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historynerd1995
March 28th, 2016, 05:00 PM
When i was 8 a 14 year old girl from my church babysat me. At one point I was sitting next to her on the couch and she pretended to be asleep. She grabbed my hand and rubbed her tits with it. I was 8, but I liked it, it was the first time I remember getting turned on. She babysat me a few times and each time we would play "doctor" and I would end up touching her.

Anyone else had experiences like this? Do all 14 year old girls act like this?

nicole97
March 28th, 2016, 06:02 PM
That's definitely not normal or acceptable behavior on her part. Even it never got beyond light touching and/or you don't feel like anything bad necessarily happened, using an 8-year-old for anything remotely sexual is wrong on so many different levels.

Irishperson15
March 28th, 2016, 06:33 PM
That is just wrong. How could she use an 8 year old to satisfy her own desires. I highly doubt all 14 year old girls are like that. If this upsets you, talk to a counsellor or someone you trust.

mcdaniels
March 28th, 2016, 08:22 PM
This isn't right..you weren't in a position to say you did or did not like it, you were 8 years old.. Whereas if the shoe was on the other foot and it was a boy who molested a little girl, this would be major news.. It's a messed up world we live in

Abhorrence
March 29th, 2016, 06:24 AM
Puberty For All :arrow: Abuse

This seems more suited here.

Unstoppable
March 30th, 2016, 01:35 PM
I'm a 14 year old boy and trust me I've never seen a girl my age have this desire lol

NickTheStar
March 31st, 2016, 09:01 AM
This is wrong. It's not normal at all.

Sheriff McGregor
March 31st, 2016, 09:21 AM
Weird ... I think it's absolutely disgusting for her to do that but, I'm not sure if this should be categorized as sexual molestation. I doubt something like this would psychologically damage you but I'm not sure. It's still perverted and nasty of her.

Bull
March 31st, 2016, 10:11 AM
Your babysitter crossed a line with you. The fact that it was ongoing indicates she was psychologically unstable. You were taken advantage of, even though you seemed to enjoy what was happening at the time. Did she ever touch you inappropriately? That would be even more an indication of her illness. Her behavior was defiantly abnormal, and wonder how her life has played out. I hope you have no negative feeling toward yourself and that you do not feel traumatized. Your sitter took advantage of you. I do not think she is reprehensive of 14 year old girls.

Uniquemind
April 1st, 2016, 03:38 AM
Abnormal behavior for sure, but rare idk.

The more I read about sexual abuse cases the more prevalent I think it really is.

People just like stomach it and move on with their life as best they can and then on the other hand people talk.

Definitely see a psychologist is what I recommend.

How long ago was this?

Cadanance00
April 2nd, 2016, 02:30 PM
How could you like it if you were only 8?

I believe I would think it was weird.

Silasp
April 4th, 2016, 01:48 AM
When i was 8 a 14 year old girl from my church babysat me. At one point I was sitting next to her on the couch and she pretended to be asleep. She grabbed my hand and rubbed her tits with it. I was 8, but I liked it, it was the first time I remember getting turned on. She babysat me a few times and each time we would play "doctor" and I would end up touching her.

Anyone else had experiences like this? Do all 14 year old girls act like this?
Through many years a psychologist appointments I realised I was molested by a young teenage woman or two. They sat around and played with my penis and watched it get hard and they'd laugh about it. Now this is what I strive for. Up to 3 women sharing a blowjob of me makes me feel right. Makes me feel normal. A woman that puts her hands down my pants when and where she wants is completely ok by me now

zack.zack
April 4th, 2016, 06:05 AM
When i was 8 a 14 year old girl from my church babysat me. At one point I was sitting next to her on the couch and she pretended to be asleep. She grabbed my hand and rubbed her tits with it. I was 8, but I liked it, it was the first time I remember getting turned on. She babysat me a few times and each time we would play "doctor" and I would end up touching her.

