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SammiB
February 18th, 2016, 09:22 AM
Some of my friends are doing everything but sex but I think if you are going that far anyway, what's the point of staying a "virgin". I don't question them because I know that'll turn into drama, but am I missing something? In your opinion are you still a virgin if you:

1) have been eaten out

2) been fingered

3) had oral sex

4) had anal sex

RainbowLove
February 18th, 2016, 12:23 PM
I think virginity is a crazy concept. The idea that you lose something by having sex is bizarre, and totally untrue. It's an experience, not a loss!

Sublime Demonz
February 18th, 2016, 12:47 PM
Yeah, I'm with the above post. I don't really believe in the idea of "virginity".

Moriya
February 18th, 2016, 02:04 PM
I think virginity is a crazy concept. The idea that you lose something by having sex is bizarre, and totally untrue. It's an experience, not a loss!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Fiction
February 18th, 2016, 04:12 PM
I remember when I was younger I did other things a good few months earlier than having sex. In my mind it was something to do with the risk of getting pregnant being absent in other situations, being too scared to get hormonal contraception and not trusting condoms.

Uniquemind
February 18th, 2016, 09:02 PM
I believe in virginity, but I believe too much dogmatic importance and economic value is placed on it.

Katie96xox
February 19th, 2016, 01:53 PM
No, I think all the things listed disqualify someone from being a virgin

LanaPole
February 19th, 2016, 06:12 PM
i think only viginal sex counts as losing virginity...

Uniquemind
February 19th, 2016, 10:39 PM
Like I said in a past thread, I define it as having engaged in any act, that has the ability to infect oneself with an STI/STD and spread it, as having lost virginity.

SammiB
February 20th, 2016, 10:11 AM
Wow, lots of different and good points here. I think the idea of penis in vagina sex as the only way to lose virginity needs to be changed. LGBTQ people have sex all the time and most of it isn't penis in vagina lol. Plus, I don't think there should be any shame or great pride in being a virgin or not...

BabyGMarie
February 21st, 2016, 02:57 PM
"i think only viginal sex counts as losing virginity..."

I agree

maritza
February 21st, 2016, 10:01 PM
to me i think unless you have had vaginal sex then yes ur a virgin

Princess Ariel
February 23rd, 2016, 12:47 AM
Virginity is not a thing. It is entirely a social construct meant to make people, especially women, feel badly about their sexuality and sexual experience. It is a way of policing other people’s bodies and passing judgment on how they use them. It is, at its very core, a way of controlling and subjugating women.

Many people would define loss of virginity in a very heteronormative sense – a sexual act where the penis penetrates the vagina. But does that mean, then, that a queer woman who has only ever been with other women is a virgin? Is a gay man, who has only ever had anal sex, a virgin? Most people, would agree that no, those folks aren’t really virgins, even if they’ve never had penis-in-vagina-style intercourse. The flip side of this is that many rape victims don’t feel as if they have lost their virginity even if they’ve had penetrative intercourse forced on them. They consider themselves to be virgins because they don’t consider what happened to them to be sex.

See what I'm getting at here?

But more importantly, why does "virginity" mean so much to us?

City Kid
February 23rd, 2016, 11:06 AM
Just a quick reminder that the purpose of this thread is to discuss the definition of virginity, not to talk about which sexual experiences you have/haven't had.

Doro15
February 24th, 2016, 08:50 AM
i think only viginal sex counts as losing virginity...

correct, it is also my opinion

Uniquemind
February 24th, 2016, 11:17 AM
Virginity is not a thing. It is entirely a social construct meant to make people, especially women, feel badly about their sexuality and sexual experience. It is a way of policing other people’s bodies and passing judgment on how they use them. It is, at its very core, a way of controlling and subjugating women.

Many people would define loss of virginity in a very heteronormative sense – a sexual act where the penis penetrates the vagina. But does that mean, then, that a queer woman who has only ever been with other women is a virgin? Is a gay man, who has only ever had anal sex, a virgin? Most people, would agree that no, those folks aren’t really virgins, even if they’ve never had penis-in-vagina-style intercourse. The flip side of this is that many rape victims don’t feel as if they have lost their virginity even if they’ve had penetrative intercourse forced on them. They consider themselves to be virgins because they don’t consider what happened to them to be sex.

See what I'm getting at here?

But more importantly, why does "virginity" mean so much to us?

That's why my definition covers those gaps in logic of the majority view understanding of virginity.

federica
February 28th, 2016, 11:58 AM
i think virginity is a ridiculus and religious concept...

LITTLEANGEL17
February 28th, 2016, 12:25 PM
I am a "virgin" as I never had sexual intercourse

Taryn98
February 28th, 2016, 01:14 PM
to me virginity is lost through vaginal sex

prtygurl
February 28th, 2016, 08:21 PM
Virginity is just a name for "something for the first time." There was a first time I kissed a boy (for real, not just an affectionate peck.) I remember that. Losing that particular "first time" doesn't have a name, but if I were asked "did you ever kiss a boy," I'd have to say "yes."

Being asked "are you a virgin?" (I don't think many people in Western society are likely to do that) YOU have to decide how to answer.

MissKnowitAll
February 28th, 2016, 10:51 PM
Even if you're are raped you've lost your virginity. If a guys penis goes anywhere near ur "privates" BOOM! Bye bye virginity.

Jordan99
March 1st, 2016, 09:43 AM
I think traditional virginity and loss thereof has been based upon the hymen and whether or not it is in tact. That's how my mom explained it to me but even that cannot always be totally accurate because I've heard of girls breaking their hymen doing things like riding horses or playing in sports.

Mods, in advance I am sorry and you can delete this line if it goes to far...anyway, I have girlfriends who think that having anal sex let's them technically claim they are still virgins. They call it the "poophole loophole." I disagree because I think if a penis enters your body (other than oral) then you are no longer a virgin.

nicole97
March 3rd, 2016, 08:45 PM
Normally I think of it being the first time someone has vaginal sex, and that's what I consider it for myself. That being said I recognize for other people the situation might be more complicated due to their sexual preferences, or because there 'traditional' first time might not have been consensual.

flowerchild
March 4th, 2016, 10:10 AM
Normally I think of it being the first time someone has vaginal sex, and that's what I consider it for myself. That being said I recognize for other people the situation might be more complicated due to their sexual preferences, or because there 'traditional' first time might not have been consensual.
I agree with nicole, vaginal sex is what i consider not being a virgin any more

SkyClad33605
March 4th, 2016, 11:45 AM
I think virginity is a crazy concept. The idea that you lose something by having sex is bizarre, and totally untrue. It's an experience, not a loss!

This 1000%

Virginity is an outdated concept from when women were treated as property and virginity was the only way to insure who the father of her children was.

playfull-qt
April 10th, 2016, 10:23 PM
to me i think unless you have had vaginal sex then yes ur a virgin

I agree !!

litte_beautiful
April 11th, 2016, 09:18 AM
Before having sexual intercourse I was scared of getting pregnant so I have been eaten out, I had oral sex. I think a penis in vagina is the only way you lose virginity

juanita
April 11th, 2016, 04:34 PM
Some of my friends are doing everything but sex but I think if you are going that far anyway, what's the point of staying a "virgin". I don't question them because I know that'll turn into drama, but am I missing something? In your opinion are you still a virgin if you:

1) have been eaten out

2) been fingered

3) had oral sex

4) had anal sex

I think doing everything else is a great way of sharing and enjoying someone else without the risk of pregnancy or contracting disease. There are lots of ways for girls and boys to have orgasams without penetration, virgin or not is a personal decision.

KellyNC
April 11th, 2016, 06:32 PM
As someone who is bi and had their first experiences with a girl, I personally consider 'my first time' to be either the first time I gave/received oral from and 'tribbed' with another girl (for me, it was right after another). My first time with a guy was different, but I wouldn't have said I was a virgin at the time, even if technically PIV is the only thing that 'really counts'.

Marilyn_monroe
May 24th, 2016, 12:26 PM
Yes its all considered sexual activity...

Splashy Splash
June 27th, 2016, 02:00 PM
I really believe what the 2nd poster stated above about virginity. Virginity it not something you loss when you have sex it is something you experience when you have sex. I mean prior to having vaginal sex do you walk around with the word "Virgin" written on your forehead"?No. After you have sex nothing changes as well except you experienced something with hopefully a person that is special to you.

Leena_2003
November 17th, 2017, 08:20 PM
I know for most people it means that you had a penis inside your vagina. But I don't understand how that is different from having someone's finger in there... does it matter what body part it is?

Dalcourt
November 17th, 2017, 10:33 PM
Please don't bump threads older than two months :locked: