View Full Version : Just looking for some consolation

April 17th, 2016, 06:07 PM
I've been having depressing thoughts lately, VT. It's tough when I start thinking about how all my friends will disappear in the end. I'm in the tenth grade right now and I have some really great friends that I would love to keep forever. They inevitably will go to college, perhaps a different college than the one I go to. There's this one girl who has been my friend since the beginning of ninth grade. I was sort of in love with her to some degree, but it never became anything. Anyways, long story short, she got a boyfriend and they're happy and I actually don't really like her so much anymore in the romantic kind of way. There are still remnants of the feeling left over, but that's what worries me.

This girl, the thought of her leaving destroys me for some reason. It could just be a phase that will pass with time, meaning I may eventually get over the fact that she will eventually leave and I'll just come to terms with it.

Luckily, no one has left yet and they won't leave for about another 2 years, and thank goodness for the internet, because that's probably how I'm going to try and keep up with everyone.

It's just so devastating to think about how all of this, these relationships I've built up throughout middle school and cultivated so far in high school, will invariably change so drastically.

There's this other kid who lives down the street from me. I used to be really good friends with him back when I was about 8 or 9 years old and through about the age of 14(I'm almost 16 now). It was a long-lasting friendship. He is about 2 or 3 years younger than me. About a year ago, he just flat out stopped talking to me--completely cut me off. He stopped responding to calls and texts. Whenever I came to his door to ask if he wanted to hang out, he'd either not answer or nonchalantly make an excuse as to why he couldn't.

It sucked, but it got me thinking about how friends come and go. It's often when you're not looking, when you're least expecting it that they end up leaving. It starts with a series of acts of ignorance for about three weeks then becomes silence, even lack of thought about each other. You just stop thinking about them so much. Then, they mostly disappear except for the memories.

Please note: I am actually happy with the friends I have now. I'm mainly just worried about the future and how I'll keep these friendships intact.

TL;DR: Loneliness sucks, and the future looks quite bleak in that regard.

If you have any advice or thoughts on this, feel free to leave them below. Thanks for reading.

April 22nd, 2016, 12:54 PM
I know Dan, i'm in a similar boat.

All of my friends- the 2 people I consider close friends, and the rest of them friends but not that close. are going off to different universities across the country and then there's me who's going to community college to save money.

I don't think I'm going to be able to make friends at community college. HOWEVER, there's this one girl who i was friends with in 4-6 grade, she's really nice and she's going to community college so it was nice to be able to reconnect with her.

I think that you'll stay in touch with a couple of people, the close ones who count. my best friend is leaving for school and we are going to send emails/letters back and forth to stay in touch.

and then you'll make new friends, meet new people, and fall in love. granted it's not all the good stuff. you're going to lose some friends, drama is bound to happen, and some girl might break your heart. but these feelings are okay. these feelings are what make the other feelings even better.

April 23rd, 2016, 11:58 PM
I have opposite problem. I hope for day everyone will be gone in my life. I not unhappy when this people become only memory.

April 28th, 2016, 03:56 PM
You will make new friends, Dan. I was terrified of starting college, and all of my friends leaving or going to different schools than me. I thought I would be really lonely, but in college you have amazing opportunities to meet new people. You may even realize that some of your childhood friendships lasted mostly for the reason that they were old friendships. In college you have the opportunity to meet likeminded people -- people with the same interests and aspirations as you.

I can relate to how you feel about the girl you mentioned in your post. My best friend of 13 years, we met when we were 8, went to school in Maryland, and her parents moved to Arizona after graduation. I have loved her for almost my entire life. We have loved each other at different points, but she's been in multiple long term relationships for pretty much all of our teen years. I was so devastated over her parents moving so far away, and now she lives in Maryland, which means she doesn't even come back to New Jersey for breaks or the summer. But you know what? That doesn't mean that your friendship has to end. I spent an hour on the phone with her yesterday. We text, snapchat, facetime, and talk on the phone all of the time and I still feel like we are best friends. It sucks now being able to hang out with her all of the time, but that's a part of life and like I said, that doesn't need to be the end of your friendship.

May 22nd, 2016, 01:32 AM
I lost my father a year ago and it I was five days from my birthday when my family found out it was to late. I'm still grieving And it's hard I don't usually let my emotions out I keep them locked up. :(