Anyone else had experiences like this? Do all 14 year old girls act like this?

I had a similar experience when I was younger than that, I wrote about it in my blog on here if youd like to read it, but what she did was wrong and is definitely not normal for a 14 yo girl to do to an 8 yo boy -- she just crossed the line on that one.

GothSwimmer
April 5th, 2016, 07:49 AM
I didn't think it was possible for a girl to molest a guy, to be honest.

Cadanance00
April 5th, 2016, 10:21 AM
I didn't think it was possible for a girl to molest a guy, to be honest.

I imagine if the kid was only 8 yrs old he could be talked into doing something he didn't want to, or putting up with something like that.

GothSwimmer
April 5th, 2016, 10:25 AM
I imagine if the kid was only 8 yrs old he could be talked into doing something he didn't want to, or putting up with something like that.

You are correct, of course, and I'm not doubting what he's saying. I just had never considered that a girl might be able to rape a boy.

Cadanance00
April 6th, 2016, 09:02 AM
You are correct, of course, and I'm not doubting what he's saying. I just had never considered that a girl might be able to rape a boy.

Well, yeah. I don't suppose she could force penetration but here if she has sex with him even if he's willing it's statutory rape and I imagine the boy could be coerced into doing it. I think depending on the circumstances it's not as traumatic for the boy as it would be for a girl as boys are wired up to want to try it. Still 8 is far too young.

GothSwimmer
April 6th, 2016, 12:14 PM
Well, yeah. I don't suppose she could force penetration but here if she has sex with him even if he's willing it's statutory rape and I imagine the boy could be coerced into doing it. I think depending on the circumstances it's not as traumatic for the boy as it would be for a girl as boys are wired up to want to try it. Still 8 is far too young.

Absolutely agreed there. 8 is far far far too young.

Cadanance00
April 6th, 2016, 12:32 PM
Absolutely agreed there. 8 is far far far too young.

Even older it can be bad. Guy I know had sex with his next door neighbor who's as old as his mother. I think she talked him into it and he can't stand to even look at the house next door. He says she's a pervert & things like that. Don't know what they did but he's messed up about it.

GothSwimmer
April 6th, 2016, 01:21 PM
Even older it can be bad. Guy I know had sex with his next door neighbor who's as old as his mother. I think she talked him into it and he can't stand to even look at the house next door. He says she's a pervert & things like that. Don't know what they did but he's messed up about it.

Yeah, I don't agree with big age gaps in relationships. They tend to imply something weird.

Cadanance00
April 6th, 2016, 01:24 PM
Yeah, I don't agree with big age gaps in relationships. They tend to imply something weird.

I don't think you can say that was a relationship. I think she just wanted a young buck with a stiff dick. He's still fucked up about it.

GothSwimmer
April 6th, 2016, 01:29 PM
I don't think you can say that was a relationship. I think she just wanted a young buck with a stiff dick. He's still fucked up about it.

I can imagine he would be. Not good at all. Abuse all over the bloody place.

Serra
April 6th, 2016, 01:32 PM
I don't think you can say that was a relationship. I think she just wanted a young buck with a stiff dick. He's still fucked up about it.

That's just messed up on so many levels

In fact using people for anything is so messed up.

Cadanance00
April 6th, 2016, 01:34 PM
I can imagine he would be. Not good at all. Abuse all over the bloody place.

I read abuse is all about the abuser getting his satisfaction and doesn't care at all about the other person. He even doesn't care if he inflicts pain, or enjoys it if he does. The exact opposite of what you do in a relationship.

Bad way to start a sex life.

GothSwimmer
April 6th, 2016, 01:52 PM
I read abuse is all about the abuser getting his satisfaction and doesn't care at all about the other person. He even doesn't care if he inflicts pain, or enjoys it if he does. The exact opposite of what you do in a relationship.

Bad way to start a sex life.

I can attest to the truth in that statement. It definitely has longterm repercussions. I was hurt a lot by my abusers, and now need to feel that pain to ever really feel sexual. It's not good :mad:

Uniquemind
April 7th, 2016, 01:14 PM
I can attest to the truth in that statement. It definitely has longterm repercussions. I was hurt a lot by my abusers, and now need to feel that pain to ever really feel sexual. It's not good :mad:

The human brain is so weird that way huh?

You would think the brain would associate that with bad, but for a lot of people that pain gets associated with the personalized process of what makes on get turned on or come into their own sexual power going forward in life.

And you need to know how one ticks to have a successful romance life.

Isn't there a therapy to undo the mental associations of abuse and that state of mind where we give ourself permission to be comfortably turn on?

GothSwimmer
April 7th, 2016, 02:17 PM
The human brain is so weird that way huh?

You would think the brain would associate that with bad, but for a lot of people that pain gets associated with the personalized process of what makes on get turned on or come into their own sexual power going forward in life.

And you need to know how one ticks to have a successful romance life.

Isn't there a therapy to undo the mental associations of abuse and that state of mind where we give ourself permission to be comfortably turn on?

Probably, but I doubt I'll ever be able to afford something so bespoke :(

Masochist 4 Life

Uniquemind
April 8th, 2016, 09:27 PM
Probably, but I doubt I'll ever be able to afford something so bespoke :(

Masochist 4 Life

Does have to cost much, maybe there's some new experimental study for a new therapy you could be a part of.

I'd stay away from any drugs therapies though.

But sometimes they're out there, new talk therapies etc.

I know these forums, or at least this section of the forum, tries to be like a casual talk-to-talk therapy session that's free, and half the time that's what a therapist does anyway.

Sometimes I do wonder if the abuse hadn't occurred if those pain wants would've occurred naturally anyway in a person upon just normal growing and self-discovery in a intimate relationship.

Is it because of the trauma, or is there simply a thrill-seeking kinda aspect to that person, that would've enhanced intimacy anyway just because that's their natural precondition.

GothSwimmer
April 9th, 2016, 03:32 AM
Does have to cost much, maybe there's some new experimental study for a new therapy you could be a part of.

I'd stay away from any drugs therapies though.

But sometimes they're out there, new talk therapies etc.

I know these forums, or at least this section of the forum, tries to be like a casual talk-to-talk therapy session that's free, and half the time that's what a therapist does anyway.

Sometimes I do wonder if the abuse hadn't occurred if those pain wants would've occurred naturally anyway in a person upon just normal growing and self-discovery in a intimate relationship.

Is it because of the trauma, or is there simply a thrill-seeking kinda aspect to that person, that would've enhanced intimacy anyway just because that's their natural precondition.

I don't know... I can pretty keenly associate my abuse with what I do now to pleasure myself. I didn't do it at all before.

Uniquemind
April 9th, 2016, 04:54 AM
I don't know... I can pretty keenly associate my abuse with what I do now to pleasure myself. I didn't do it at all before.

I think it's the brains natural way of desensitizing itself to the initial trauma in an attempt to break the paradox of guilt and enjoyment of said trauma.

Like fear exposure therapy or something, except not, because your the one with control and consent with a partner you mutually are with.

That's just my theory on why this occurs.

It's like the brain wants to trigger itself until the trigger wears out, and breaks like an overused button.

It also doesn't help that parents and society keep attaching social intimacy abstract meaning into the act of sexual pleasure.

It can be argued that adds undo stress to sexual trauma victims, since it becomes a huge issue to reconcile good and bad with touch sensations.

My parents were unique in the sense that they explained the existence of sexual pleasure and the concept of consent and personal body as separate but related topics.

--

My friends and I have had sleepover dirty silly talk, and we tease one of our friends because you wouldn't think it but she's got her mind in the gutter all the time, and puts us all to shame. She said she hadn't been abused or anything, she's just a natural thrill seeker like that.

