the idea of seeking mental health help, one of the main reasons stopping me, was the thought that my mum would blame herself, and threaten to hurt herself for doing such things.
It was only recently when I started opening up to more people, taking charge of myself that I came across the term emotional abuse, and that all families aren't like this.
This past Xmas period, I was talking to my sister about it, and she agrees that me and her both were emotionally abused, especially her. A lot of the stuff done had gotten better, and my mum less emotionally abusive, however whenever she drank, it was all aimed at me.

I decided to retaliate from mid dec, to mid Jan. I fought with her every. single. day. everytime she said something, I would give it right back at her. "you're the reason I drink"
"Well I never asked to be born"
After about a month of constant fighting she gave up smoking and drinking.

It got worse.
much worse.

one night, completely sober she just started getting stuck into me about my weight, which when I went to fight back, she went on a rant making up lies and stormed out.
That was the first night I ever sought help from a hotline. (they were really good at calming down)


She has started drinking again, and I just feel betrayed, and let down. She hasnt said any nasty remarks aimed at me of late.

I don't want to fight with her again like I did over Xmas, I think I should just leave it, I finish school this year, and can get a full time job next year, then I will head off to uni a year later. I should just keep busy and hold out till then.


Thankyou for reading.

Cadanance00
April 19th, 2016, 04:46 PM
Keep reaching out. Here or on the hotline. Your parents have real problems and they're not normal. It's not you fault. Keep reaching for the middle, the sane part of you inside that knows she's crazy and not you.

Microcosm
April 23rd, 2016, 11:53 AM
Powerade1999,

You seem like a really mature person and I'm glad you have formulated a plan to go off to uni even through all of this emotional struggle.

I sort of feel bad for your mom. No doubt she's super mean to you, but I just wonder what the cause of all that pent-up anger is.

In agreement with Kayden(^), continuing to find emotional support and building up a support group online or offline will be super helpful throughout this time of transition into getting a job and uni. Such a group could really help to get through the emotional stresses that your mom puts on you and your sister.

I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!

Powerade1999
April 24th, 2016, 07:13 AM
Keep reaching out. Here or on the hotline. Your parents have real problems and they're not normal. It's not you fault. Keep reaching for the middle, the sane part of you inside that knows she's crazy and not you.
My dad is normal, he just lives a few hours away.
Thankyou aswell, honestly. I do need to keep holding onto that part, and I do need to keep trying so hard to keep my mind there.
Powerade1999,

You seem like a really mature person and I'm glad you have formulated a plan to go off to uni even through all of this emotional struggle.

I sort of feel bad for your mom. No doubt she's super mean to you, but I just wonder what the cause of all that pent-up anger is.

In agreement with Kayden(^), continuing to find emotional support and building up a support group online or offline will be super helpful throughout this time of transition into getting a job and uni. Such a group could really help to get through the emotional stresses that your mom puts on you and your sister.

I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!

Thankyou aswell. I need to keep that uni plan in my mind, and keep it fresh, and alive, even if I do end up doing an arts degree. I need to get away.
I do need to build up a suppourt group, suppourting myself on one person and that person only isnt healthy for either of us.


Thankyou both.

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 11:00 PM
Good for you for seeking help from a hotline! You sound like a really brave and awesome person who stands up for yourself! Stay strong! I'll be praying for you :)

Endeavour
October 20th, 2016, 11:16 PM
Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. :locked: