View Full Version : Relapse..

March 24th, 2016, 07:37 AM
My ex-boyfriend and I always go back and forth in terms of fighting but we always end up coming back to each other and making up. Last night he texted me that I have been "using him". I was seriously hurt because I'm always there for him even when I'm dealing with my own issues. He made me this promise just recently that he'd never leave me because just recently I saw the true colors of my "friends" and I'm no longer on good terms with him. My ex claims that I've just been using him since now I basically don't have friends. These accusations started a few nights ago when we were at a party and a made two new friends who happened to be guys. I admired and I apologized heavily for leaving him that night but he keeps bringing it up and accusing me of things. It's like..he's the one who's made the majority of the mistakes in our relationship/friendship but I don't hold that stuff against him. He's forgetting the major fact that even before when I was friends with them, I was still always there for him and always chose him over them. He said he's not upset and that he'll still be there for him but..I still feel horrible because he still thinks I just use him. That I only need him sometimes. He doesn't get that he's all I've got left.. I haven't felt so uneasy in a very long time - I didn't even feel this bad when I lost my friends. I care about him so much but it's like my efforts are being overshadowed by my one mistake. What's worse is I have a history of depression due to matters I won't go deep into but it's essentially to do with being spiritually and emotionally alone, disregarded, and degraded. I don't think I could handle losing him and I'm doing my very best to stay away from my razors, I'm trying to be strong just as I've been for the past 2 years but it's so hard, I care about this boy way too heavily and him thinking I'm "using him" is the last thing I want..I really don't know what to do..

May 20th, 2016, 07:22 AM
You shouldn't be dealing with shit this heavy when you're still this young. I know people say 'relationships are hard' but that's for when you're an adult, and there's serious stuff involved like work and money. When you're still a teen, your relationship should be mostly good most of the time. What you described sounds like two people who obviously have strong feelings, but who both keep fucking with each other, and it's not good for either of you.

He's jealous and accusatory and honestly sounds a little manipulative. You gotta ask yourself: if this boy makes you feel like shit, makes you want to self harm, makes you feel guilty and awful, does he really care about you?

Drop him. That's my advice. It's not your job to save him.