You can't prove a negative, ultimately even if one wasn't abused perhaps one would still discover one day certain things appeal to them and others don't.

The important thing is to recognize right from wrong, and what consent is or isn't.

GothSwimmer
April 9th, 2016, 05:17 AM
I think it's the brains natural way of desensitizing itself to the initial trauma in an attempt to break the paradox of guilt and enjoyment of said trauma.

Like fear exposure therapy or something, except not, because your the one with control and consent with a partner you mutually are with.

That's just my theory on why this occurs.

It's like the brain wants to trigger itself until the trigger wears out, and breaks like an overused button.

It also doesn't help that parents and society keep attaching social intimacy abstract meaning into the act of sexual pleasure.

It can be argued that adds undo stress to sexual trauma victims, since it becomes a huge issue to reconcile good and bad with touch sensations.

My parents were unique in the sense that they explained the existence of sexual pleasure and the concept of consent and personal body as separate but related topics.

--

My friends and I have had sleepover dirty silly talk, and we tease one of our friends because you wouldn't think it but she's got her mind in the gutter all the time, and puts us all to shame. She said she hadn't been abused or anything, she's just a natural thrill seeker like that.

You can't prove a negative, ultimately even if one wasn't abused perhaps one would still discover one day certain things appeal to them and others don't.

The important thing is to recognize right from wrong, and what consent is or isn't.

I don't disagree with the latter part, but I'm stating emphatically that I "like" what I "like" as a result of my abuse. I may be unable to prove a negative, but I can speak from the heart and say I never had the feelings that I do now prior to my abuse. The thought that it was in any way self-fulfilling or lucky that my abuse matched my preference or vice versa makes me feel sick. It's not true.

lliam
April 9th, 2016, 06:02 AM
How long ago was this?

Assuming, he was born 1995, then it happened 2003, when he was 8yo. So, 13 years ago.


I don't quite agree with the general tenor of the replies in this thread.


Of course, it isn't acceptable in any case when a 14 year old babysitter behaves that way against a child which is trusted given in her/his care.


But since we don't know about the motives and the former, emotional maturity of this babysitter, it's very difficult to assess whether she was really responsible for her actions, cause some 14 yos are mentally little more mature than 8 or 10 yo kids or such.


On the other hand the post of the OP gives me something to think about. I namely can't realize that the OP suggests in any way that he has really suffered from this experience.


And that is essential in order to assess his experience approximately in a neutral and objective manner. Because I don't like prejudices. And prejudging those cases isn't something we should be doing in general.


So, if the OP is really 21 years old, as I suppose ( just refering to the 1995 in his Nick), then I assume that the OP is able to say exactly whether he was suffering or not from this experience, if he brings up this topic after 13 years in a thread, so unsuspecting readers like me can clearly see what he want's express with his post.

So it's left to us, the readers of his post, to interpret our own outrage into it ... or not. And that is always fatal, because it generally leads to misjudgments of an individual experience.

Uniquemind
April 10th, 2016, 04:46 AM
I don't disagree with the latter part, but I'm stating emphatically that I "like" what I "like" as a result of my abuse. I may be unable to prove a negative, but I can speak from the heart and say I never had the feelings that I do now prior to my abuse. The thought that it was in any way self-fulfilling or lucky that my abuse matched my preference or vice versa makes me feel sick. It's not true.

Yeah there's a reason I didn't use those terms to describe the abstract concept I was talking about "self-fulfilling or lucky" carries a completely different tone of the idea I'm trying to convey.

There's something about the concept of one's will being violated or forced and not respected, especially sexually, that really affects deeply.

In cases where a not-yet traumatized person remembers life before and after they experienced a traumatic event, there's definitely a shift.

Godsdaughter
October 20th, 2016, 11:06 PM
That is disgusting and certainly not normal.
As long as it isn't happening anymore though, I wouldn't worry about it :)

Endeavour
October 20th, 2016, 11:23 PM
Please don't post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. :locked: